Small mental health problem

Ok. A small problem has come to my attension in recent months. Please excuse me for lack of better words, I don't mean to offend or anything. When I haven't masturbated in a while, I act compleately different than if I just had like. Not just feel tired or any thing, but my behavior is different. The best way to describe it I guess is is sort of a lesser version of bipolar dissorder. Like without I have no trouble talking to people who I don't know and no problem speaking out. However, I think some weird thoughts. Very weird and sexual fetish thoughts, eirlier today I was debating if when I was 18 I wanted to get mtf surgery... Looking back, I was out of my mind.

Opposingly, I am the opposite. I am alot more quiet and tend to stick to the normal. I feel more like romance and whatnot. Like wanting love and love and to be wealthy.

The thing is it is kind of a high when I am in the risk taking stage, but then I fear I will make a bad decision. Maybe it is just because I had masturbated at least once a day for about a year, but it was an immense difference after only four days. So is this normal and I am just not used to it, or what.

Also I am sorry for using the word masturbate. It is a Very ugly word, but I don't know a polite one unless you want me to say hand releif. :)

I don't think wanting to have a sex change has anything to do with not masturbating. That's just some impulsive fetish.

You may have a higher than normal level of testosterone, and hence a higher than normal libido. Masturbation can be a psychological release for pent up sexual energy.

If you suddenly stop for any stretch of time, you'd have a buildup of testosterone with no release. Maybe the testosterone is what is causing you to become extroverted, and reckless ie. risk taking. Do you notice yourself becoming more aggressive? Do you get agitated more easily?

Only one way to test if it's normal or not, start masturbating regularly again and see if things get back to the way they were before. You could be experiencing some type of withdrawal, like smokers or acholics who go cold turkey.

It could also be something like obsessive compulsive disorder. Strange thoughts that seem very weird and unlike what you would normally think, is a sign of it. As is the fear of acting on them, when it is obvious you never would.

I have a rather severe case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. In my case, I find myself repeatedly checking to see if things are off and locked, and avoid anything in groups of two, four, eight, or thirteen. My condition also includes bizarre, disturbing, and intrusive thoughts that will "pop in" and make me feel rather uncomfortable. It's just part of the condition.

The best way to deal with it is to dismiss them as the product of illness they are. Pay less attention to them when it happens. The more you do this, the less I find them occurring.