I'm in need of your enlightenment

I had a strange experience the other morning and I was hoping someone would bring clarity to me.
To start, a little about me: I'm 26 years old and am an engineering student well on his way to a career. My particular fields of interest are chemical and aerospace. I live in Seattle and am overjoyed about the seahawks victory :)
Anyways, I have never sought advice on any of my experiences, but this one seems to need some further pondering. In retrospect, I have had one lucid dream prior to this one. I was a child laying in bed with my eyes closed, staring at the patterns made in the darkness of my eyelids(as I often did), when all of a sudden I was jettisoned through a wormhole (only way to describe it) and ended up floating above two other children, watching them play. I was awake(in my mind) and soon after realizing what was happening, I became frightened and brought myself back. Ever since then I have never been able to mimic this experience until the other day.. I had just woken up in the morning of Saturday and felt wide awake. I decided to catch a few more minutes of sleep so I closed my eyes. When I did I immediately was aware that I was sleeping. This frightened me and so I woke myself up by shaking my head really hard. I then repeated this 5 or 6 times in the same fashion, and each time I awoke in my dream I'd become frightened. After the second to last time of jarring myself awake, I became ashamed at my cowardice. Because of this I told myself that this time I'd embrace it and adventure a little bit; and so I did. I walked around in a place that seemed all too familiar watching people come and go without giving them notice. Until I saw this beautiful woman. I was drawn to her. I then walked straight up to her and gave her a kiss. She smiled and asked what that was for. All I could do is smile and say that I didn't know. We walked and it was beautiful, until we came upon the place from which I started this journey; where I had awoken in the dream. The mood darkened and she asked what this place was. I became ashamed and replied that it is where I have been since I was a child. (I'm not sure how I knew that) - to add additional details, instead of being immediately aware of the fact I was dreaming this time, I became aware by noticing the jacket I was wearing; I had recently lost it(my favorite jacket) and so knew the only way I could be wearing it was in a dream. I was then linked with my "awake" consciousness. Also, I was aware that I was dreaming, but something else was different. Unlike the prior dreams, in which I made my own decisions and was completely alone, This dream had others in it and sort of played like a movie. A movie that I was aware of being part of. Anyways, after telling her that I had been in the place since my early beginnings, The mood lightened and she smiled at me once more as she turned away and walked to a staircase. The staircase wrapped around to a door that was only visible because of the radiant light emanating from it. She beckoned me to follow with nothing more than a smile and a glance back as she disappeared into the light. I wanted to go. And so I tried, but once I got half way up the staircase, I felt bogged down by an invisible barrier that felt as though a thousand pounds resented on my body. I vigorously tried to overcome this burden but it was so heavy. I then screamed in a voice that I didn't realize I had. Loud and emanating. I screamed to myself that I will conquer this darkness. My screaming became louder and I could feel my will overcome this weight that was put upon me. As my will to move forward increased in intensity, I forced a portal open; blue and twisting, the same one as when I was a child. I entered it and began picking up speed until I became afraid of what lay ahead and so again, to my shame, I Jared myself back into this world with an unusual amount of regret. I want to know what was waiting for me on the other side, and doubt I will have the opportunity once again.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for gifting me with whatever feedback you can give.

Interesting dream. Opinions differ but I don't think anyone call tell you what it means in an absolute sense. Your dream featured a mixture of familiar and novel things, a wide range of emotions, and plenty of imagery and symbolism. It's like life really. There are times of struggle and times to appreciate beauty and everything in between. That's what I'd take from it. If you're interested in dreams, my advice is to have more of them and explore them. You experienced some trepidation with your first lucid dreams but now that you know the territory a bit better, you can dive in and work on inducing them more often.

I felt the same way as a child/teen. I was terrified of what was happening to me. Much, much later, thanks to the internet, I discovered that what I had been experiencing had a name: WILD. I would recommend that you look into this type of dream, because a lot of what you experienced is common to the WILD experience, but once you are aware of it, you will be much more brave, and will even begin to look forward to some of these sensations, believe it or not. As soon as you conquer the fear, it will all feel much better. Nothing in your dreams can hurt you, even though it can feel quite violent, you are in no danger. It takes some getting used to, but once you understand what is going on, you will feel much better about trying this again.

Some useful places on this forum:
Intro Class
WILD
Wake Initiated Lucid Dreams (WILD)

What an amazing lucid dream experience, i felt so emotional reading that. And i echo the above comment...explore the WILD. Then you can explore this further.

I am not sure that any dreams have any meanings... Except what we put into them. A dream could be totally random, but the way you react to the dream can bea reflection of your feelings (not always, especially not really aware dreams). I can tell you one thing about it though! It was awesome! Hope this draws you into LDing further. I normally don't enjoy beginners LDs, but yours was boss. It reminds me of a few girls that I have met in dreams. I could share some experiences, but I would rather share what I learned. When looking at a girl in a dream that is beautiful, it isn't like looking at a beautiful girl in real life, it is like a beautiful sunset or scenery.

I guess I will share my favorite dream girl story (from a lucid).

I jolt awake. I think about RCing, but I don't, because I am obviously not awake. Everything is black for miles. I can't see anything. I feel some ground underneath me, but looking down and around there is no difference in color from ground and not. It is like the nothingness floating, but I can feel ground. Might have been just the nothingness mixed with the feeling of my bed. Suddenly I see something. I dont know how I missed her before, but she was kneeling beside me. Light was emanating from her skin and her white dress, there was flowers in her hair. I couldn't pin an age on her, it could have been as young as 15 or as old as 30. To describe how she looked any more would just be a shame to her memory (like a sunset over the ocean). She looked down at me with a childish smile and touched my arm.
Immediately I am at my work, walking at my route downtown. I recognize all the buildings, but the girl is gone. I try to use some dream powers to summon her, but I had only had about 50 LDs at the time, and my summoning needed some work. I gave up and decided to do the type of things I normally do when at a place I am at in waking as well. I think I woke up a few seconds later though.

This may sound childish or strange, but that kind of beauty seems like it would be the type that is in the new earth (christian heaven after the world is over can provide verses if needed) where we are all on a perfect world with a perfect body and we are all changed. :P I have tried to create DCs like this, but like the bubble plant in perelendra, you shouldn't go looking for them or they wouldn't be special. If one found me and stayed with me for a long time I wouldn't mind though! :P