Help With Falling Asleep - Again

I know I've asked for a lot of sleep advice in the past, but this time it's serious. My boyfriend and I broke up and I CANNOT sleep without him. So I'm basically a zombie right now. I've been sleeping on my couch for the past 3 weeks, and I can't get to sleep at any sort of decent hour. I basically have to wait until I pass out from absolute exhaustion.

I know all the basic things, valarian root, tea, lavendar, blah, blah. Alcohol and sleeping pills aren't good remedies because I have to work early. Nothing REALLY works.

How do I start to train myself to sleep at a normal time that I choose?

And how do I start sleeping in my bed again? I'm a complete chicken shit. I need a lamp and a TV on to feel ok about closing my eyes. How do I start to go back to sleeping in a bed?

I think I'm broken.

I'm sorry, kichu :( Don't worry it'll get better with time.

If it were me, I'd get some brand new soft sheets for the bed - change it so it doesn't remind you of him. And maybe try snuggling with some extra pillows. If you're generally cold when you try falling asleep, maybe get an electric blanket to make it warm and cozy.

Doing some relaxation, deep breathing, or meditation exercises probably wouldn't hurt - I mean, what have you got to lose besides more sleep?

I hope you feel better soon! :hug:

^^^ The problem is more that I'm just "uncomfortable" sleeping by myself. You know, scared of the dark, boogey man kind of stuff. I know it's childish, but I've been like that my whole life. That's more the issue here. When someone's with me it's completely different. Now I just don't know how to sleep normally. I literally have to pass out because I have no other option. I will never get into bed at 10:30 and say "ok, time for bed" and just go to sleep.

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Originally Posted by Burns

I hope you feel better soon! :hug:
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And thanks.

Oh sorry - I misunderstood.

If leaving the lights on makes you feel more comfortable then just leave them on. Do you ever read while you're laying in bed? I find that makes me very sleepy, and sometimes I will fall asleep with the lights on - then when my hubby comes to bed later he just shuts them off. But it wouldn't hurt for the lights to be on all night if you're alone. Maybe even get a special little bedside 'sleeping lamp' - one that illuminates enough that you're not afraid, but dim enough that it's not like a bright overhead light - maybe use a 3-way dimmer bulb in it so you can make it brighter or dimmer depending on how you're feeling at the time.

I wonder if listening to any calming music would take your mind off being scared. Or if you have a TV in your room, you could set the sleep timer on it so it doesn't stay on all night.

I did a search to see if there were any good threads to reference about this and to see if there were any other good solutions, and I found this one --> http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/inde...howtopic=31791. I don't know it it'll help, but you may find info you can use.

Kichu, feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk - you may still even have my email address too from when I emailed you that cat thing - drop me a line if you want. I'm a good listener and would love to get to know you better and help if I can. Let me know. :hug:

Burns gave some good advice. One of the key things is talking. Just talking to someone willing to listen can help a lot with fear.

Many of us, including Burns, or myself, here are more than happy to listen and help in anyway we can.

Im sorry to hear about your boyfriend, and this may not be fear of Nightterors directly, but more or less a feeling of lonliness or vulnerability.

Feel free to talk about it with the people here, wether it privately in PM or IM, or publically on the board.

Awww.....I love you guys, I will definitely take you up on the offers if I need some support. Thanks for the advice. I actually think I am going to try to have some music on, I used to do that when I was younger, so we'll see how it goes.

PS - it's not that bad, we're still best friends, we've left the door open to the possibility of a relationship down the road (when one of us grows up a little, *cough*), and he spends the night with me once in a while because I'm having so much trouble sleeping by myself - JUST to sleep.

Anyway, thanks again!

On Behalf of everyone, your welcome, and good luck!

Keep us posted! :)

There's always melatonin, give your body clock a good kick start, it could get you back on track.