Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Blessings of Ganesh
Daygawn misses you
I float up out of my coffin. I am my physical self and a vampire at the same time. I see Ganesh at the foot of my bed. Standing next to him is Daygawn. Ganesh and Daygawn both have glowing red eyes. Ganesh nods at me. Daygawn speaks to me telepathically, "Tell Raven to stop blocking me from her dreams."
"I don't think she is doing that."
"Yes she is. She's afraid of me."
"Okay, if you say so."
"Hmph! I have been trying to tell you this for awhile, but you keep forgetting!" Daygawn disappears.
Busting Through Barriers
"Ready to bust through some barriers?" Ganesh says.
"Hell, yeah. Where are we going?"
"To your Inner World. Get on my back." Ganesh transforms into an elephant. I get on his back. We shrink down, and go into my sleeping body's third eye. We are flying through Neverwonderland. It's a sunny day. We are flying over the ocean, to a small island with a huge chocolate volcano in the middle, and a pirate ship sitting in a bay. "Hold on!" I grab on something like a bridle, and we fly straight into the side of the volcano. BOOM!
We are inside the volcano. It's hollow. Everything is glowing orange. There is lava underneath us. I feel it's somehow safe. There is a large dark castle sitting on an island of pure rock in the center of the hollow volcano.
"There it is," says Ganesh.
"Is that the same one? Is that my Vampire Dark Castle in the Land of Nod?"
"Yes and no. The one on the Moon is a copy of this, in a way, but whereas that castle is the castle of your Vampire Self, this castle is the castle of your Noble Self, your Whole Self, your Man Self. See, when you were traumatized as a child you buried your castle under the mountain here, not ever wanting to grow up. You developed a Peter Pan complex. Peter is good, he is your Inner Child, but, he ruled your life, because you feared growing up. You thought growing up would destroy you. You believed adults were evil and children were good. But, all of us, we have the capacity for good and evil in us from before we were born. Look, your Noble Self steps out on to the balcony."
A knight in gold and dark matte blue armor with wings on his helmet steps out on to the balcony. He looks at the inside of the mountain. "Still here?" he says in frustration, and walks back inside.
Speak to the Castle!
"Speak to the castle, tell it to rise."
"What is the name of the castle?"
"Castle Dreamnaught."
"Why would I name it that?"
"You imprisoned your Noble Self within it, not allowing that aspect of you to dream much. Now is the time to rename it."
"Castle... Shakyamuni!"
"A fitting name."
"Castle Shakyamuni, I command you to rise!"
There is a rumbling. The rock island rises up, and gets higher and higher. Ganesh lands on top of the castle. The castle grows, and bursts through the chocolate volcano. The rock island grows higher and higher, and the chocolate mountain crumbles. The mountain of earth replaces the chocolate one. Springs of chocolate burst forth from the the mountain and flow down its side, and lava pours out of vents.
The golden knight steps out on to the balcony. "I AM FREE! I AM FREE!" he shouts. He lifts an arm, and an eagle screams and alights on it. The eagle increases in size, and grabs the man around his arms, and flies into the sky. He merges with the eagle, and huge wings eagle wings unfurl from his back. He looks at me with bright blue eyes the color of the sea, and grins at me. He flies into me, and we merge. I feel a surge of energy and power. I feel pure and good. I shoot golden energy at the island, and I make buildings appear, of white marble, gold, and silver. People begin milling about in the buildings.
"Are those people real?"
"Some are, some are DC's," says Ganesh.
"Why have I not cultivated my Inner World, Ganesh?"
"Because you didn't think it was important. But, now seeing Raven's and MoSh's Inner World, and the mirror of the Gohonzon, you have realized the importance of it."
"It always disturbed me that it was so simple, but I could never really verbalize it."
"It wasn't time, O Noble Knight, but now it is. You are merging, all your parts are coming together, your Inner Child, your Beast Self, your Shadow Self, your Masculinity Incarnate, your Noble Self, all becoming one."
"Are there other Selves to me? Is this it? I want to see more. I want all my Selves to be one and together."
The Dungeon
"There are two more. There are Selves, and there are Bodies, but there are two more Selves that you have not seen. This will take courage."
"I have it." Ganesh nods, and puts his hand on my shoulder. We teleport into the dungeon of the castle. "Where the hell are we?"
"You know where we are."
I walk down the corridors. Mice and tarantulas run across the floor. A rat sniffs the air and grimaces at me, his eyes glow red. He becomes large. I realize it's a DC, so I ignore it.
I hear a whimpering. We come to a cell with a someone that is a boy and man at the same time lying on the dirty floor amongst hay. He is covered with lacerations. They look partially cauterized, partially infected. Some of the wounds are oozing pus and thick blood. He looks up at me. "Help me," he whispers. He sounds like he is about to die of thirst. Suddenly, chains on shackles on his wrists and ankles I did not previously see yank him up against the wall. He yelps in pain. A devil-man appears, and whips the wounded man. "That's what you get, you pussy! You weak fool!"
The wounded man-boy whimpers.
"Toughen up! Quit crying, you little baby! You little shit. If you had been a man, this would've never happened! Now, we are going to suffer for eternity!"
I grab the bars to the cell, and rip the doors off its hinges. I absorb the devil-man into me. I give my Wounded Self a hug, and absorb him into me. I collapse on the floor and writhe in agony. I cry convulsively, screaming, "Why? Why? Why?"
"This is your Wounded Self. This is where you have stored all your wounds of the past, O Knight. Wounds of the past, both in this lifetime, and lives prior. Now, be at peace."
I lay on my back, and I silently ask Michael and Metatron to come and help me. They appear in the cell, and do angelic healing on me. I begin to relax. There is a third entity in the room."
"Who is this?"
"This is your Angel Self. He is not really a Self, but more of a clone of you. This is not a Universal Self, which we all have, but an aspect of you that you have created to self-heal."
"Aha!" I stand up, feeling stronger but, still a little sad.
"The sadness will stay with you forever, unless you conciously decide to heal. You must seek healing and happiness, O Knight. Let your Wounded Self be a part of you."
I merge with my Angel Self, and recognize it as a form I take when I wield the sacred caduceus. I feel Metatron place his hands into my back and hold my heart in his hands. Michael forms a golden barrier around us. Gold and white energy flows out of Metatron's hands into my heart, then it fills my body, and flows out of me. Golden orbs sparkle and bounce around inside the shield. The shield forms around my body like a glove. I leave the cell. I hear someone crying, a girl's voice.
I walk down a ways. "Wendy?" I see Wendy in a blue dress sitting on the floor of a cell. Peter Pan is at the bars taunting her. He tosses her some bread crumbs.
"Hey, Wendy, quit crying, you little bitch! Here, eat some bread crumbs like a duck. That's all you deserve. I'll let you out once you quit crying!"
"Hey, Peter, stop that! Why are you being so mean to her?"
"Ask yourself. I am you!"
I absorb Peter Pan into me. I feel playful, silly, and a little confused. I focus my thoughts. "Wendy is my Feminine Self."
"Yes," says Ganesh. "Open her cell."
"Will you save me, O Sir Knight?" Wendy says. I silently nod, and break her cell door off its hinges violently. She recoils in fear. Then, she morphs into a little girl baby, and cries. I pick her up in my arms. Then, she morphs into a mother. She looks like Virgin Mary. There is a baby in her arms. White light flows out of her, and the cell changes. There are plants and animals all around her, and sunlight shines on her. Little children bounce around her with their arms in the air, wanting to be picked up. She picks them up, and hugs them all.
"Aw, she's beautiful," I say.
"She is you," says Ganesh. "We all are."
"What do you mean?"
"You have wondered why other entities have said, 'I am you,' and you thought they were DC's. No, the fact is, We Are All One. Yes, you are Part of The Earth, Mr. POTE, but you are also Part of The Universe. Everyone and everything is Part of the Universe. The more you come together, the more inner peace you have. The more the Parts of the Earth come together, the more Peace on Earth, and the more the Parts of the Universe come together, the more Peace in the Universe."
"Even demons?"
"Yes."
"Like the Dark Crystal."
"An excellent historical flick," Ganesh grins.
I embrace adult Wendy. "I am sorry I imprisoned you."
"I could've left any time, but I thought you hated me."
"I was embarrassed of you. I am sorry. Now, I see how beautiful you are. I am proud that you are part of me."
Wendy cries on my shoulder, and I hold her tighter. "Oh Peter," she says, "I love you."
I kiss Wendy's cheek, and merge with her. I feel kind and whole. I experience a rush of dream emotion: elation, peace, love, purity.
"I feel so strong!"
"You are stronger than you ever have been. You are a Whole Person Now, Mr. Nomad, AKA Timelyst Knight, AKA Juargawn, AKA Soulkyst, AKA Peter Pan, AKA Wendy, AKA Wounded Soldier, AKA N8, AKA Part of the Earth. It is soon time to merge with Malkus, Professor X, your werecat twinner, Mr. Dimensional, and your twinners from many other dimensions, but that is for another dream. Now, alter this dungeon!"
The Knight and the Dragon
I raise my arms. A tornado forms around me, and energy flows out of me. The dungeon's colors change from dark blue and black to white, brown, and many other colors. I transform it into a Dream Museum.
"You will gather artifacts as you travel through time, things you had your hands on in times past, and place them here just as Hawkman does."
I look in a golden framed mirror. I see I look like a Thanagrian, like Hawkman. Then, my armor forms over me coming out of my centipede infinity disk on my chest. I realize it's Witchblade.
"The Museum is empty O Noble Knight, but-"
"What is my Noble Self's name?"
"Lovegawn."
"Well, those days are over."
"Yes."
"I name myself, Daystar, Sun of Gawn, the Shakyamuni Knight!"
"You seize the reins of your own life, Daystar! Come with me!" Ganesh leads me to a large cave. There is a golden dragon sleeping on a pile of Nothing. "Now, O Alchemist, convert Nothing into gold!"
I shoot golden energy out of my hands. The Nothing turns into gold coins. Francois appears and applauds, then disappears. I laugh. The dragon stretches and wakes up. "Ah, now I can sleep so much better, this is comfortable." The dragon goes back to sleep, and wakes up a second later.
"I was sleeping for years with no rest on that pile of Nothing, but I only needed to sleep for a second on that gold, and now I'm so well rested! Thank you, O Sir Knight."
"And who are you?"
"I am your Dragon Self."
"I don't understand, I thought I have met all my Selves."
"Like your Angel Self, I am not a Universal Self, but I am an aspect of you that you have created and stored a certain type of energy in."
"What type of energy?"
The golden dragon grins, stands on his hind legs, and unfurls his wings.
"PURE POWER!" he roars. "POWER PULSING THROUGH ALL PLANES! I AM THE ETERNAL SOUL! I AM THE CHANNEL WHICH CYCLES THE POWER! I AM THE HARBINGER OF LIGHT AND FIRE! I AM POWER INCARNATE!"
The dragon kneels down, and I get on his back. He flies out of the cave, and Ganesh flies with us, a winged elephant. I draw my sword. It's shaped like flames. I shout in exultation, and then I merge with my Dragon Self. I feel extremely powerful. My eyes become blue crystals.
"That's it!" says Ganesh. "You're learning! Now breathe elements!" I breathe fire, then water, then lightning, then wind, then stones, then pure red and white energy. "Now, mix the elements!"
Fire and water: steam. Lightning and water: Pureshock. Wind and Water: Hurricane. Earth and Wind: Tornado.
"That's enough for now, O Dragon. Practice what you have learned." I bow to Ganesh, and he bows back. "You are going to fall into a deeper sleep now. Rest."
I summon a large fluffy cloud, and fall asleep on it.
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