DXM creates the most amazing, yet inhuman dreams. Last summer I took 15-30mg of it each night before bed along with a bowl of the good herb.
This has no resemblance to the toxic high doses used for tripping. Instead it warms and psychedelizes cannabis nicely, and also has the effect of producing the most colourful yet alien dreams every single night.
I'm about to re-enter the maw of the Beast by resuming the previous 30mg per night DXM microdose in order to once again reach the strange place of the inhuman, brilliant dreams. I am currently on piracetam 4g once every three waking hours all day and once before bed, which iteself improves dream quality enormously.
Here is a log file from June 14 2009, with dosing of either 15mg or 30mg after dark before bed:
microDose DXM: That Night and Next Morning
Due to the unfortunate necessity of recording the experience, the subject could not watch his chosen anime until almost an hour after the peak. Nonetheless, when he did it was absolutely amazing.
The colors were brilliant, much more so than before, the sound was so very much more rich. The intro song was full of emotion, yet the subject did not himself feel excessively emotional.
The plot while convoluted was understandable. There seemed to be only the most minimal impairment of cognitive ability, less even than previous cannabis-alone experiences.
The subject fell to bed about four and a half hours after cannabis dosing. He noted that it took about twice as long to fall asleep as usual.
The dreams this fool experienced were stunningly magnificent beyond all he had had in the last year. Their clarity increased toward the end of the night, with deep color, sound, tons of interaction with people, multiple three-dimensional perspectives.
When he awoke next morn, the subject noted that a clear and high mental and physical energy replaced the usual sluggardly grogginess which typically greeted his tired soul upon abandonment of the bed.
Looking out the window, he noted that (this bright Summer day) the leaves blowing in wind, the faultlessly blue sky, were all of high chromatic saturation yet without excessive edge enhancement, motion-resolution compromise, or other artifact.
Sound was easily heard, also without artifact and present in nominally normal volume.
Appetite was minimal - as it was during the acute phase night previous - which is unusual for cannabis alone which normally causes significant hunger and symptoms of low blood sugar, especially in the acute phase. This alteration indicates that even at a low dose, DXM slightly decreases appetite while also slightly increasing resting metabolic rate.
Therefore the subject concluded that a DXM microdose taken the night previous also mitigated some common next-day cannabis effects.
The next day, June 15 2009, another log file was produced:
The subject returns to report that a second session was engaged the very next day.
The results continued to mimick the first day, including effective cough suppression.
Amazingly, that night the ultradreams came back! The subject can remember every second of both the cannabis experience and the following dreams that evening (dosing only a few hours before bedtime).
The dreams were the most profoundly vivid, functional that the subject has experienced in years. He is amazed beyond all previous experience. The visions, accuracy, and clarity of consciousness, as well as the joy of waking in absolute clarity after these super-dreams, has him salivating for tonight's next big adventure.
Noted in these dreams:
1. Highly saturated colors
2. Extremely detailed three dimensional environments
3. Absolutely real three-D objects
4. Interaction with internally consistent temporally real body position and true physics
The clarity, vivancy, and memory capability seems to be growing by the day, not decreasing. As stated in the original post, the drugs and their doses:
3000mg Piracetam
1/2-2/3 bowl cannabis bud
15mg DXM HBr
few cigs
Furthermore, the next day great motivation, superior clarity and none of the usual fuzziness, tiredness or slight amotivation usually present from previous day's cannabis.
It must be noted that ALL these effects are entirely absent without the 15mg DXM. There is a totally new application of DXM in correct microdose as a true nootropic and potent dream synthesizer.
For the next two months of that summer, 30mg per night before bed was dosed along with the usual bowl-o-bud. The intermodulation produced by combining these agents at night before bed was very significant. As time went on the dreams became more inhuman and began to focus on power that was clearly out of control.
The raging, infernal storm of that power came to a head when dosing was skipped due to an unfortunate incident resulting from the mixing of aniracetam {an NMDA potentiator} with DXM, which even at the low dose resulted in a nasty day-after experience. The exact log of that has been cut except for the dream results.
Kitten Claws
July 14, 2009
The night of the 12th, which was Saturday, was the first night of skippage. That afternoon had been the first hell, and that night was to be revealing.
The usual vivid, often highly tactile dreamtype recurred that night - even without DXM. The last dream of that night was one I had never had in my life. It was not part of the usual dreamcycle of repeat dreams nor was it a legitimate newcomer. I knew that it was a singular occurance, though I don't know why.
I was standing upon some open landscape, staring at something most unusual in front of me. About twenty feet away, and also around twenty feet in total height, was this twisting vortex, or whirlwind of triangular shards. Each with its own color, but they all resembled each other in their reddish non-hues.
In my dreams where there are other people or even strange things I can read their thoughts because I am all of them. I actually have the same dream many times during the dream, and in each I'm a different actor or person.
I couldn't become those strange shards flying around, yet just looking at them it seemed they were partly a part of me, and partly not. It was supremely scary watching them, even though I only did so for a few moments before half-waking.
It wasn't that they were scary or directly threatening. They were moving in a way which was not sane; they were moving and spinning so fast and trying to condense to form something, an object or pattern but never could. Instead they just roared around periodically condensing and shifting.
There was something profoundly abnormal about these shards. Looking at them I became them and felt the utter insanity of their existence. There was an inhuman, yet not alien force moving them, just like a wind stirs paper shreds. I was waving my right arm in the air as if trying to conduct the affair. But I knew that I wasn't controlling that whirling thing out there. It was a vain attempt to contain the horror of its existence, a 'let's pretend' of control which didn't actually exist.
I woke up for a moment very dizzy and a bit afraid, yet soon went back to sleep. Immediately I was treated to a slightly different set of shards (smaller, more rounded) doing the same things. Then I woke completely.
Last night {Monday 13th} I again had vivid but softer (less sharp) dreams. They were more human and had the usual dream-cycle actors. But yet again, the last dream of the night was something shorter yet recognizable.
I was on a boat out on the water at night. Some distant islands stood like dark shadows. I was vagely aware of some other(s) on the boat doing the driving, etc. The boat was soon stopped, and for some reason I wanted to swim so dived off it into the almost-black water.
The water was cold yet not unpleasant. I swam away from the boat wanting to just explore something that I couldn't see or explain. So I swam and the water was almost black but reflected very dark blue so I could just see the foam and ripples on its surface.
I could see the currents and eddies, and the strange semicircular sheens around me that indicated fast currents underneath. I was somewhat scared yet none of these seemed to pull at me during the swimming.
Next thing I knew I looked up and about 40-50 feet away was a group of waterspout things. They were water columns that were actually standing up out of the water, each about 15-20 feet high. There was about 10-12 of them. They were too far away to tell whether hollow water tubes or solid (full of water).
What I felt was almost the same as the previous night's vision. I stopped approaching and watched as several (2-3 at a time) of the spouts fell and became regular underwater funnel-vortexes.
Different sub-groups would unpredictably do this and it was scary to watch. I finally paddled away back toward the boat.
Before I regained sight of the boat however, I came upon a micro-island that could not have been more than a dozen feet wide. It contained a single solid stone staircase without railing, leading up to an open door.
Before I could even think I was walking - dry and clothed - up the stairs and through the door. Inside was a well-appointed section of hallway, or rather the T-shaped meeting of three segments of hall. Before I woke I looked carefully and noticed that it was very much like one I had seen in another vivid dream, except that it was vaguely abnormal. Certain details had been changed. It was twisted. And that was the end: wakeup.
My Interpretation
DXM is a jealous master. Just like the power plants of old, so well described in Carlos Castaneda's books. She deceives, you don't notice her creeping up and soon it is too late. Even in tiny doses, her revenge can be cruel if one turns one's back too quickly.
DXM is also for those who crave power. The power to create whole new worlds. Yet the ultimate price to make those worlds is sanity itself.
As for the two dreams: the first provided a direct vision of the result of DXM's interelation with my consciousness. Those insane shards flying around were an actual visualization of the hiss and roar of a neurostorm happening as the first wave of withdrawal caused increasing over-activation of receptors.
By the second night things had calmed down somewhat. That night's dream found me watching from a further distance, a less direct and threatening manifestation of the same force. This time rather than a fully abnormal form of shards, it could only manipulate that which was already real in the dream - the water. This it did with its emphasis on chaotic process, though the water funnels never changed width or moved.
Yet even as I swam away from them, I was completely entrapped by a more sophisticated trap. This is where I must comment on the insidious nature of the dark agents such as DXM, Datura, PCP and the anticholinergics. For the small island with its staircase was also another mouth of the Beast, though more subtle than the overt demonstration of waterspout and shard-tornado - and before I knew it I was already inside.
Once inside I noticed the slight abnormality of the hallway-junction, which was nicely furnished and looked otherwise appropriate.
For everywhere within that normalcy lurked something misplaced, something not right. Just like the waking hours of the withdrawal, when everything was not right and an undercurrent of terror ran through each perception.
It's so obvious in direct perception yet so hard to describe. For something had set up that hallway as a mockery to my sanity. The exact differences in the many items present was as obvious to my dream-intuition as the abnormal water spout-holes, and the shard-tornado. All shared that horror of something very not-right. Between the edges of the world lurks a maelstrom from which there is no escape. The sweet yet unexplainably sour note marks a door.
Rather than an entity, it is like a shadow which colors the deep underside of everything in both that world and this. It cannot be directly described because it is part of the not-doing which is so much larger than the tiny universe of doing. Instead it lurks, like a tiny water funnel on the surface of an unperturbed lake. Yet if one gets close enough to the maw of the beast, it turns into a sucking, roaring portal to a place much bigger, scarier and chaotic than can be sanely perceived.
Such experiences can never be described other than in material terms, and usually not remembered in anything other than them too. That is because to perceive these things one has to become them: they are what is called state-dependant memories. I would say the concept is too limited: they are in fact state-dependent REALITIES.
It would take health, courage and daring to once again set foot on the edge of that realm. It sucks one in with the promise of ultimate clarity, ultimate power, and total worlds beyond this one.
Yet that realm constantly beckons. Somehow I knew that one day I would dip toes again into that strange realm, because a siren-like voice always kept calling, saying there's something so very interesting to discover. Something left unfinished.
As for the microdose regime, I'll be skipping it for a while (at least some weeks) to carefully monitor biofunction and re-adaptation. I was reminded that playing with fire can get me burned. I was also reminded that the microdose regime was like enjoying the funny sensation of having one's finger just riding on the surface of a spinning chop-saw blade.
That ticklish sensation as tiny layers of skin are removed; a bit of movement, and in a timeless moment the whole finger is gone...
After a year of nonexposure to DXM and a careful rereading, it is obvious that the drug is a harsh taskmaster. At low doses it has potential but is a very jealous agent. Not noted in the logs is that toward the end of the first two months use, tolerance increased rapidly, making the acute effects less noticeable and yet allowing the dream effects to maintain at or even above initial levels, though in a qualitatively eviller way.
The evil of DXM increases with both the dose and the length of time used, with a whiplash crash of retribution occuring on cessation. The power of its jealous rejection ejection can be used as a catapult {orbital sling} into other worlds but as with all high power, hazard exists in direct proportion.
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