The death of someone close and lucid dreaming...

I've thought about writing this for the last couple of weeks, wondering if anyone had before, but I'll be honest, I didn't even bother searching. I'm so tired from thinking about my mother, who I lost over a month ago... Harsh I know, but what I mean is, since her death, I've thought about how much I loved her, miss her, and how it all went down. Suffice it to say, don't smoke kids!

But the point of this post is wondering if anyone has ever used an LD to talk with a lost loved one. Now I am fully aware and cognizant that should I LD and talk with my "mom," it will only be talking to myself. But at this point, even if she is me, or an extension of my memory of her, I'll take it.

I need to hug her again and kiss her on her cheek. Talk with her. Ask her questions that I either know the answers too or will just make them up in the LD, if only through her voice. I'm sure many here have experienced this kind of loss, whether of a parent or anyone else they adored. This is the first real close \ main character of my life I've lost.

I think it can actual be therapeutic, so that I guess is the point, is it? Has anyone used an LD for this? I'm wondering if its good for coping. But I have to assume it is. I can't hug her anymore or hear her laugh. But in my dreams I can. Maybe even for the rest of my life I'll be able too. I know it can be used as escapism, which isn't good, but at least for now, I think this is an avenue to help me.

For all of us, people who are interested in LDing, it could be such a wonderful thing. Well I'm rambling. And listening to music probably making me more depressed. But my request still stands. Help me folks.

Have I seen those who are dead in the waking life, within my dreams? Yes.

Have I purposefully used my dreams to talk to those who are dead in the waking life? Fraid' not.

It is very possible, though.

However judging by your current state, if you burst into tears during the dream, freak out at the sight of her (she could be all bloody,) or anything of the sort, the lucid dream could morph into a lucid nightmare and you could be stuck with a horrible encounter with your deceased mother. Sorry if I came of a little harsh.

I lost my father to cancer a year ago, when I was 18. I've never thought about him while in an LD, so I haven't had an opportunity to try this. I don't have good control anyway. Maybe it's my mind blocking me from trying to see him in a psuedo-real state because it will not be good for my emotions. Maybe you should consider this as well. If you're particularly clear and present in your LD and interacting with your mother, looking just the way she always looked, and speaking in her voice that is comforting to you, etc. it may not be healthy for your grieving process. In my non-LDs my father appears a lot, in short bursts where he is coming home from a long vacation and I am so excited to see him and hug him and tell him everything he's missed while he's been away. They are very happy, bubbly dreams. No nightmares so far. But I'm not sure if I'm ready for a real-feeling interaction with him yet.

I remember what one month was like, and I know what it's probably like for you right now. It's hard for people who haven't lost a parent before their time to understand. I know it must feel like you'd give anything in the world to just talk to her for one moment, but think first about if an LD situation is really right for you at this stage in grief. It's definitely possible if you're brain doesn't put a mental block on it. Losing a parent can definitely change the way your brain works in a lot of ways.

Stay strong.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother. Losing your loved ones is one of the hardest things, if not the hardest, that we'll go through.

With that said, yes, you can meet people who have passed on in your dreams. I think the real issue is whether you think it will be a positive experience for you or not.

When my father died, A few days later I remembered a dream where we were having a party and he comes. We had a good time and when I woke up, there was tears in my eyes. It is possible to meet deceased family members, but try not to think how they look like in the grave, then it will be a real nightmare.

I think it can be a good method of comfort when you are really hurting, especially if it is relatively close to their death as their memories are very fresh and so the dream will seem quite real.

However, I think if you drag this on too long it will hurt you more than help you, as it will prolong the pain and the time it takes to finally cope. I can feel for you, I have lost loved ones as well. Just hang in there and you will heal over time, don't get lost in the past, as tough as that sounds, and though having lucid dreams about it will help at the moment, it will refresh the pain, loneliness, and sorrow every time you wake up.

Firstly- I agree with you 100%. If I see someone who has passed away in a LD that is NOT them- I am not communicating with a ghost or calling their "spirit." An LD is something that happens inside my own head, and does not involve projecting or accepting any sort of cooky metaphysical "signals" or "energy" or "vibrations."

That said...I have summoned up my younger brother into my dreams, and we lost him about a year ago. For me the experience is hit or miss. If I am aware of the fact that he is actually dead, then the dream becomes bittersweet at best. But on the occasions where he appears and I don't remember that he's dead he's just another DC, albeit with his own personality as I remember it, and after the fact I can enjoy it as a glimpse backwards, and something cool.

I've dreamt about anyone that was close to me and died very soon after their death. Never lucid though. I'm really not very good at bring in other people in my lucids.

The majority of the dreams I had were very peaceful and full of closure. I've been able to hug and hold and say goodbye to at least two lost loved ones in a dream. But, when someone passed that I was close to, but I didn't have a very good relationship with, my dream with them was very negative.

I can say that you can actually summon and have a conversation with people that you have lost. Whether or not it is actually some kind of true communication is debatable and I do not lean one way or another. I have recently had a couple of conversations with my step dad who died 6 years ago and he is exactly as I remember him, joking, laughing and all... even joking about the fact that he is dead.. I do personally feel like this could be a very very helpful experience for someone who has lost a loved one. I would say to try it, and expect the best. If you let the people here tell you that its going to be a horrible experience and you expect that, you best believe thats what it will be. Expect the best of your experience and you will get a great experience. Enjoy the time with your mother. We are all sorry for your loss.

I did talk to my dead grandfather, one month after he died, it started as a regular lucid dream, I opened a door and he was standing their, and actually had a decent conversation with him. We talked about his resentments to my mother, and how he did actually love her very intriguing. Was it just my mind telling me to put me at ease, most likely, was it beyond uplifting, certainty was!