Sadness when you become lucid

This is my first post here, I'll post an introduction somewhere later, but I had to ask this question first.

All the lucid dreaming sites that I've been on emphasize the ecstacy that arises when you gain lucidity, presumably because you are suddenly aware of the complete freedom you have, but I don't remember having ever experienced this. I haven't had many, but my best lucid dream is as follows:

I'm really into Japan. I've never been there but I'm crazy about the country and have been for a couple of years. It was about a year ago that I had this dream. About an hour before going to bed I'd been reading up on traditional Japanese hotels and fantasizing, but I didn't think anything of it when I went to bed.
In my dream, I found myself in one of these hotels. It was like a dream come true. I was walking around the place with my parents. I checked out my room, with the bed all laid out. I remember changing into slippers to walk around and thinking about what breakfast would be like the following morning. Then I took a walk outside in the garden. It was huge. There was a thin path surrounded by grass as high as my waist that led down to a hot spring. I saw some people bathing in it and was eyeing up the pretty girls. Then I walked back. I'd never felt at such peace. I never have since. It was like heaven. It felt like it was never going to end. I then realised my parents hadn't properly booked the room, so they did that and I waited in the reception area.
I remember the thoughts that came into my head. First I thought about going down town in the evening, then I thought "Wait a second....how did I get here?". I was confused. I tried to remember the flight over, then I realised I couldn't. There wasn't one. Then it hit me - this was a dream.

The disappointment! My God! My vision went blurry and I soon woke up. But it was horrible. It was like being taken away from paradise.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Have the veterans here had more of that type of feeling or more feelings of ecstacy upon becoming lucid? Is there anything that can be done about it?

Thanks a lot for reading. I'm glad I found this site. It seems top quality. :wink:

ah, doing what you always wanted to do thinking it's RL, then suddenly realizing it's a dream. I see your point.
I usually get the dissappointment after I wake up, not while in the dream.

I think what you usually happens is, you're in a dream, you become lucid, and you start doing that thing you always wanted to do in RL. Even though you know it's a dream, but who cares .. it feels just like RL.

Maybe you should try going to that place in your next LD, and see how that feels.

Actually, my first LD (I've only had two LDs since reading about LDing, although I had 2 other LDs when I was a child, but I didn't think about controlling them), anyway, what was I saying, my first LD happened when I was at the place I always wanted to be, but then I realised this was a dream, so the first thing I did was go outside and jump really high (i.e. fly) and it worked! I flied! Then I woke up few secs later. (maybe I was too excited).

Hey Shazbut nice to meet you. Welcome to DV
I think you are onto something. If you study and research all the places around the world you want to travel, you can dream about it. I have felt that disapointment too. It's like the opposite effect of realizing a nightmare is a dream.

Im obsessed with Japan too. I think it would be great to visit there in a dream. But I think I would feel somewhat of dissapointment because its not real. Its just a automatic feeling, as you feel exitment when you notice you are Lucid, or you find out some thing good has happened. Just dont think of it as some thing bad, like Electron said, try to go back there and see how it feels, Im sure the feeling will be different when you know before hand that its a dream. Oh and welcome. :mrgreen:

First I’d like to welcome you to DV. ^_^ I’m also very taken with Japan and in fact I’m studying the language and culture right now.

I wanted to reply to this sooner, but I wasn’t sure how to word my thoughts. There have been many times when I thought reality was the dream I was standing in. Sometimes I would see important things, like my grandmother who passed away a few years ago. It would be her. Her smell, her touch, her voice. Thus, the ecstasy.

Sometimes, I would see silly things, like a cool new outfit, or winning the lottery and never having to worry about where my next meal would come from (ok, that one isn't so silly). Again, the ecstasy.

Either way, I cannot express the sadness and disappointment one feels upon waking up and realizing that it was all just a dream. You feel almost empty inside. Your description hit me hard… it really is like being taken away from paradise.

To answer your question, hon: you’re not alone. *hugs*

I have had dreams like that with Japan a lot. I really want to go and am in Spring Break 2006. I have already prepaid for my trip so it is all done with. I am pretty good with Japanese and could get around in Japan if I needed to, which I will. I have felt a sadness about it for years that I was never actually there. Most of my dreams are LD's so I had to feel the pain a lot. I finally realized that it was pointless being sad about it and cherished the LD's about Japan that I had and have today.

Many people feel differently about LD's. I just hope that I can make as many people happy with LDing as I can. The happier you are the better I feel knowing that you get the most out of your LD's. I know i'm altruistic, but oh well.

Cherish what dreams you have. You may not be able to remember them for long. You can do so many amazing things in LD's that are still beyond me. Don't give up on them because it is important to be aware that LDing is there.

Hope you find peace in your dreams,

Yume Kotoarashiku

Wow! Thanks for all the replies. I didn't know there were others here who were into Japan either. If you don't mind, I'll probably PM some of you sometime about it.

Yume, where are you going? I was thinking of Sapporo in Hokkaido. I want to catch the Snow Festival in February. I've seen pictures and they look like they've come straight out of a dream themselves.

I'll try what Electron and Symphonia were saying, that I should try and get there again in a dream. I'll try and train myself to become lucid as soon as I see something faintly Japanese, then hopefully I won't get my hopes built up high only to become dashed on the rocks of reality. I think you're right, that's what it is, that I didn't become lucid soon enough and was becoming more and more convinced that my inner peace was real.

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Originally posted by NirvanaStarseed
\"It's like the opposite effect of realizing a nightmare is a dream.\"[/b]

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Yeah! Exactly!

Lost Soul: - It always amazes me just how much sensory perception you can have in a dream. Like you said, even smells can be remembered. You sound like you've certainly experienced what I was talking about. Gotta take the good with the bad I guess.

Thanks for the welcomes! I can see I'm gonna like it here :D

Yeah. Of course Yume, your name means dream in japanese, heh. Good luck Shaz. Yeah, I hate it when I get my hopes built up, then it doesent happen.

Mata ome-ni-kakarete ureshii desu! :mrgreen:

Shazbut, I love lucid dreaming and put it on an extremely high pedestal, but my second one ever was just like what you described. I know why.

I was about five when I became extremely obsessed with the idea of flying under my own power. I thought about it constantly and was always trying to invent ways to make it happen. One day I decided that if I could dream and know that I was dreaming, I could have the flying experience. I had my first lucid dream when I was five (but not my first lasting, controlled one until I was 32). I was walking on a high story of a tall building, by a window. I realized, for some reason, that I was dreaming, so I decided to fly. I immediately woke up and was pissed. When I was eight, I dreamed I was skating at the roller rink I often went to on weekends. Being there represented, among other things, not having to be at school. As I was skating, I heard my mother's voice come on the intercom and tell me that I needed to get up and go to school. I was baffled for a moment, but then I realized that I was dreaming. Then I realized that it was a school morning and I had to get out of bed soon (I am NOT a morning person). I felt blood boiling disappointment and came out of the dream. I later looked back on the moment and realized that I had had a lucid dream and was so focussed on the disappointing aspect of the situation that I completely overlooked the golden opportunity I had. Lucid dreaming was a much bigger goal of mine than going to the regular skating rink on the weekend. My mother's wake up style was like a snooze button. She had made her first announcement that I needed to start getting up, but I had about another ten minutes before she was to come back and say something again. I should have realized that even though it was a school morning, I was in a lucid dream and that it was my big chance to do some interesting stuff I had always wanted to do, particularly flying.

So the next time you think you are in Japan but realize you are dreaming, just tell yourself that you have spent your whole life outside of Japan and can go later, but that this is your chance to have one of your first lucid dreams. It would be interesting to explore a dream world version of Japan a bunch of times before you go to the one in the waking world.

I'm pretty sure everyone's had that experience. I remember having that experience... but I can't remember the dream... if only I could remember >.< oh well... I value the experience more anyways... the feeling... of what it could've been if the dream was real. Heh, I guess I tend to think of the negative sometimes... but other times... I tend to think on the positive. Anyhow... the feeling of peace... I think I recognize it. I've told this dream in my introduction(yes your not alone... I'm new too) I think I should tell it here too... been a while though so I can't exactly remember it.

Ok... I can't remember how it started off, but I was at school... and the building wasn't the regular school building... it was apartment like. Anyhow... I was outside during P.E. playing volleyball... or maybe middleball(not sure if that's a known sport but it's a sport we played in my school) anyhow we were done... and we were suppose to alternate classes or something(kind of... like... what I do now... in summer school... o.O was that some sort of prediction or something?)... and so I was going to go to english class. I had to enter the building... anyhow... I didn't know what classroom it was. It started to rain(it was dark throughout the entire dream).

I couldn't find my way... and I remember trying to look the classroom number on the list... to see what room it was(like I said it was sort of like an apartment). Even though that didn't help... I couldn't find it... and I can't remember the dream very well... but for some reason I kept feeling dark and down... and felt as if I wasn't alone. Now I end up meeting a priest(weird I know... lol) and I ask him where my classroom is... he tells me he'll show me... and so I enter his room... and I eventually find out that his daughter had died... and he's keeping the corpse inside a bag underneath his bed. He started talking about how your suppose to watch out in life and prevent trouble... or... well... anyhow... I was freaked out by the fact of the daughter... I for some reason got near the bag... and opened it... think it was priest's orders... then he started praying... I just got out of the room. I for some reason felt like I didn't know where I was... I knew I was at school... but where in school.

I got onto an elevator... or was I running up the stairs... well point is all of the sudden the feeling of the presence strengthened. I felt like I wasn't alone... and already felt as if I knew what it was... a demon... or a ghost... I ran but then... the apartment all of the sudden changed a little. Normally it was suppose to be that it had things... like... what are they called... catwalks?... anyhow... now it was closed and it had halls instead... now it was dark... the lights were off... it felt so real... and the presence was there... and I think... even though I don't remember... I think it did talk and say stuff to me... telling me as if I had done something really bad... I just kept running... but the presence just kept getting closer... I kept getting lost... inside the darkness of the building... walking along side the wall... and then there was a point when the presence finally appeared but I can't remember... and I think that was the point where it started to be really angry... I finally found the room and entered... now... so far this was a nightmare... but then... I entered the room... I felt secured... the room was all bright... the lights... so wonderful... the sky never cleared... but still felt peaceful.

I wasn't alone either my classmates and teacher were there... and all of those thoughts about the presence just washed off. I felt at complete peace... and extremely strong peace and encouragement. The peace was such... a.... a great feeling... I can't stop forgetting about it... and then when I woke up... I didn't feel disappointed... I still felt the peace within me... and I knew I would forever remember that peaceful feeling... the teacher was there... students were there... I didn't feel alone at all... I felt hopeful... ah I can't forget it. Nevertheless I can't forget the fear either... it was a freaky yet wonderful nightmare(never though I'd say that)... so just remember... now that you've encountered a peaceful feeling... keep in mind it will always be with you, maybe you could use it when your feeling down in the dumps too.

wow... after writing about how much I was afraid... all of those emotions where already starting to form in my mind... heh... but now it's gone... now that I've written the part about the piece... ah I feel inspired

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Originally posted by Shazbut+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Shazbut)</div>

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Wow! Thanks for all the replies. I didn't know there were others here who were into Japan either. If you don't mind, I'll probably PM some of you sometime about it.[/b]

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Please do! :)

<!--QuoteBegin-Shazbut
Lost Soul: *- *It always amazes me just how much sensory perception you can have in a dream. Like you said, even smells can be remembered. You sound like you've certainly experienced what I was talking about. Gotta take the good with the bad I guess.

Thanks for the welcomes! I can see I'm gonna like it here *:D

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Yeah, there can't be good without bad. But either way, I think it's all a big learning experience. If you have any questions, or just want to talk to someone, please feel free to give me a PM.

And you're very welcome!