Thread: I Need to Stop

@Alric: I've been watching straight porn ever since I've been able to yank the old salami, so to speak, and I can safely say that your supposition that watching even straight porn can turn a person gay simply doesn't hold up, as I'm still not the least bit attracted - sexually, anyway - to the male sex. After all, who does a straight man, when watching straight porn, focus on? The female partner. Duh. Don't see how your theory works out, there, buddy.

Originally Posted by ClouD

Basically, I think sexuality is nothing different from can be likened to favouring certain foods...and I've been argued against on that extensively in the past at DV.

Originally Posted by Maeni

You might come to like a certain food that you didn't like before by "training" yourself to like it.

Didn't want to get terribly deep into this discussion, but I have to say that I think that's a rather ridiculous stance on sexuality. There's countless different foods with even more countless different spices and distinct flavors, so of course you'll grow to like things you didn't think you'd like. But there are only two sexes. Doesn't exactly make a great analogy when you compare something with a large index to something with a tiny index. Does not compute.

In fact, if that philosophy were true, do you know whose favor that would work in? Overzealous Catholics who think they can send their gay children to "straight camps" to get straight. That could actually work, if what you're saying is true. Going back to the food analogy...me, I personally hate seafood. The other day, I decided I'd "man-up" and see if my taste buds have "grown into it", so to speak, so I went to a seafood restaurant for lunch. Needless to say, I still find seafood as sickening as ever. So what could possibly make you think that a person will necessarily change their sexual preference if they just "try something new"? Is there ever any such a thing as "knowing what you like and what you don't like, and that's that"? Why's there gotta be that "well, there's always a chance" mentality?

With that out of the way, I'd like to get down to my original intention of addressing the OP (warning - TMI could lie ahead): You shouldn't have to feel that just because you masturbate, you somehow "don't have control" over your actions. I masturbate because I like to do it. If I didn't like it, I wouldn't do it. Simple as that. It doesn't control me, but rather I control it. In the past, I would stay at my grandma's house for weeks at a time, where I couldn't masturbate safely, because someone was always around. What did I do? Stopped. Didn't even "just sneak one in" on the toilet, I just stopped. Of course, that always meant a very miserable couple of weeks, since I was always stressed out with no way to relieve the tension (I haven't yet heard a doctor who said that masturbation wasn't a good way to reduce stress). Needless to say, I would go to town on myself whenever I got back home.

The gist of what I'm trying to say is that masturbation isn't an addiction, in the true sense of the word, and thus doesn't control you as you may think. You're in control. But seeing as how masturbation's really nothing to be ashamed of - regardless of other people's irrelevant opinions that it's "wrong" - I don't really see why else you'd feel you the need to stop. Kind of sounds like an inferiority complex to me; like you feel that masturbation is for the weak, and yet because you do it, you feel you're somehow weak and inferior yourself. If this is the case, I feel sorry for you, and the only (quite unhelpful) thing I can tell you is...don't feel that way. Sorry if I'm not much help.

Originally Posted by Lëzen

Didn't want to get terribly deep into this discussion, but I have to say that I think that's a rather ridiculous stance on sexuality. There's countless different foods with even more countless different spices and distinct flavors, so of course you'll grow to like things you didn't think you'd like. But there are only two sexes. Doesn't exactly make a great analogy when you compare something with a large index to something with a tiny index. Does not compute.

Oi oi, there, I'm sorry.
Although I can't remember why I made that post, I'll try to explain what I meant.
Some monks have trained themselves to not react to pain at all, to the point of being able to burn themselves alive. They have mastered their brains completely, and I believe that if such a monk wanted to, he could probably enjoy the taste of mud or shit. But only because he has wicked control of his own brain like that.
If I really did believe that you could change your own sexuality, I believe I'd have done so by now, considering what my sexuality is

In fact, if that philosophy were true, do you know whose favor that would work in? Overzealous Catholics who think they can send their gay children to "straight camps" to get straight. That could actually work, if what you're saying is true.

Indeed, and that never worked, did it? :p
It only made those gays insecure and what-do-I-know about themselves. The difference is that while one of those lunatic monks could probably make a dramatic change like this, they do it for their own reasons, while the gays were simply being subject to someone elses opinion.
I think I was mostly saying that yes, it's probably possible.
But only if you're like one of those incredibly controlled monks.
And of course, you'd have to want to make the change yourself. However, why a monk wishes to be able to burn alive without wincing, I have absolutely no idea.

...me, I personally hate seafood. The other day, I decided I'd "man-up" and see if my taste buds have "grown into it", so to speak, so I went to a seafood restaurant for lunch. Needless to say, I still find seafood as sickening as ever.

This is different. Trying to see if it changed by performing an experiment is a lot different than taking up the task to change the way your own brain works. And why would you want to do something as dramatic as that, just to like seafood? But I still think you could, assuming of course that you are an insanely focused monk.

So what could possibly make you think that a person will necessarily change their sexual preference if they just "try something new"? Is there ever any such a thing as "knowing what you like and what you don't like, and that's that"? Why's there gotta be that "well, there's always a chance" mentality?

Again, I'm completely with you.
I've been in this boat for a long time, I've tried many things, but most things are just sickening like seafood is for you.

All in all, I think we agree completely. I guess I was just hovering around in the argument that changing these things isn't 100% impossible, just very very hard and near impossible.
Most of us are not monks with complete control over our own brains, so I don't know why I brought up that argument.

Originally Posted by Maeni

Most of us are not monks with complete control over our own brains, so I don't know why I brought up that argument.

You don't have to be a monk. People just do it wrong. The mind works by associating things. In fact most of your preferences are deeply rooted in your childhood; the time in your life where your brain still has no idea what is what. The longer you've been around the harder it is the "change" what has been hard-wired into you previously in some way or another but people can still very easily anchor a certain feeling to a certain action and link it to a different action thus changing their perception of that action or thing or whatever. It's like with Pavlov's dog. I think if you try hard enough, you can teach yourself to like seafood. I remember hating cherry juice, but by mixing it with apple juice, in gradually increasing amounts, I actually like it now.

A friend of mine from high school took it upon himself to masturbate as much as possible in a single day, like a personal contest. I think his record was 10 times in one day. It was funny.

Originally Posted by Caprisun

A friend of mine from high school took it upon himself to masturbate as much as possible in a single day, like a personal contest. I think his record was 10 times in one day. It was funny.

Every time you feel like masturbating do a bunch of push-ups and a bunch of crunches and run a few laps then stretch like yoga. Then make some music or paint a picture or write something creative, be it poetry, a story, or just your thoughts. Inspire yourself. You don't have to have that urge. You can channel it into other things. It depends on how old you are, but don't give it up altogether, cut down on half, then half again, then a half of that, etc... until it is no longer a compulsive act.

You need to channel that restlessness and harness that creative energy.

I guarantee you guys he already failed his own challenge about a week ago. He probably failed it like 3 times in a row and then fell asleep.

LOL!!! I know! We just like to give advice that we try to keep!!!

Originally Posted by Lëzen

Didn't want to get terribly deep into this discussion, but I have to say that I think that's a rather ridiculous stance on sexuality. There's countless different foods with even more countless different spices and distinct flavors, so of course you'll grow to like things you didn't think you'd like. But there are only two sexes. Doesn't exactly make a great analogy when you compare something with a large index to something with a tiny index. Does not compute

But there are so many types of women! Or men. Since I am straight and I am a man, I will use the metaphor of women here. There are Japanese women, there are Latina women, there are Thai women, there are French women, there are Slovenian women, there are Brazilian women, there are women from the Canary Islands, there are French Canadian women, there are Californian women, etc.!!!! Personally, American women aren't that great comparatively. Just like American Food. I mean would you rather go out to eat at the McDonald's or Sushi? (Rhetorical question)

So many different spices and distinct flavors!!!

Originally Posted by Plorp

Also, what foods boost your testosterone levels?

Meat.

Originally Posted by Plorp

Masturbating. I feel like it's getting a little out of hand. I've tried to stop before, and it's extremely difficult. It feels almost like an addiction, to be honest. I'm really tired of having it (or other things sexual in nature) on my mind all the time. Anybody have any advice pertaining to the topic?

Plorp, I'm struggling with the same problem. It is an addiction. Every time i stop i give in like 3 or 4 days later. It's basically like a drug, it releases chemicals in your brain like a narcotic.

The only way I can think of stopping this urge is to stay busy, and to meditate. Or when i get the thoughts of sex/lust period just do some push-ups or something to take my mind off of it. Trust me, temptation is a beast. There are benefits to abstaining from masturbation also, e.b. increased energy, motivation and focus.