Recurring DC who I'm married to?

I'm curious to know if anyone has experienced something similar!

I started having lucid dreams involving this DC about 10 months ago. Over a period of 10 days I had 4 dreams involving him in the main narrative. By the third dream, I realised we were married. I had feelings of disgust and repulsion regarding him once it was revealed we were in fact married (I am not, and have never been, married irl).

From then on, although I remain 'married' to him in the dream world and he continually appears in my dreams (lucid or not), I always try to avoid him as he causes feelings of dread whenever I see him, or he tries to manipulate or control my course of action in the dream world. This is especially frustrating in lucid dreams.

I feel as if there's some sort of back-story between us in my own dream 'world' that I don't know. Nowadays appears in person very infrequently, and only like a spirit or shadow with a fuzzy outline, but I can always feel his prescence even if I can't see him.

I have been lucid dreaming for 7 years now, and a recurring DC has never been a phenomenon I've experienced until now. Especially one who it is implied I have an intimate relationship with. I've tried to just outline the situation and not detail the exact dreams I've met him in, but I may write up the series of dreams in my Dream Journal on here, if anyone's interested.

How should I deal with this DC? Have you ever had recurring DCs of any kind? Have you ever had a spouse or family exclusive to the dream world?

Thank you!

Perhaps he represents something you dislike that gives you that feeling of dread. I hate that feeling of dread and felt that when i was trying to get two girl characters that kept coming in my dream to stop bothering me. Here are a couple of things you can do. (1)talk to it peacefully and tell it to not come back.(2)Think of the character having positive qualities instead of bad ones. (3)Ask him what he wants. Whats his purpose for being present.Doing this worked for me when i had one that was pretty good in manipulating the dream setting and annoying me.

Thank you @DawnEye11!

^___^ yea DawnEye is good with recurring DCs

LaCasati, you may be ignoring a part of you that actually likes this guy. That hidden part of you, like the back story, might be why you keep drawing him back into your dreams. Even though the overt,or obvious, part of you is very disgusted my guess is that something in you loves the experience he gives you

Please do journal your experiences dream journals are very fun. Especially a veteran LDer like yourself will have many great adventures to share

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Originally Posted by LaCasati

Thank you @DawnEye11!

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Your welcome : D I agree with Wisher about the advice and journal. I'm interested in reading what happened.

There's a little chapter in the book 'Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming' about problem DCs. Can't type up the whole thing, but here's the main parts:

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To have a good dream dialogue, you should treat the dream figure as being your equal, as in the example. The following questions may open up fruitful lines of dialogue with dream figures:
"Who are you?"
"Who am I?"
"Why are you here?"
"Why are you acting the way you are?"
"What do you have to tell me?"
"Why is such-and-such happening in this dream?"
"What do you think or feel about such-and-such?"
"What do you want from me? What do you want me to do?"
"What questions would you ask of me?"
"What do I most need to know?"
"Can you help me?"
"Can I help you?"

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Set a goal for yourself that the next time you have a disturbing encounter with a dream character you will become lucid and engage the character in dialogue.

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Stay and face the character,and begin a dialogue with one of the opening questions from the list above. Listen to the character's responses, and try to address his, her, or its problems as well as your own. See if you can come to an agreement or make friends. Continue the dialogue until you reach a comfortable resolution. Then be sure to awaken while you still remember the conversation clearly, and write it down.

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And there's a bunch more in there. But hopefully that's enough to help you a bit :)

I've been trying to get some recurring characters going, mostly my buddy Afiel, but he's pretty stubborn about it. I've had a lot of fun with him though, in the dreams where I can successfully summon him up. And he even remembers all the stuff we did in the last dreams :D So having a recurring DC can be awesome if they're your friend. Hopefully you guys can come to an agreement and become friends.

Thank you all for your advice!

@Wisher That's something I hadn't considered, that there's a deeper less accessible part of me that draws him back again and again. In the first 2 dreams he was in, I found him extremely attractive. In the third dream, and all thereafter, all my feelings for him have been dwarfed by this disgust and dread for him. So there may be something there keeping him a threat.

@Ashikael It seems like engaging him in a dialogue would be really helpful in understanding him and why he returns to my dreams, asking some of those questions. It would also help me work out the backstory between him and I that I can't remember. Thank you!

I'll write up the series of dreams in my DJ soon and number them (I haven't updated the DJ in a while anyway ha). I'm so grateful for all your advice and interest, this was something that was really bugging me.

EDIT: The first 3 dreams about this DC are now in my DJ

Interesting to read :)