Thread: "Friends" over the Internet

I strongly feel that people you develop close relationships with, whether it be in person or over the internet, can be defined as friends.

I have close friends that I talk to almost everyday here on DV, and my husband has buddies he talks to everyday over the internet (via Team Speak so they actually talk to each other, and you recognize their voices). And when someone has a problem and doesn't show up for awhile, we naturally worry about them, just as we would if it happened to a friend we "saw" everyday.

Just because you're not physically near them, doesn't mean you can't share the same emotions that traditional friends do. I think the internet has really opened the field for people to become friends and buddies that span several continents. You can share stories, emotions, and have fun banter just the same as if the person lived near you. So you can't go to the bar and hang out together - so what? Just grab a beer, get on Team Speak, or IM each other.

This is kinda embarrassing to admit, but I don't really have a lot of friends "in the real world" besides my sister, mom, and husband. It's just hard to find time to hang out with people when everyone is so busy these days. It's a whole lot easier to get home from work, flip on the computer, and communicate with friends that way. I keep in touch with several family members and friends via email only. This allows everyone to live their life and still keep in touch with friends and family - if I only had as many friends as I got to spend actual "in person" time with - I'd be very lonely.

So bottom line: YES - I would consider people I talk to almost everyday on the internet as friends.

I have made some amazing friendships online. I hope someday I'll get to meet some of these people I call "friends"

A friend is someone who wants for you what you want for youself, and vice-versa. I don't think distance changes that

I've laughed, cried, swooned, swore, etc, etc, with friends in IM conversations. These emotions in no way felt fake or watered down.

Though I do wish I could meet them in person, undeniably there is something missing without that.

I dont think it matters wheater the person is from a differernt part of the world that you met online or if they live right next to you. I have had some amazing friendshisps, still do, with people online. INfact, there are two people from DV that I consider best friends because I know them so deeply, and they kwno me just as well. Of coruse, I do talk to them on aim and on the phone too. It just sucks osmeitmes not being able to be with them. However, I am positivley sure that I will go out to meet them one day because i simply cant not I also have best friends outside of the internet too, and there is a bit of difference. Jst being next to someone creats this realness, an indescrible feeling. Friends are people who know who you really are and you know them just as well.

Yes. 100% Yes. It's totally possible to have friends over the internet. I certainly have friends in real-life. I also have real-life friends who I stay in touch with over the internet. I also have friends from the internet I've never met in real-life. The internet, like as not, is just another place in which social contact occurs. Sure, you may not be able to actually see the other person, and this sure as hell limits things (The majority of communication is non-verbal). But nevertheless, it's completely possible to have friends, even very good friends, over the internet.

I definately have friends that I keep in contact with via the internet. Most of them are actually from DV. I really like the people here, and to say that those people weren't my friends would be kind of crazy.

i would say i have only really "met" people who are truly on my wavelength online...pretty frustrating actually.

when most of one's hobbies and interests are solitary ones, one can feel a true affinity with online creatures who have similar interests/mindsets.
sadly, this affinity is often greater for me than that shared with those i may technically spend in-the-flesh time with, but only in order to get fucked up

my "alone" time is largely spent expanding myself.
my "social" time is largely spent obliterating consciousness through copious amounts of alcohol, drugs, and mindless social interaction.

Originally posted by Burns
I strongly feel that people you develop close relationships with, whether it be in person or over the internet, can be defined as friends.

I have close friends that I talk to almost everyday here on DV, and my husband has buddies he talks to everyday over the internet (via Team Speak so they actually talk to each other, and you recognize their voices). And when someone has a problem and doesn't show up for awhile, we naturally worry about them, just as we would if it happened to a friend we "saw" everyday.

Just because you're not physically near them, doesn't mean you can't share the same emotions that traditional friends do. I think the internet has really opened the field for people to become friends and buddies that span several continents. You can share stories, emotions, and have fun banter just the same as if the person lived near you. So you can't go to the bar and hang out together - so what? Just grab a beer, get on Team Speak, or IM each other.

This is kinda embarrassing to admit, but I don't really have a lot of friends "in the real world" besides my sister, mom, and husband. It's just hard to find time to hang out with people when everyone is so busy these days. It's a whole lot easier to get home from work, flip on the computer, and communicate with friends that way. I keep in touch with several family members and friends via email only. This allows everyone to live their life and still keep in touch with friends and family - if I only had as many friends as I got to spend actual "in person" time with - I'd be very lonely.

So bottom line: YES - I would consider people I talk to almost everyday on the internet as friends.

I agree with Burns 100%, I met my very ,very best friend over the internet , we talk on Ventrilo every day , no matter what we find time to chat.

I have many friends in the real world and have worked with and met many people, but I have never had a closer friendship than I have with her and this one other man I met online.
I love all my freinds because they are so great . but these two are in a class by themselves , I truely feel as though I know them better that I have ever known anyone in my real world and they know me. So, yes I do think you can make wonderful friends on the net.. and she is more than welcome to come to Cali and stay anytime she likes and I could go to Minn .

I used to have a differnt opinion but when I was able to speak to her ,not just type, hearing then made all the differance.

On the internet, I open up much more than I do in real life. I can talk to complete strangers about things that I have never talked about to anyone in the real world.

Maybe this is why I have more friends online than I do in real life.

I think a lot of people who don't talk regularly with people over the internet seem to think as if people who do don't have any 'real' friends, and that the people they talk to are all emotionless people who don't get enough sunlight, all labelled as weird cyber punk/geeks.

People over the Internet are as real as those you talk to normally, although it may be harder to visualise them. Personally I find it harder to talk to people over the internet, I just like to see people I guess.

I am a firm believer in "friends" and support any supporters of this. I must say though that a friend on the web can't compare to a friend IRL based on factors. A friend on the internet can be a liar, a whole false person that you think you know, and in real life its easier to see the truth in a person. I'm not trying to say that everyone is "real" in real life, but they can be more real than a friend over the web.

Look at it this way a friend off the internet is alot like say a sports video game. You can be your favorite player,can get real good at the sport, have the crowd screaming for you blah blah blah...but it still lacks that something that a real world buddy would deliver. This is because to the person that is on the "other side" you are who you want to be not who you are. A relationship on the internet can be very humanatarian, but it still wouldn't be as nourishing as a real life relationship.

A real life relationship just has all the factors that us as human beings use to relate to one another, and the internet doesn't. And anyways isn't it terribly depressing how fast you realize people just vanish? But in the end im not saying the connection isn't there im just saying maybe a friend over the internet could be comparable to watching a movie based on a novel; while you get alot of the story the same, some of it is distorted to entertain, and you're alot better off reading the real thing.(The novel)

If you write a letter to someone once a month for 2 years, that would even be considered friendship. I dont see why you have to personally meet the person.

Originally Posted by wombing

i would say i have only really "met" people who are truly on my wavelength online...pretty frustrating actually.
when most of one's hobbies and interests are solitary ones, one can feel a true affinity with online creatures who have similar interests/mindsets.
sadly, this affinity is often greater for me than that shared with those i may technically spend in-the-flesh time with, but only in order to get fucked up
my "alone" time is largely spent expanding myself.
my "social" time is largely spent obliterating consciousness through copious amounts of alcohol, drugs, and mindless social interaction.
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hahahaha ditto. actually that's depressing and doesn't warrant laughter. aww

I have 2 or 3 real-life friends who are truly on my wavelength, and loads people that I've known for varying amounts of time, with whom I get fucked up when I'm too tired of thinking. They call me friend and I call them friend back, but it's hardly a friendship if you can't tell whether you have 10 or 50 such friends. That doesn't really happen online, you either genuinely like talking to the person or you don't. No phony alliances, no pretense. And if an online friend goes to the dark side, you're not obligated to hang out with them out of second-degree friendships. Online friendships are real, because anything that could be fake about a friendship is completely pointless.

Originally Posted by Dangeruss

hahahaha ditto. actually that's depressing and doesn't warrant laughter. aww

I have 2 or 3 real-life friends who are truly on my wavelength, and loads people that I've known for varying amounts of time, with whom I get fucked up when I'm too tired of thinking. They call me friend and I call them friend back, but it's hardly a friendship if you can't tell whether you have 10 or 50 such friends. That doesn't really happen online, you either genuinely like talking to the person or you don't. No phony alliances, no pretense. And if an online friend goes to the dark side, you're not obligated to hang out with them out of second-degree friendships. Online friendships are real, because anything that could be fake about a friendship is completely pointless.
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Yeah, I agree. I also have only a few friends who I consider to be on my wavelength, so to speak. Off the top of my head, I can think of only about two people who fit into this category. But yeah. I tend not to make fake friendships. If I don't like somebody, I'll make it blatantly obvious to them. Which means, I sometimes run the risk of being rude, in real-life. The people with whom I am friends with over the internet, I talk to because I genuinely like. They may not be completely on my wavelength some of the time, but, I like them. Else, I wouldn't talk to them.

he he... if i didn't have 'friends' online, i'd never have got together with my boyfriend!
just because you can't see the person or physically interact with them, doesn't mean you aren't on the same wavelength.
But also, if you then meet them in person, you could find yourself disappointed by them...
sometimes it's easy to build up a picture of someone online, and then find they are totally different. That's usually if they weren't quite right to start with...
?Sorry, i'm in a rambling mood today...

Yeah... friends online definitely "count" so to speak. The best friends I've ever had I've met online... probably because everyone in my real life town IS AN ASS... eh but thats another story...

its possible, because after all a friend is someone you care about and that cares about you, an opposite to an enemy, i mean i dont personally make friends off the internet that much, i prefer the face to face approach because people may not be who you think they are on the internet...

I have gaming friends, but I do not value them as much as real friends. I mostly have them as it makes the gaming experience more fun for me, aswell as them. Playing by oneself is not nearly as fun as having someone to play with.

I do not trust them with secrets or anything like that, though, as internet friends are not as reliable; if not being with them for quite a time, the interest to hang around with them will die out, and they will find someone else to be with besides oneself. So internet friendships are not so good and long-lasting in my opinion.

Originally Posted by King

I have gaming friends, but I do not value them as much as real friends. I mostly have them as it makes the gaming experience more fun for me, aswell as them. Playing by oneself is not nearly as fun as having someone to play with.

I do not trust them with secrets or anything like that, though, as internet friends are not as reliable; if not being with them for quite a time, the interest to hang around with them will die out, and they will find someone else to be with besides oneself. So internet friendships are not so good and long-lasting in my opinion.
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The people who know my deepest secrets and have my utmost confidence I met online... I have never met them in person, though I have no doubt I could trust them with my very life.

Well, I do reveal some things to internet people that I would not normally do, but not because of friendship. When I reveal something, I do not want anyone that know who I'm to know it.

For example, I would never talk to anyone I know of about dreaming at all; as many of my dreams contain cruelty and violence and lots of people would be afraid of me, thinking I'm a psychopath.

didn't read too many of previous posts ....

Imo a lot of people, like 98% of them, have a totally weird and superficial definition of "friends". Everybody they talk to, everyone they can say "hi" to, is his/her friend ...
I find 98% of friendships I see out there the most untrue thing a human could do to him-/herself ... as it ends in total loss of realizing your own interests, causing interests of yours not to become conscious in your mind, making you - unconsciously - be the way they are (= be the way you are expected to be) - losing to be what you really are .. Imo it is friggin' tough to find one or two TRUE friends in life ...

I am with wombing on that one .... Internet is a good place to find people with your inner style, that are worth it to spend your heart's-warmth on.

I find most people untrue like hell - they just go out, talk - superficially .. under the influence of not being deeply interested in the person they talk to .. and then, they call him/her a friend ... 98% of the people are going the easy way in life - being orientated on what everyone is orientated on - measure yourself by what everybody measures - that way you have the highest chance of being recognized - and isn't that what you want - know everyone and being known by everyone? Yes sure it is - everyone wants to be famous and known - good reputation - because that's the easiest way to live .. no pricks of conscience .. liked by everyone ...
If you open up your heart to everyone you meet, want everyone you meet to be your friend .. trying to avoid fights and being disliked by others - 98% of the people are wasting their warmth of heart - losing relation to themselves ... not even noticing ... today's fake-society makes me sick.