Drowning in Mud

Last night I had a dream that I was at a golf course with my friends. In the middle of the course was a huge pool of mud. There was a slide that was going down into it. I felt very depressed throughout this entire dream, and everything seemed to have a dull gray quality to it. (Not black and white, just foggy.) One of my friends went down the slide and into the mud. She jumped back out and climbed up the bank. She tried to convince me to go down, she said it was really fun.

I got on the slide and went down into the mud. Immediately I knew there was something wrong. It was heavy and thick. I couldn't even lift my arms. I started slowly sinking, and finally I drowned. I knew that I was dead.

While I was dead, I didn't wake up. Everything was gray, and I could feel the people above me looking for my body. I recall have a conversation with a voice. I asked 'am I dead?' The voice said yes, and I accepted it without question. I felt my soul looking down upon the rescue efforts. Everyone was wading through the mud trying to find my body. I could tell it had been days since I had sunk. No one was able to find me.

Finally my mother jumped down into the mud and pulled me out. I became alive again, but I still felt empty somehow. I felt as if a part of me was gone forever. I had accepted the fact that I was dead, and now I was alive again. Instead of being happy I felt a terrible pang of loss.

Most of my dreams are a bit dark, but this is the most somber I have had in a while. I know that my subconcious must be trying to tell me something because unlike most dreams, it really affected my mood even after I woke up. It is just hanging at the back of my mind and I can't let it go.