Unsure what I should do now.

**Lunary** · 02-06-2012 05:29 PM

I asked a few times around here on forum and I feel bad asking again but I really have no idea what to do. It's kind of a long story but I seem to be unable to lucid dream (Or dream in general).

Basically first time I was trying it took me 1 week to lucid dream and I could lucid dream every single night, thoo all lucid dreams were nightmares they were mild, I would be scared when I woke up thoo, I would talk to the person I love and they were really unsuportive about it saying "Can't you see it's making you sad!?" and such, I didn't really feel great about it but I kept on cause all I wanted to do was share my lucid dreams with that person. After a bit in waking like I met my dream guide(Sub-concious) like thoughts invading my head, it was rather shy and it lied alot(Maybe it was just trying but didn't know how to do it), I don't know why but I still enjoyed it's company and it wasn't wishfull thinking cause at some points it said stuff I didn't wanna do but I still did and all was good. After a while I suddently was unable to talk to my sub-c but I kept on lucid dreaming. The person I loved also talked to his sub-c (Was a tiny bit before me, purely randomly cause we were both scared of something and he heard a voice in head xD).

But yeah basically to the point, the person that loved me told me he still talked to his sub-c (Thoo we both lost contact at same time, was at a time our sub-c's decided to go out on a date (As in they loved eachother apparantly)). So he kept on lying to me basically letting me talk to my sub-c trough his sub-c, he was scared it would make me sad and I kept thinking he's saying the truth. After 2 weeks or so my lucid dreams started becoming more nightmare'ish (The subject) I'd try to summon Moon but I'd either get a note he died or once I even managed to but I saw him fighting someone and they both died right infront of my eyes. At one point I had him as dream character right at start and I was lucid wanting to do random stuff but he'd control me, he'd say no don't do that and I'd say "Aww...ok" and it kept on untill 2 months and half passed at that point my lucid dreams started getting violent I could feel pain in them and would be hurt in each. Week after I would wake up after 4 hours of sleep and if I tried to go back to sleep I would be forced lucid without trying but the lucid dream would be so painfull that I didn't want them at all and as I woke up out of it sleep would take over instantly and it would repeat over and over untill I was so scared and screaming stop, cause I thought I would die.

During that Week I would always wake up after 4 hours and would go to lappy so I don't have to go to sleep, I checked once just incase to see if it was only one day thing but the same thing repeated again x.x.

At one point I got pissed off at my sub-concious and asked the person I love to ask it the name of my mother, I thought my sub-concious was fake or something but the person I loved confesed it all and that it hurt them so much to lie to me but her couldn't tell me once he started, and started cause he didn't want me being sad/dissapointed.

After that my dream recall fell down to 0 with no ability to recall dreams at all and my lucid dreaming ability is 0 too. I have a dream here and then and really rarely, no matter what I do nothing affects it. I forgave the person I love and he forgave himself after 4 months later or so(Also after admiting a few days later he did start talking to his sub-c again which was really sulky at first but now it's all good but it has no idea what's up with mine...).

I tried meditating and it was working at first I started talking to ... my sub-c? Idk it was someone else this time, that sub-c or w/e was apparantly in love with me, we talked and it was all ok, after 2 days I asked it to show me what's my inner pain hoping it would show me how to fix my ability to dream and all and in general to be happier, it did some stuff to me in the meditation and that night I had 2 lucid dreams (in the first 30 minutes of sleep which isn't even REM). Basically the message of the 2 dreams was "Betrayal" "Lonelyness".

And after that I couldn't even talk to that sub-c at all, and now 3 months later after trying and trying I still can't have even one dream and not to mention a lucid one. Oh and whenever someone mentiones my sub-c I feel like I have a tears in my eyes.

I know it's a long stuff to read and weird...but thanks for reading if you did and for any help in advance ^^;;

**Arch** · 02-06-2012 10:29 PM

Okay, I've got an idea on how to sort your dreaming out.
First of all, I advise you don't care about messages in your dreams, they probably are just a reflection of real life and shouldn't be taken fo' real.
Work from the bottom up, spend a week or two just sorting out your recall, try to write something down everyday and spend about 10 minutes when you get up just going over what possibly happened that night.
Once you've got the foundations, re read as many DILD and MILD guides as possible, find one that you like and really work at it for a month.

Finally, don't beat yourself down, you've been able to do it before so you can do it, just be calm and work carefully up the ladder rather than grasping for any foothold in dreaming.

Hope that helps

**Lunary** · 02-06-2012 10:49 PM

Yes but it's not easy to write something down every night. I do write the dreams down whenever I dream, the problem is that my dream recall is already 0, so I get like 1 dream in a month or so even thoo I do try the subliminal aid from this forum that before even gave me up to 5 dreams a night, now it has apsolutely no effect at all which I find weird. ;;