My guess is that you don't completely trust yourself. Not many people do, from the way I see the world. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't perceive the world as being this great big ball of evil, depression and negativity either. I just believe there is a lot many of us can learn in our lives and hopefully we'll grow and mature for the positive. But back to my point.
If this is the case and you aren't trusting yourself, it can be an awful feeling. But realize one thing- your reaction to this is fear of the worst case scenario. You, on some deep level, KNOW what you truly want to do and don't want to do. You KNOW how you can easily make various decisions in your life. And you KNOW how these decisions can lead to a generally positive or generally negative experience.
Now, taking all of this into account, what will you do? Will you go through with what you already know are bad decisions? Will you cause yourself needless suffering? Or will you spare yourself from this and enjoy your life? The way I see it, your desires and your will aren't entirely rooted in your conscious mind. Sure, emotion and other deep-level indicators of desire often seem to contradict what we consciously want. But those contradictions generally arise when we ignore what we truly want.
You won't make these bad decisions when you're sleepwalking because you don't want to. You perceive it as this thing that you associate fear and dread to. Unless on some deep-level you actually wanted to do it, it just won't happen. It'd be like subconsciously hurting yourself, but to a much greater degree. And if you did want to do this on some deep-level, you'd probably want to tackle your problem from a completely different perspective. At that point, it stops being an issue of free will and starts becoming an issue of your satisfaction with your current lifestyle (and that can always be improved for the better ).
You, on all levels, are in the driver's seat navigating through the infinite decisions on the road of life. I love analogies, metaphors and whatnot...
I'm not an expert on psychology or anything like that. I am only speaking from the experiences I have personally lived through. Maybe this can help in some way.
|
|
Bookmarks