Thread: Am I the only lonely person? How rare is loneliness?

tropicalbreeze, at least 4 people who voted in this thread would want to be more like you ^^

The previous picture was "snow splashed on blue background". It was so meaningless a change had to be done. So I picked a new picture which kind of fits my nonsensical username.

I'll check it out, thanks for the link.

Nah I think the picture is quite beautiful I don't remember ever feeling this with pictures (that's why I can't appreciate paintings), but I feel what she is feeling. Or maybe the person is male with very pretty hair She just stepped into fresh air, stretches her arms and breathes, allowing her lungs to take in all the sweetness. *sniffffff* ahhhhhhh

It's a pleasure I hope you find it helpful.

I'm not lonely, I'm anything but depressed

I highly recommend The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

He is a psychologist and philosopher and writes about every kind of love, whether it be the parent's love to their child, the erotic love to your partner, loving yourself or loving god.

I appreciate your recommendation, but how is that relevant to this thread? I'm not saying that you shouldn't post anying off-topic, I mean.. Post whatever the hell you want! But I'm just curious if there is a loneliness-love link that I missed..

Originally Posted by Ginsan

I appreciate your recommendation, but how is that relevant to this thread? I'm not saying that you shouldn't post anying off-topic, I mean.. Post whatever the hell you want! But I'm just curious if there is a loneliness-love link that I missed..

of course! how could I forget that?

Erich Fromm thinks that pretty much everyone has a feeling of disconnection (~loneliness) and therefore tries to be loved.
Interestingly, according to Fromm, you shouldn't try to be loved, you should try to give as much love as possible.


I see how it sounds completely off-topic, and it might still sound off-topic because I'm the worst at describing books
but it's a book full of great thoughts and ideas, especially for people who know this feeling of disconnection
I'm sure it's a great book for people who suffer from loneliness

Yeah thanks, Conscience. I'll put it in the notepad on my phone and I might read it some day. I don't know if giving is more or less enjoyable than receiving love (I prefer giving), but I think it is definitely more sustainable.

EDIT: I want to add something for the sake of honesty. I may only prefer giving love because when I receive I feel indebted to give back. When you give love there is less pressure to love the person in the future. And I'm talking about any kind of relationship.

Ginsan, I'd recommend at least one hour of meditation per day, although I started my practice doing two one-hour sessions, and seeing the results it brought, I wouldn't have done it any other way. You might want to start with thirty-minute sessions if you feel one hour sits are too much at first. The early morning or just upon awakening is an excellent time to meditate, as the mind is already calm and relaxed, so it's a great opportunity to experience really tranquil and concentratedre states of mind and eventually give rise to the rapture that results from these states, and the end of the day is also a great time to meditate, as it allows the meditator to face and deal with all of the issues that arose during the day which one likely needs to release one's attachment to, almost like a workout for the mind to develop the skills needed to alleviate harmful mind states.

I agree that 2 sessions, one after waking up and one before sleeping is a great way to practice. The problem is that I'm just too lazy. Maybe if I suffered more, I would care enough about it to spend decent time practicing.

Am I the only lonely person? How rare is loneliness?

Ask the orphans in Africa.

Personally, I don't understand why people are so obsessed with finding companionship. While most would go barmy being alone, I love it. I can't stand social activities of any kind. For me, they are stressful and boring. [Shrugs] Then again, that could be because I find people in general to be boring. I am not shy by any means; I am more than capable of asserting mineself if I need or want to. In fact, many people are intimidated by me. [Shrugs] But otherwise, I usually don't care to deal with people on an emotional level. In mine opinion, the best kind of relationship is a professional one.

Aristaeus, this may very well sound condescending and I apologise in advance. Your words would have a much stronger resonance with me a few months ago, but not so now. I want to move away from this kind of attitude. Simply because it's less enjoyable. You miss out on things if you can't enjoy people's company, you know? I don't enjoy social activities that much and last week I wrote something like this in my notepad "Really, how much would I care if every single person I knew or had ever known would die right now? Not much.. The impact on my life would probably not even be significant enough to make me depressed." (Which I often am) And I still have that opinion. But I also think that while I know these people, I might as well enjoy their company.

Having said that, I still don't give a damn about my parents and brother, even though they're wonderful people, I just don't really like them that much. But maybe you are an exception. Maybe you are just not bothered by not having company. But I see where you're coming from and I can relate to you, as you can probably tell by that notepad entry. But I also wonder if you are simply ignorant of the pleasures of company?

EDIT: Okay.. I might become a little depressed but I will very likely be just fine.

Aristaeus, this may very well sound condescending and I apologise in advance

You don't sound condescening at all. I percieved more curiosity from your reply than alleged condescending attitude.

You miss out on things if you can't enjoy people's company, you know?

[Nods] Hmm, technically there is some truth to this. There is power in numbers--and if you control those numbers, you can be an unstoppable force.

But maybe you are an exception. Maybe you are just not bothered by not having company.

[Nods] Indeed to both sentences. Mine lack of interest in intimate relationships is more natural than it is psychosomatic. Is there a particular food you dislike? A certain movie genre you avoid? That is exactly how I am with company; you simply don't like it, and are satisfied without it.

But I also wonder if you are simply ignorant of the pleasures of company?

Hmm, at some levels this may be true. Though if you ask me, that depends on whether you find pleasure in the phenomenon to begin with, and what you personally define as a pleasure.

Interesting response, but I can't think of anything clever to say right now, because my mind is occupied with thoughts about the rat that has just entered the premises

EDIT: The rat is gone, which should worry me because I didn't see where it went, but it doesn't. And I have nothing to say, Ari. Enjoy your solitude