New. In desperate need of help

I am 23, have felt as if I have lived a thousand lives, experienced more than an average soul can handle. I wont tire your eyes with a drawn out love story or a face that I cant put my finger on. This is a matter of fear, of sanity. *Before I scare anyone away I will start with the 2 dreams from the last few days... ~~~~ First one, I am with my ex (dated 3 years and cheated on) and shes crying and packing up things and my mother is screaming "get her the fuck out", and see the girl I cheated on her with, walking away from my house in the front yard. I ran after her and begged her to stay. And she said "you know after what I have seen, I could never see you again" heartbroken, I realize I am dreaming because Its been 1.5 year since I put a nasty wedge in my exs relationship and 6 months since the girl I gave it all up for, naturally there was no logic behind them both being in the same house at this point in time, my ex is 8 months pregnant with the new guys baby and they each moved to opposite states (both from maryland, ex to wv, other to pa). I wake up and grabbed my phone to text the girl I gave it all up for, and ask her if she remembers her dream at all. I laid and waited for a response, and then realized I dont have her number anymore, and therefore must still be dreaming. This continued for what seemed like an hour of waking up and knowing I am dreaming. I finally woke and grabbed my phone and started sifting through contacts for the missing "Taylor", and at last, I was awake. Would you be relieved? Because I was utterly terrified for my sanity. I told some friends, no one wanted to listen... Then the next day I become aware while standing in my kitchen, because all of the clocks are flashing "10:22", im admiring the new samsung stove I just purchased and am reading the features near the LCD display, then suddenly a downward roaring noise. Like a rocket just flew by. As I hear this, the dream gets dim and all of the lights/clocks in my kitchen dim to off. POP. Awake, in my bed, I think to myself "how oddly detailed of a dream, down to the stainless steels grainy reflection on the glass" and slowly fall back asleep. Awoke 2 hours later to find my heat was off, computer was off, and all clockes in the house were reset and flashing. If it werent for these two recent dreams, I would continue to be a casual lurking on this forum but now, I need your help. Dreaming use to be fun. I never controlled my dreams, always saw beautiful faces, voices, ideas, that woke me in wonder. Now, its fear. Do I have anyones attention?

I was so relieved that all the girl drama was just a meaningless dream, untill I got on my facebook and saw a message from the girl Id do it all over again for, and she said "take care of yourself", after not talking to her for 6 months.. I replied "its easier to care for an angel than a puppet." went on with my day.. And then at 3am I get a message. "Taylor :
I really hope you're alright. I dont feel as though i'm ever going to cross paths with you again, but I am at peace with you forever, your the first, remember that, no matter how much u may not ever want to believe it."

Moved to Dream Interpretation.

Edit: Re-read your post several times just to make sure, and I think you're problem is indeed like JoannaB said a issue with your irl concerns being reflected in your dreams. But as you are lucid, you got the will and ability to change the scenario (not just physically) in order to get rid of these negative "manifestations" .

I suggest you to give an extra effort on awareness while lucid, which possibly can give you a better sense of control. Emotivity, even while lucid, can lead to undesired results :)

Moving this back to General Lucid Discussion, makes more sense to be there as your issues goes around lucidity :)

Hello and Welcome to DV! Do use this opportunity to browse through different threads and read about other people's experiences. What you will notice by reading other people's experiences and dream journals is that life is not just black or white. What I mean is, we all experience good and bad dreams, some people have a tendency for one or the other, but there are always exceptions. I know that after a very vivid and stressful dream we can all feel distressed, and even worry that this is affecting our real life. This has happened to myself and to people I know. But after the rain comes sun. :shadewink:

The average 20 year old person has spent 7300 nights asleep, having an average of 3 dream per night (I made the 3 number up), that makes 21900 dreams, which is probably more than the events we go through life or at least as many events. Some of these will be positive, some negative, this is life after all.

The thing to do when you have a bad dream is not to let it ruin your day, for one thing. There is also something else to consider, the feelings we left behind. It is highly advisable to review in a calm state of mind events that you have been through and understand feelings that are involved. Sometimes we forget what we have been through, but buried memories re-emerge in dreams creating all kinds of pleasant and unpleasant scenarios. As long as you are clear about your own experiences and at peace with yourself, there will be nothing to be worried about. :)

Thanks for the kind words. I have been reading a lot and I just find the power flash corresponding with reality to be odd. Perhaps this was accidental astral travel? I am not experienced in these states in my mind yet.

Hmmm, if there was a power cut in real life while you were sleeping, some appliances may have made some noise when this happened, and this in turn could have been reintegrated in your dream? As for astral travel, anything is possible so it is really up to the person to know, usually when you get lots of dreaming experiences you could tell with some certainty and classify it as for example false awakening, OBE/WILD/astral travel etc.

Just try to be more relaxed about it at any rate, it might be a good idea to keep a journal of such things and dreams in general and be investigative about it. You can track your progress and teach yourself to overcome problems more easily. For example: Journal entry - had a nightmare about..., analysis, why this thing, does it relate to real life problems or it's just a nightmare (say zombies etc.); what to do next time - repeat to myself "I am confident, I am not afraid of .../I am relaxed/happy, etc. This way you will gain some confidence and more control over the situation :)

unlikely it was astral travel. i'm thinking that you simply dreamed of them - thought about these people you were so closely connected to for so long and it pulled on their strings. we're all connected on some level, but people you've been emotionally close to will have stronger ties to you. your dreams and subsequent wondering about them tugged them and made them think about you, thereby messaging you.

as for the blinking clocks, our minds do strange things with time in dreams. its possible that you heard/saw something while asleep that while awake you would have known would blow your power out. this was pulled over into your dream state. it happens quite frequently really.

At least thats how i would have made sense of all that if i had had those dreams - take what you will from it :P

the way you tell this story is kind of confusing. you said it was over the course of a few different night right? but the way it reads it could all be one long dream.

I think you have frightening bad dreams because you are feeling fear and other negative emotions at this time in your waking life. Dreams do not cause fear and negativity, they reflect it like a mirror, when the feelings are already there. You have to work on reducing the negative emotions in waking life, and then your dream life will go back to being fun and relaxing and beautiful.

Edit: In addition, since you were aware that these were dreams, you were lucid. I know you said that you do not usually approach lucid dreams with trying to control them. However, when dreams get that negative and you are out of control in your own dreams emotionally, when you are aware that it is a dream, strive to take control and change the dreams for the better. This site has tons of good advice on how to improve dream control in lucid dreams in tutorials. I would strongly advise you to try that. It is ok to not try to control lucid dreams if they are fun and peaceful, but if they fill you with fear, then it is time to take more conscious control and turn them around. A lucid dreamer has the option to turn nightmares into fun.

Great explainations, appreciate all the insight. I write down things that happened, landscape, people, dialogue after I wake up from a lucid dream, and It always continues to get until I decide to stop it.. I will start documenting on DV, will surely be filled with mental images that make sleeping troublesome in the firat place.

Very inspiring joanab. My only minir objection is that my waking life, I take complete control, its almost like I cant catch a break, you know what I mean? I am supported by loving, intelligent friends and family, but regardless of my mental/physical/financial standpoint, everyone looks to me or advice, opinion, common sense, questions of morality. Every since I was a child I felt like everyone in my dreams was hoping I could save them. Are you suggesting it is I that needs saving in this mirror philosophy? Is this when I get reminded about Jesus? Hate to sound negative if I am. All that I can say to jusitfy it if any justification is aloud, is I have a fear that may or may not be common in society. Does anyone else feel like a wolf in sheeps clothing in their waking life? Of course, ultimately: I will have to save myself. Which doesnt help the question many others including my conscious self asks, is it possible that the clever creator has disguised his second coming son, and is throwing him hints in dreams and waking life that outline an overwelming sense of importance for a middle-claas 23 year old..

Please excuse the barraige of typos, my iphone touchscreen stopped coopperating recently. By the way, the dreams were one night apart. I was stil in mental distress from the first dream the entire day before the following.

My question is: does anyone else feel like or has heard of a person who is constantly asked by loved ones durinf times of amazement "who are you?" or I will say something like "wait if youre you an hes him, WHO AM I?" instead of the usual laughs from my wild imagination, I am always hit with a serious note. "thats what ive been trying to put my finger in my entire life" , "thats what Im wondering", "i know you have a plan", "whats your plan", and I can give a heartfelt plea to the dream community and those of you who has already held tremendously; I thought I was an ignorant child growing up, and now feel passed point of illuminated. Burdened with mire knowledge than I ever wanted. Just like the matrix says "ignorance is bliss"

If you are required to be in control all the time in waking life, that's rough: it is very difficult to always be the one expected by everyone to be in control, everyone including yourself. That could lead to stress which may result in emotional out of control dreams because in dreams is the only time when you allow yourself to not be in complete control. So maybe this is like rebound from too much control to out of control? Everyone needs a break from time to time to help us relax and to remain sane. So if you can't take a break in waking life that may be a large part of the problem.

In response to the religious aspect of your comment. This reminds me of the story of a man who was at see drowning, and he called to God for help, and a ship came by and they tried to fish him out, but he refused because God would save him. Then a log floated by, but he did not grab and hold on to it because God would save him. Then a helicopter flew by and asked whether he needs help, but he waved them off. So when he drowned and died, he asked God why he did not save him since he had such faith. And in this story God answered: I sent you a ship, a log, and a helicopter, but you refused my help.

With no master plan of good or evil, and no idea why everyone thinks there is more to me, how can I focus on personal emotional balance? "I must admit Im a little bit confused, some times it feels as though, Im just being used". My biggest fear is having a realistic plan, because that isnt me. If I plotted something or was capable of something, I feel as though the average observer is not. So what does that make me? My rage comes out moments before horrific incidents occur in our homeland, to the extent that I find myself battling evil in my mind and fall asleep angry. When I wake up, some tragety or event always takes place. We are all one, spiritually, but many of us are not connected, so we find ourselves playing tunes for our perception, which is not one. Am I just one undiagnosed narcissist? Surely, if this complexity has you asking yourself "I cannot help", but that is why I am seeking help with an experienced community, and not a doctor that cant return a phone call. Life savers, all of you. With each word that comes to your mind. Help me realize that I am neither christ nor the antichrist. That balance is a metaphor for inner battles of morality.. That good will always triumph evil, in the perfectly balanced life we have adapted to.

JoannaB, another touching metaphorical story that got right to the point. You are very helpful. God reaching a 4th dimensional arm might be a little imposing, but so are buzzing sounds everytime a clock turns to 10:22. Lol. I was raised on religion and lost faith, I now know there is a very powerful God, and while the antichrist may not realize he is fulfilling the role for the book, you cant help but feel sorry for the puppets that understand the stories purpose, but must be used for physical emphasis so that religion as a society does not fail/collapse.

Some people seek conspiracy theories. I hear systematic "marraige support support your country marraige marraige country support your country" and the moment I tell a friend, off in the distance a helicopter approached. Walk outside to find a black unmarked medium sized helicopter with a single white 5-point star painted on the bottom, surrounded the spotlight/navigation light(do not know correct terminolgy). Surely, the last thing you want to tell the people you love, is that black helicopters are circling the house 50-75ft above the ground not half a mile off of Fort Detrich base. A no fly zone, no markings or numbers, circled 5 times, hovered above me as I stood and starred, with my friend in my house starring up in shaking fear. Great! Another looney in the black helicopter community. :( Honestly had no idea about the conspiracy of black helicopters until after tireless searching for a similar chopper on the internet. Is this how the mind gets lost?

Ok, I know you said that you are seeking help with this experienced community and not a doctor. However, this community is experienced in aspects of dreaming, and I cannot help but think that your problems are not in your dreams but in real life - the reason why you are now experiencing problems in dreams is as a bleed over from real life. And in the area of real life this community is comprised of amateurs, yes, some of us are more experienced than others, but even if any of us are professionals in psychology, psychiatry, or theology, cannot effectively practice that over the Internet (and in case of psychiatry I believe cannot practice legally over the Internet). If your questions are whether you are sane, I think you should seek out a doctor or several - not all of them will not return calls I am sure, and many of them do care and answer such questions to the best of their knowledge which is more experienced than ours. If your question is if God has a special purpose for you then perhaps seeking out a priest/preecher would help you. Either way, this community is not experienced in those issues, even though we do discuss them at times but only as amateurs. I would urge you to not dismiss the professionals not because I think that you are not sane but because I would not be qualified to help you determine that. And similarly for theology, I am just a Christian, but there are others more qualified to speak on these topics. And I cannot help but think that given your distress, you do need to seek them out in real life in person, not in dreams and not over the Internet.

Excellent point joanna. Thank you for your helpful advice. Sweet dreams!