Poor control of thinking about bad things: Is it safe for me to Lucid Dream?

Hello all. I would like to start by saying I find myself at one with the world, maybe not to the extent that Eckhart Tolle is, and a Rinpoche returning from a retreat, but I have great compassion and patience for most things, more than most people I know. However...

Really bad thoughts enter my mind, and I can't seem to stop them. Maybe this is one reason I have started getting into meditation, The Power Of Now will hopefully help too. But anyway, random thoughts can often find their way into my mind.

It usually goes like this:

-I'll be thinking about something, I'll be concentrated and focused
-Then I'll think about having random thoughts
-And as soon as I think that, a flurry of disturbing thoughts flood into my brain
-It's happened so many times now that when it happens again there is already a predetermined list of awful things that go through my mind

It's like I have no control for a few brief moments. I know all the thoughts that come into my head are terrible, I would never dream (ha) about doing them. But it's like my mind wants to put me through hell and see them all.

I'm worried that once I start lucid dreaming regularly that this will happen in my dreams, and then who knows what will happen...

Anyone else experienced this kind of thing before?

I'm not sure specifically what type of thoughts go through your mind but I think having bad thoughts is fairly common. I've heard that it's a defense mechanism so that we DON'T act them out and is actually a sign that we're pretty sane since we feel remorse for the thought. Our brain runs through a bad scenario and then instantly you feel negatively about it so it prevents you from acting it out.

I've had this thought before a few times, when driving on a road and other cars are coming at me I randomly image just jerking the wheel and slamming into them head on. That thought bothers me but then I tend to drive a lot safer after it goes away. Or if I'm on top of a high place I get an image of me jumping off so that makes me stay back away from the edge. I've also heard of stories where mothers holding their babes, when walking past a balcony they imagine the baby being tossed over and so they clutch it tighter.

This could affect your dreams since any thought might automatically be acted out after thinking of it, but I assume that this happens in your dreams anyway, maybe just with lower recall you don't remember those events. I figure with learning to lucid dream though, you could control and change the subject of the dream more often which would be better. I think that if it happens in your dreams, it's pretty normal and if you feel badly about it then it just reinforces that you should not act that way in waking life.

Having spent many years doing meditation, mantras, and various other spiritual practices, the one thing to remember is that, no matter what it tells you, no matter how much it wants you to believe otherwise, you are NOT your mind. Your mind is just something that is happening. Right now. It's just chattering away, believing it's in charge. "Fight me! Struggle with me!" it seems to say. But as soon as you fight it, it has already won. Rather, smile at it and everything it does like you would an unruly child. "That's nice, that's cute." Let it do its thing, knowing that it's not you. They're just thoughts that happen to be happening. They'll come, and if you just watch them without any resistance, they'll go.

We are so much more than our minds.

That's a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, specifically Intrusive Thoughts. Everyone has intrusive thoughts once in a while, but if they become too often and too disturbing, like yours, they can be a serious problem.
Here's for more info Intrusive thoughts - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

There are some fancy psychological experiments you can do on yourself in an attempt to decrease the thoughts frequency, like purposefully exposing yourself to them until you become desensitized, do some CBT or medication, but honestly, you can get rid of them by just not giving them attention. Don't entertain them, that's what gives them power over you, the fact that you give them attention and become so disturbed by them. Don't suppress them, however. When they come, you become aware of them for a moment then discard them and continue whatever you were doing like nothing happened, without reacting in any way.

I agree with cvdmehden and mimihigurashi.

I don't know for how long you've been meditating, but you become "experienced" at it and the concept that you are not your mind clicks you'll be free from your thoughts because you'll realize you are not them, you are the one observing them.
First of all you judge them negatively, while you should actually be equanimous: they are what they are, thoughts. The more you try to fight them (with other thoughts lol) the more you identify with them and they come back hunting you. Just observe them instead and they will cease to have power of you and eventually will go away.

In the second place I suggest you start using a gratitude journal where you write 3-5 things you are grateful for for that day so that you train your brain to focus on the positive.

This might be said by some other spiritual teacher before, I dont know. But this was what Eckhart Tolle said: "The stronger you fight something. The stronger the thing you fight is getting." Well it might not be the exact words, but this could be something you should consider, when it comes to those copulsive thoughts of yours. So this little quote, sure is a thoughtful one. Even if thought isn't the thing that Eckhart are promoting exactly. (My ego thinks that Eckhart are awesome by the way!)

this idea came up in meditation practice one day. one of my fellow students asked our teacher "but how do i keep myself from having these negative thoughts?" our teacher simply replied "Just DON'T". it really is that simple. just don't think those thoughts. tell your mind to stop. i know it sounds ridiculous, but this actually works for me. perhaps practicing meditation could help you, but when i recognize that my mind is wandering or about to have a flood of negative thoughts, i literally just tell it not to. and it works. also... i think someone already mentioned this. if the thoughts do come. just recognize them and let them pass. they have no power over you. i hope this somehow helps.