Why is lucid dreaming so hard?!?!?

Hi everyone my name is Jake and i'm kinda new to dreamviews.com but kind of enjoying it so far. My question is why is LD so hard?! I have been trying to achieve a lucid dream since last october. Of course i got frustrated often and around christmas took 2-3 weeks off believing that it might help me a little to stop obsessing over this. Then I began trying again around the middle of January and then around the 2nd week of February I just completely gave up. I lost all hope believing that I'm the one person in the entire world who can't have a LD. Some of you are going to read this and say what a little baby he doesn't want to Lucid Dream fine with me who would ever want to help this little cry baby? I would love for you to be on my side of this whole situation. You don't think I have read all the posts, all the books and watched all the youtube tutorials. You don't think that i have 2 dream journals filled with only little bits and pieces of dreams that I haven't done Billions and Billions of RC's or that I haven't said to myself every night "Okay this is it tonight is the night I will have my first lucid dream" Well guess what I've done all that and more and still haven't gotten anywhere. I just don't know what else to do I have just now decided to get my courage back and try again but i have to tell you I don't know if i can take much more of the disappointment. There is so much I want to do in the dream world stuff I have been building up since October. There isn't anyone i can talk to about this stuff, no one to help me or tell me what i'm doing wrong. So if any of you can do anything to help me I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks everyone for reading this if you even made it this far it means a lot (:

My own personal theory of why lucid dreaming is so hard is because it has the potential to thoroughly change one's personality and one's current personality may be resisting that. What do I mean by this? About 20 years ago I started practicing LDing for the first time. I became more aware of myself in the process, didn't like what I saw, and changed into a very different person. LUcid Dreaming is one of the few hobbies with that kind of potential. Human beings have an inbuilt reluctance to change, we try to avoid it, because our current ego has too much invested in things staying the way they are, but radical personality change for the better may be just what we need. I came back to lucid dreaming in Fevruary of last year because of fighting depression, and realizing that my personality needs to change, and hoping that I can ackomplish that through lucid dream practice. I have had only very slow results both in LDing and in personality changing, but I do not give up, and at times I feel like it is good that the LD progress is so hard for me because then I have more motivation to become even more aware and to change more, whereas if the rewards were too easy, I might just enjoy the superficial thrill of LDing without the needed substantial changes.

Why are you not being successful? I don't know. It's different for each of us. The challenge is to figure out what works for you, and it sounds like you have already tried a lot of stuff. If I were you, I would not give up, and keep searching. The successful end result of LD practice is well worth it; however, in my opinion even when unsuccessful LD practice has many benefits including better awareness, memory improvements, and the aforementioned potential for positive personality changes. Best!

Ah, blocks of text, don't you just love 'em..

OP, do you go through life with a passive state of mind? Are you aware of the fact that you're aware? Do you stay on auto-pilot all the time?
You see, state of mind is very important when it comes to lucidity. I'm fairly certain of that. If you spend your time throughout the day accepting everything around you, questioning nothing, and generally thinking like a zombie, achieving lucidity while dreaming will be pretty darn difficult.

Why do you see a two headed person in your dream and just accept it like it's nothing unusual, instead of going "wait a second, this isn't normal, is this a dream"? Because you do the same thing in waking life. Well, not exactly the same, I doubt you see two headed people but still, the idea is similar. You never question your reality while you're awake, you just accept it and go along with everything, so your dreaming mind will do the same thing..

5 months of practice and no LD's? I've had my first one after a week of practice, do you know how? Meditation and mindfulness during the day.

Meditation gets you present, you stop being all the day in your head without even noticing what is going around you, like mimihigurashi said. You really "awaken to reality" and you keep that awareness with you by practicing mindfulness, which helps in building awareness. If you are brushing your teeth and are thinking of the bills to be paid, the water flow could split in two and it would literally go unnoticed, even when you are "awake". Add questioning whether you are dreaming to the mix, repeated many times throughout the day, some RC's only used to keep you in that state of mind and some mantras/visualizations before going to bed and you cannot help but have LD's.

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Originally Posted by Valdast94

5 months of practice and no LD's? I've had my first one after a week of practice, do you know how? Meditation and mindfulness during the day.

Meditation gets you present, you stop being all the day in your head without even noticing what is going around you, like mimihigurashi said. You really "awaken to reality" and you keep that awareness with you by practicing mindfulness, which helps in building awareness. If you are brushing your teeth and are thinking of the bills to be paid, the water flow could split in two and it would literally go unnoticed, even when you are "awake". Add questioning whether you are dreaming to the mix, repeated many times throughout the day, some RC's only used to keep you in that state of mind and some mantras/visualizations before going to bed and you cannot help but have LD's.

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But when am i supposed to meditate I'm 17 years old i have school that i need to go to what am i supposed to do while at school other than question reality which I do a lot but still nothing?

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Originally Posted by mimihigurashi

Ah, blocks of text, don't you just love 'em..

OP, do you go through life with a passive state of mind? Are you aware of the fact that you're aware? Do you stay on auto-pilot all the time?
You see, state of mind is very important when it comes to lucidity. I'm fairly certain of that. If you spend your time throughout the day accepting everything around you, questioning nothing, and generally thinking like a zombie, achieving lucidity while dreaming will be pretty darn difficult.

Why do you see a two headed person in your dream and just accept it like it's nothing unusual, instead of going "wait a second, this isn't normal, is this a dream"? Because you do the same thing in waking life. Well, not exactly the same, I doubt you see two headed people but still, the idea is similar. You never question your reality while you're awake, you just accept it and go along with everything, so your dreaming mind will do the same thing..

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So are you telling me i need to practice awareness more during the day?

Or, you can simply meditate yourself to sleep at night and not do any day time awareness practice. This works for me.

Keep trying different things and take note of what works and what doesn't, not only in terms of dream awareness but of recall as well. Stick with what works and scrap what doesn't. This will help you make steady progress which will increase your confidence. You need confidence more than anything else.

Setting and achieving smaller goals will increase your confidence. Focus on increasing your recall more than becoming lucid. As you get better at recall and start achieving your goals, you will have more confidence in your dreaming skill. This confidence will help you become lucid.

Imagining yourself becoming lucid in dreams also helps increase this confidence.

How would you meditate yourself to sleep? Sounds pretty good to do.

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Originally Posted by dolphin

Or, you can simply meditate yourself to sleep at night and not do any day time awareness practice. This works for me.

Keep trying different things and take note of what works and what doesn't, not only in terms of dream awareness but of recall as well. Stick with what works and scrap what doesn't. This will help you make steady progress which will increase your confidence. You need confidence more than anything else.

Setting and achieving smaller goals will increase your confidence. Focus on increasing your recall more than becoming lucid. As you get better at recall and start achieving your goals, you will have more confidence in your dreaming skill. This confidence will help you become lucid.

Imagining yourself becoming lucid in dreams also helps increase this confidence.

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Yeah You're right I do need a confidence boost... How would you meditate yourself to sleep?

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Originally Posted by SuperBeta

You don't think I have read all the posts, all the books and watched all the youtube tutorials. You don't think that i have 2 dream journals filled with only little bits and pieces of dreams that I haven't done Billions and Billions of RC's or that I haven't said to myself every night "Okay this is it tonight is the night I will have my first lucid dream" Well guess what I've done all that and more and still haven't gotten anywhere.

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After all that it's a miracle you're still here. My guess is that you're drowning in WAY too much theory on the subject, much of which is shite.

My suggestion is that you put aside everything you've seen, heard, and read on the subject and only refer to Stephen LaBerge's "Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming" until you get the hang of it. He's successfully taught thousands of people how to do it. If you follow LaBerge's instructions exactly, without getting inventive or adding in stuff from Dream Views or YouTube, you will sooner or later have a lucid dream.

By the way, whether you think it's easy, or think it's hard, you're right.

Niall

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Originally Posted by Nailler

After all that it's a miracle you're still here. My guess is that you're drowning in WAY too much theory on the subject, much of which is shite.

My suggestion is that you put aside everything you've seen, heard, and read on the subject and only refer to Stephen LaBerge's "Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming" until you get the hang of it. He's successfully taught thousands of people how to do it. If you follow LaBerge's instructions exactly, without getting inventive or adding in stuff from Dream Views or YouTube, you will sooner or later have a lucid dream.

By the way, whether you think it's easy, or think it's hard, you're right.

Niall

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I think this is a really good point. "Knowing" too much can be bad. I myself went through this drowning phase but that's the way I learn, through total immersion and questioning everything.

But yet, my first LD was "100% LaBerge" basically. ETWOLD and ACILD[*]. ACILD is great because it takes all his techniques and organizes them into clear, easy-to-follow step-by-step exercises. Dream recall, RCs, Reflection/Intention, MILD, WBTB. That's the core, and you would certainly do well to focus just on them until you achieve some success. They WORK, keep at them. Stay positive!
[*] A Course In Lucid Dreaming. Google will find a pdf for you.

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Originally Posted by SuperBeta

So are you telling me i need to practice awareness more during the day?

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Precisely.

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Originally Posted by SuperBeta

But when am i supposed to meditate I'm 17 years old i have school that i need to go to what am i supposed to do while at school other than question reality which I do a lot but still nothing?

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Dude..if you stay in your head all day long, when you go to school you are NOT going to school..when you are at school during a lesson, you are NOT paying attention to the lesson anyway. I always find it funny how a lot of people say they don't have time to meditate because they have other things to do, when in reality, by not meditating, they are not really doing those things!

Look, it only takes 10-15 minutes a day (I meditate twice a day, but only because I enjoy it). Set your alarm clock so that it wakes you up 10-15 minutes before and meditate. If you still can't do that, go to school and actually GO THERE! Be present when walking, be present when opening a door, be present when you listen to your teacher and in all that, since you want to lucid dream, ask yourself "Am I dreaming?"..you can also use this question when you find yourself inside your head: "Oh, I'm inside my head and I haven't paid attention to the present moment/the environment/myself..am I dreaming?". I personally do that, so I kill two birds with one stone.

Try it and let us now :)

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Originally Posted by Valdast94

Dude..if you stay in your head all day long, when you go to school you are NOT going to school..when you are at school during a lesson, you are NOT paying attention to the lesson anyway. I always find it funny how a lot of people say they don't have time to meditate because they have other things to do, when in reality, by not meditating, they are not really doing those things!

Look, it only takes 10-15 minutes a day (I meditate twice a day, but only because I enjoy it). Set your alarm clock so that it wakes you up 10-15 minutes before and meditate. If you still can't do that, go to school and actually GO THERE! Be present when walking, be present when opening a door, be present when you listen to your teacher and in all that, since you want to lucid dream, ask yourself "Am I dreaming?"..you can also use this question when you find yourself inside your head: "Oh, I'm inside my head and I haven't paid attention to the present moment/the environment/myself..am I dreaming?". I personally do that, so I kill two birds with one stone.

Try it and let us now :)

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What sort of meditation do you do? It's something I probably need to add to my daily practice

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Originally Posted by FryingMan

What sort of meditation do you do? It's something I probably need to add to my daily practice

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I guess it's Trascendental Meditation because I basically sit down for 15-20 minutes twice a day and I repeat a mantra keeping my eyes closed. This clears my mind and relaxes my body and I've had many insights about myself by practicing it, both when meditating and during the day/when dreaming.

I'm not really an expert of the different "techniques" though, so I could be wrong, even because I read that in order to practice TM one must have a teacher who gives them a mantra to repeat..but personally I use my own mantra and I'm fine.

Besides I've been practicing mindfulness for a week or two together with my "normal" meditation sessions because it helps me be more present and with lucid dreaming, when combined with the constant questioning of reality.

In one of Stephen King's short stories, a man keeps thinking that he sees a ghost because of a pair of sneakers he can see in the next stall every time he goes tonthe bathroom. He finally gives in and goes to the other stall and as soon as he opens up the stall he sees the person in the stall is actually him, and then it starts changing to a more ethereal being and then it switches to the ghost of someone that was killed in the building. He suddenly realizes that the reason that he Saw himself at first was because he knew that the mind couldn't see something that it didn't understand all at once or he would have a mental breakdown, so it showed him first as something that he would be able to understand.

I hope this makes sense. You need to get he neural pathways in order to LD depending on if you are doing it right, how good you are at learning things, and how much you sleep LDing shouldn't take too long. You said that you started LFong in October 2013? That isn't very long ago. I would recommend keeping reading about it. You haven't spent much time on DV, so I recommend spending noe tine on here and getting some friends, that should keep you motivated better.

How could i know that the target is what i am aiming at if my friend hasn't hit it first?

How do I know that I am running the right race if i am running it alone?

To meditate yourself to sleep, simply attempt to get to the state where you're thinking about as little as possible, preferably nothing, and maintain the state until you fall asleep. This works because the dream stands out more to a clear mind than one filled with thoughts.

Somebody created a thread of this technique but I don't know where it is.

I heard someone say that lucid dreaming is very dependent on who you are as a person. And through it, you become more self-aware of who you are. It is, in some ways dependent on your personality and actions in waking life. And so, there might be some kind of mental or personality "blockage" in your life that you need to resolve before the lucid dreams come more smoothly.

Also, if you are not doing so already:

-Go to bed early. I normally go to bed around 10:00-11:00, but when I'm trying my best to lucid, I'll hit the sack at 8:30. This works remarkably well for me in getting lucid. Avoid caffeine and alcohol, especially before bed.

-Keep a waking life journal and/or start an autobiography. I've been writing an autobiography to build my waking life recall, and trying to recall events and people from my childhood. This will vastly improve your dream recall as in the process.

-Read about others' dreams. I often get inspired after reading about another lucid dreamers' experiences. Browse the Dream Journal section of this website and find some experienced lucid dreamers whos' dreams you enjoy reading and subscribe to their dream journal.

-That or stop trying. Sometimes aspiring lucid dreamers will struggle and struggle with lucidity, and give up, and its the night after they give up that they get lucid agian. I don't really know what they do from there, but giving up, or lowering your level of effort may actually help you.

Hey OP,

I've been struggling with lucid dreaming like you wouldn't believe. (To anyone who reads this, please check out my post right above the OP's because I need help, too, thanks.) I don't know why some people get it instantly or in their first week. I'm just calling it luck, but I'm telling you I can relate.

For poor souls like us who have--for whatever awful reason--a stubborn mind that just won't lucid dream, I recommend a few things. The first, is use technology. Isochronic tones. If you're unfamiliar with them, here's a short answer: your mind is constantly emitting brain waves. Isochronic tones are used to emit a specific wave like the one of lucid dreaming, and help your mine synchronize and thus, emit the same wave. They're better than binaural beats in that you don't need headphones. It's proven to work, but read on it a little yourself for more reassurance. I haven't been trying them recently, but I'm going to get back into it.

The other thing is subliminal messages, or hypnotism. I frowned upon hypnotism for a while, but it's not a form of mind control, as one hypnotist wrote in an article, otherwise he'd "be rich." All it does is help you relax (where you're more susceptible) and give you suggestions in hope that your subconscious mind accepts them.

My last piece of advice is to try lucid dreaming very early in the morning. This is when I've had the most awareness in my dreams, even though I've yet to control them. Try around 5 A.M, do MILD or FILD very briefly, then fall back to sleep and see if you have better luck than I.

One document that may be reassuring is this one Stephen LaBerge help make. This method he proposed had a high success rate, and I'll let you read for yourself. I can't link it, but just search this: An Hour of Wakefulness Before Morning Naps Makes Lucidity More Likely. The only reason this failed for me the few times I tried it was because I couldn't fall back to sleep until at least two hours later. If you can overcome that dilemma, I'm sure this will work for you within a week at most.

If you have any other ideas or questions, please let me know. It's good to talk to someone who has my same problem.

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Originally Posted by Screen

Hey OP,

I've been struggling with lucid dreaming like you wouldn't believe. (To anyone who reads this, please check out my post right above the OP's because I need help, too, thanks.) I don't know why some people get it instantly or in their first week. I'm just calling it luck, but I'm telling you I can relate.

For poor souls like us who have--for whatever awful reason--a stubborn mind that just won't lucid dream, I recommend a few things. The first, is use technology. Isochronic tones. If you're unfamiliar with them, here's a short answer: your mind is constantly emitting brain waves. Isochronic tones are used to emit a specific wave like the one of lucid dreaming, and help your mine synchronize and thus, emit the same wave. They're better than binaural beats in that you don't need headphones. It's proven to work, but read on it a little yourself for more reassurance. I haven't been trying them recently, but I'm going to get back into it.

The other thing is subliminal messages, or hypnotism. I frowned upon hypnotism for a while, but it's not a form of mind control, as one hypnotist wrote in an article, otherwise he'd "be rich." All it does is help you relax (where you're more susceptible) and give you suggestions in hope that your subconscious mind accepts them.

My last piece of advice is to try lucid dreaming very early in the morning. This is when I've had the most awareness in my dreams, even though I've yet to control them. Try around 5 A.M, do MILD or FILD very briefly, then fall back to sleep and see if you have better luck than I.

One document that may be reassuring is this one Stephen LaBerge help make. This method he proposed had a high success rate, and I'll let you read for yourself. I can't link it, but just search this: An Hour of Wakefulness Before Morning Naps Makes Lucidity More Likely. The only reason this failed for me the few times I tried it was because I couldn't fall back to sleep until at least two hours later. If you can overcome that dilemma, I'm sure this will work for you within a week at most.

If you have any other ideas or questions, please let me know. It's good to talk to someone who has my same problem.

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I have never seen anyone just "picks it up instantly on their first week". Could you please point them out to me?

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Originally Posted by BrandonBoss

I have never seen anyone just "picks it up instantly on their first week". Could you please point them out to me?

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Here. I had my first lucid 5 days after registering in here. Obviously it wasn't long but my awareness was quite high compared to the following lucids I've been having.

Anyways, I started having lucids more often just by practising ADA better, understanding how reality feels, looks, etc.. and also meditating three days a week. Good luck :)

Having your first lucid is different than having lucid dreams. Most people are brought to LDing by having a lucid before coming here.

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Originally Posted by BrandonBoss

Having your first lucid is different than having lucid dreams. Most people are brought to LDing by having a lucid before coming here.

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My very first lucid was a lot of years ago, when I didn't even know about lucid dreaming, so I never count it. But my first lucid dream after registering here and trying a few techniques happened in the same week.

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Originally Posted by dolphin

To meditate yourself to sleep, simply attempt to get to the state where you're thinking about as little as possible, preferably nothing, and maintain the state until you fall asleep. This works because the dream stands out more to a clear mind than one filled with thoughts.

Somebody created a thread of this technique but I don't know where it is.

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OK that sounds like the technique I "invented" for myself. I call it my power sleep techinque. Sometimes it takes a great deal of willpower and determination to keep one's mind empty for long enough to fall asleep.

Having your first *induced lucid is luck, it took me one day. That does not mean thy I picked it up easily and ran with it. If you had just picked it up easily you would have more LDs than you do right now (a solid number, but probably equal to the effort put into LDing and dreaming)

Just because you don't know specifically someone who learned lucid dreaming quickly, doesn't mean they don't exist. Children sometimes have them, as I've read in books. Other times, people have them unintentionally. Point is, it's obviously easier for some than others like everything in life.

If you have advice, please share it, because like I said, I'm struggling as much as the OP is.

Yes, it is easier for some than others. My point wasn't really to sound like a jerk (like it looks like I did. :P ) I was just trying to point out that for 99.99% of people, starting LDing is a struggle and you shouldn't think of yourself as someone that is underprivileged, the people that LD easily have some of the most boring LDs I have ever seen, and those that worked hard to get them have amazing LDs, so be glad that you have to struggle. Naturals are boring :D

My advice:
Work hard
Don't stress
Be patient
Follow who you want to end up like
Read... All the time
Dont lose your sense of wonder in dreams
Pay attention to whose advice you take (like mine right now for example)

And I have the 2 most helpful threads that I have made in my signature.

Thanks for the advice, and I'll be sure to visit the links. And yes, common problem on the Internet. You can never tell someone's tone. Happens to me a lot.

Yep. Trying to sound encouraging, ends up sounding like a douche, thanks internet and me being in too much of a hurry to read over before posting. :/

Darn you! :shoots angry kamehameha at internet: