Seeking advice - something is actively preventing me from gaining control of my dreams!
I've been hesitant about starting this thread. Unsure exactly why. But I decided tonight to bite the bullet here.
Background on me... Well read dreamer, faithfully recording dreams in my Dream Journal, have not been lucid since my last lucid dream when a vine tried to attack me through a window. It was worse than it sounds, trust me.
I have an astigmatism (one eyeball is slightly squished) in one of my eyes and this had a strange effect on my dreams. During lucidity they became super detailed, as if I put glasses on, normal dreams looked like real life does to me without glasses. Not horribly bad or anything, just slightly blurred and not very detailed.
Something changed and all my dreams have, since the change, been as detailed as my lucid dreams. There is now little or no change in detail when I am lucid.
I meditate most every day, two times a day usually. I used to exercise 2 or 3 times a week but due to circumstances in my life I have not been doing that as much. Been working outside though and riding my bike a few times a week.
No major changes in diet, I don't smoke, not a drinker, no drugs - nothing like that. No computer/TV stimulus before bed.
I have set intentions for knowing when I am dreaming and controlling my dreams, and have been dealing with any Aspects of Self harboring any interfering belief, setting intentions for this as well. Recently I have successfully projected out of my body and have done so a few other times since. Going to start meditating before bed per a suggestion from a user and friend here.
For some time now I have been experiencing deja-vu in my dreams. I have also successful re-entered one dream with some shamanic drumming, and have been training myself to look at my hands in my dreams. I have signs up I look at which, wherever I see them, I look at my hands and ask myself, "Is this a dream? Am I dreaming?" In fact my last periods of lucidity were gained by looking at my hands.
There are other strange factors in my dreaming. I rarely, if ever, see any kind of clock or timepiece. I think I saw in a dream not long ago a digital clock. That is the only time I can recall.
To begin lucid dreaming I used Dream Signs. For me these were common places I went to in my dreams, where I used to live as a child. Something changed, and all of a sudden I was not seeing anything familiar or repetitive I could use to gain lucidity. Then I could use looking at my hands, but something changed yet again and I could no longer use this. I got a glimpse of the active interference when I saw my hands once in a dream a month or so ago. They were holding something, I only glimpsed them for a moment, not enough to register.
So something is actively blocking me from gaining lucidity, disguising the things I have trained myself to use, altering the nature of my dreams beyond how they are supposed to run just so I can't become lucid. The most obvious answer, and to my belief the most obvious red herring, is simple fear from when the vine attacked. But recall I was getting interference before that happened. To my mind that was just another facet of my attacker.
Your next guess is that it's me. That on some deep level I am harboring some sort of interfering belief or fear, based in childhood more than likely, that is causing this. I doubt this is true because it would also block my ability to astral project.
I am more inclined to believe that there is some outside force blocking me. As to why I do not know. I do know it took me a long time before I could astral project, and I had some bad experiences, more than likely on the lower astral planes, as a child.
So I'm just looking for advice here. If perhaps there is some entity blocking me, how do I counter it? If it is a hidden fear or interfering belief, how do I expose it? What can I do to gain full and complete control of my dreams?
Your advice and help is very much appreciated!
- DreamBliss
