Hmm, that's some pretty great things you noticed. I am also one who likes to understand things and be in control, in a sense. When we say we have something that can explain an experience, we can never really be sure if it's correct for everyone else. It may make perfect sense to us, and even others, but could be wrong in the end. I used to smoke a lot of weed and chased altered states of consciousness all the time, but I've found that that had a negative effect on me, for my age. So I've stopped chasing these everyday and have stopped smoking weed for a while. I'm trying to practice mindfulness and just enjoy the simpler things in life, which is a bit difficult, since when I go outside, I don't see trees and streets, I just see fractal patterns everywhere. In time though, I will start chasing the altered states again until my curiosity is filled, and I have a guess that it's going to be an extreme amount of knowledge and experiences to fill my curiosity. My next lucid I'll try to just notice the sounds and things, my control isn't very great yet. |
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