Having Trouble Getting First LD/Staying Motivated...

Um... I'm not totally sure this is the right place to put this thread, but it's a newbie problem, so I'm assuming it's close enough...
Anyways, I'm sure that people have said this, like, a million times, but... self-importance, ok? ._. I've been trying to Lucid Dream for a little over 2 weeks now. I've been using DILD+MILD, and kind of WILD, but I didn't do any research or prep, (I kinda just lie there and think about random stuff while I wait for some sort of sleep to occur.) so not really. I heard that most people start LDing 3 days to 3 weeks after they start trying, so I guess I kind of expected to get one pretty quickly. However, I didn't, and, due to my chronic ADHD, (which prevents me from actually going through with something if said thing doesn't yield results within the first few days) I started losing motivation pretty rapidly a few days ago.
Due to mentioned CADHD, a bunch of new video games, and going to a camp from 8:30 til 5 pm, I've been forgetting to do my reality checks, and when I do remember, I do them simply to do them, I'm forgetting to do mantras ever at all, any dream recall I had gotten in the first week or so has disappeared, I'm either forgetting to write in my DJ, or I just can't get myself to get up and actually write anything down.
Don't get me wrong, I still REALLY want to LD, and I'm more than willing to actually put effort into it, but it's just so hard when I get too busy to remember to put effort in, and then as a result, I start feeling like whatever effort I do put in is pointless, and then I put in even less, and the little bit that's left isn't even being directed how it should be... Does anyone have any tips on how to get out of this? =(

Hi DG,

First of all one of the most important things is to stay relaxed about the whole practice, you can be pumped and excited but try to also keep your cool. While WILD'ing for example you want the kind of focus and awareness that will sneak into your sleep, not the one that will prevent you from sleep. :P

On motivation you have a lot of great great threads even in this section of the forum. You can also check out some dream journals of advanced dreamers, that is something that has and still does motivate me a lot. Some great examples of my favorites are those of KingYoshi, Hyu and OpheliaBlue.

What I can also say particularly right here is, by all means, even if you do half RC's a day, even if you stop doing WBTB, reciting your mantras or anything else... Don't ever loose your foot with dream journaling. I know it might be a pain but dream recall is absolutely crucial in many ways. It will get you familiar with the dream world, it will increase the perceived vividness of your experiences, it might help you spot dream signs and of course without it you can't remember your lucids and you also don't want to just remember them poorly. On a quick note you also don't necessarily need to write them down, certainly not every dream. You can use an audio recorder if you prefer and you'll be set to go. Good luck ;)

Hi Dragongirl253,

I know what you are talking about, because I have just recently been there as well.

I noticed that you have a lot of your attention on what is going wrong, on what doesn't work and on the reasons why it doesn't work. Well, if you focus so much on not having a LD, you will (maybe unconsciously) search for the evidence of it, so it is a self enforcing mechanism. This is basic law of attraction, so instead I would suggest: Focus your attention on what actually does work for you, and on what progress you already made (I think you are by far closer to a LD than 3 weeks ago, but you are not aware of that because you only highlight the non-working aspects). Believing in your own progress and success and looking for the evidence of it is also a self enforcing mechanism, but in this case it goes in the desired direction.

And as Micael suggested, I would also agree on just relaxing about the whole effort thing when effort means you try to force it. Instead just relax and enjoy the journey towards the LD, meaning that for example writing in your DJ is not a grim duty, but a fun, exciting and rewarding task in general. After I had overcome my laziness regarding the DJ, I am thankful for every entry (even with mostly non-lucids in it) and I enjoy reading in it, because it exhibits a vast region of my subconscious that I would otherwise not be aware of.

I think you are closer to a LD than you know, I wish you good luck!

PS: have you had a look into DV-Academy? There is a variety of classes including an intro class for newbies like us and there are also funny LDing competitions. Could make the journey more exciting and helps overcoming laziness.

Hey Dragongirl,

I had once given up lucid dreaming completely. The start of my "lucid dreaming journey" was about 6 months ago. A friend had told me about it and I decided to try it out too. But I gave up after about 3 weeks.

Only recently, about 1 month ago, I got into it again. What brought me back was the Lucid Dreamscapes video on youtube. (just type in Lucid Dreamscapes, if you're interested)

I can kind of understand the ADHD aspect, because my brother is like that too. He loses patience with things far too quick for him to see results. I always try to help him stay on the task, but I can't always do it.

But let me tell you, Lucid Dreaming is amazing. I know, because 4 days ago, I had my first lucid dream. It was initiated in a dream - so it was a DILD. The very same day I started experimenting with MILD and WILD, so I know the feeling of randomness and getting impatient just lying around.

One thing I find very motivational is openly committing yourself to lucid dreaming. Posting in this forum is one of them, so that's very good already. You can tell your friends about it, or your family. I made a website, where I post about my lucid dreaming experiences (and other stuff too) and now I can't just quit, because I feel committed.

When you feel like the things you do are pointless, try to think of lucid dreaming again. There are no limits. You can really do anything. And everything you do gets you one step closer. About 2 weeks ago, reality checks were very annoying for me. I look at my hand, count the fingers - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - yep, that's reality. But with time, even if you do these techniques kinda half-assed, you will start to not only count the fingers on your hand, but ask yourself: Is this real? What, in this particular situation, is or isn't evidence that this is real?

Hope I could help you Dragongirl, if you want to read about my first lucid dream, go to evolphing(dot)com (sorry, can't post links here yet)

Really keep going, Lucid Dreaming is such a great benefit in your life!

Best wishes,

Chris

First of all you need to stop identifying yourself with your troubles and realize that this is something that EVERYONE goes through.

When you have done that you can start to do what is right.

I have got the right mindset into my brain by both practising lucid dreaming for 5-6 years, but also by challenging myself by trying to pick up girls.

I know that it sounds totally random, but I have realized that the road to frequent success is exactly the same no matter what you do.

So just do whatever you can do with the information and lessons I am going to present to you and take what you like and leave the rest.

First of all I have realized that frequent success is a longterm process, the people who just want the experience for a quick stimulation of their ego, like a lucid experience or a girl's validation, well they are not going to get it, and if they do it will not be of much value to them.
So you have to do things that you know is in favor in longterm and not in short-term. Like for example focus on learning and getting experiences rather than getting result. Because you can always learn, but you can't control the result. As a beginner you can't really control if you will get a lucid dream because you don't have the reference experience and knowledge to trust or even know how to possibly do it, and as a beginner you can't control if a girl will like you, for the same reason. That brings us to the next "rule". Only focus on what is within your control, you can't control if you are going to remember your dreams, if you get a lucid dream, if a girls will answer your call/ sms, if a girl will like you when you approach, but you can always TRY!

And here is the best advice that I got from Tyler from RSD on youtube:

Admit that you suc* shit! And admit to yourself that right now you are the worst lucid dreamer ever!

When you do this you can start to find joy in the small things! Like that you recalled ONE dream -> that it was kind of vivid -> that you were kind of aware.

To saying that you suc* shit might seem like a mean thing, however it is much more mean to yourself to try to live up to some kind of lucid dreaming pro ego. I can tell you how this kind of thinking made me succeed both with lucid dreaming and picking up girls (for the guys out there!).

And this will also work like a summary of all the mindset I have mentioned: Focus on and trust the longterm process, learning is the answer, only do and focus on what is within your control.

Instead of trying to not fail, I just totally accepted that I am a failure and even wanted to fail. I was practising dream recall at the time and I went to bed hoping to fail just so I could learn something so that I could understand what works and what doesn't. So then I woke up the next morning and didn't remember anything and I wrote down that I had done. And then the morning where I did remember lots of dreams I also wrote down what I had done and that gave birth to this theory: http://www.dreamviews.com/dream-sign...reams-try.html

Likewise one night I went to the club and I approached girls and tried to get rejected on purpose, because I wanted to fail and get used to rejection, because it's inevitable, it will happen eventually, I am not looking like Brad Pit.. :) But to my surprise the girls just liked how ballsy I was, and since I really didn't care about the outcome I wasn't needy or looking for validation. And that's when I from experienced learned that doing and finding joy in what's in your control, like approaching, is better and puts you in the mindset of success compared to focus on what's not in your control like if the girls will like you or not.

Also think about another thing. Let's say you want to learn to play a guitar but you don't have any hands. You are obviously in a worse position than a person that has hands. However it can all be cured with time a persistence I mean what if you try to learn to play with your feet for 10-15 years.
How can you possibly fail? This is an extreme example I just want to prove a point. No matter what kind of obstacles and troubles that are tossed on you, if you just continue to practise you can't fail!

And here is a poem of success I found somewhere:

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Good luck!

YES. Thanks MasterMind, that is also what I needed to hear. And great poem BTW :bravo:
We kinda scratch on the surface of a little inconvenience here and then you come, dig down to the roots and explain the basic mechanism of success in all things. So it comes down to a small change of behavior and attitude and the resulting benefits will then can extrapolate into every aspect of ones life, sounds good. You even manage to keep it analogous to valid dating advice, so thanks :D. And no one should want to change face with Brad Pitt, would be boring if there were only one way to be beautiful.