Cursed with full awareness+zero control

I have been lucid dreaming since a little kid. And my problem is that 5% of my dreams are regular lucids, 2% of my dreams are non lucids and in 93% of them, I know that I am dreaming but I "don't do" anything to control things. In dreams I say "I'm in a dream right now." as if it is the normalest thing in the world. I observe people, I observe my reactions and surroundings. I don't go crazy and do crazy stuff (I wish I would). When I wake up I'm like "You're so stupid figurefly, you knew you were dreaming and you did nothing about it as always." I have certain dream "habits" like making fun of people, being rude, acting silly, running, flying, speaking with the creepy guy on the phone etc. But these feel like automatic reactions. I don't think about doing them and do them, I just do them and I know I'm dreaming. During dreams I constantly catch myself saying things like "Oh I love this place I visited this place in another dream too." "Oh I'll have some fun with these people they don't know we're dreaming."

Really, I'd rather have non-lucids and get excited.

When I control, I can. I don't get too excited or anything and it lasts long. I just need to reprogramme my brain to remember to switch into controlling mode when I realize I'm dreaming.

How do I do it? Auto-suggestions before bed?

You can always grab some notepad and start writing down what you want to do in your next lucid: describe how you will feel once you become lucid, how will you initiate your tasks, and what will you do if you fail. This allows you to add a bit of MILD to the party, which is very helpful to keep you focused on dream control.

Oh, and on a last note: you're already dream controlling simply by being lucid. Control requires focus, it requires you not to be dragged away from the dream plot and exert your will into the dream. Keep that thought in mind when you become lucid ;)

Your difficulty might not lie in control at all, Figurefly, but in memory.

During that 93% of LD's you might feel fully lucid, but you might be doing so without access to memory. If you can remember that you are not controlling anything during those dreams, it might help... you actually already mentioned this, I know, when you said "I just need to reprogramme my brain to remember to switch into controlling mode when I realize I'm dreaming," but it might be less about going into some sort of controlling mode (I really don't think there is one of those, BTW) than it is about simply remembering to remember -- which of course brings MILD back into the party, so if you're not already doing so, you might want to look into it.

One simple way to reconnect to memory during the dream is to take a moment to remember your sleeping body whenever you are lucid.

You know, it's amusing to see how excited you seem about joining Dreamviews because you make so many threads :lol: Your dream habits are also amusing :chuckle:

Maybe you can get into the habit of controlling things by doing different challenges. Like summon a horse and ride it, after you've done that make yourself 1 cm big and hang out in grass. You could check out the tasks of the month and year and try doing them. So you get out of automatic mode and actually have a goal and things you need to remember after becoming lucid.

Ginsan, I literally wasted my life on Yahoo Answers asking and answering. Any kind of thought/experience exchange is something I really enjoy. :rolllaugh:

I will work on my dream incubation skills and hopefully find myself in very awkward situations which will help me remember to remember and say A-HA :idea: Will check out the tasks of the month and year. Thanks!

I think the reason I spend so much time here is just to talk to people, to alleviate the pain of loneliness :( If I wasn't so starved for basic human contact, I would probably think about things by myself and not give a damn about what other people think about interesting subjects. Even though I got many interesting thoughts from the people here.

I seem to have gotten used to my own loneliness. I avoid human contact but at the same time I have a burning desire for it, it's complicated. I prefer interesting internet people over real friends to have coffees with and talk about the weather. I really do care about trying to see the universe from others' view points but at the same time I might, deep inside trying to satisfy my desire for contact.

I dislike most people because most people are boring at best, that's why I avoid talking to relatives, old friends and even my own family. I have a few friends and I felt a lot of love for them but recently it's been diminishing because I talk to them and see them so rarely that I don't even know if I like them anymore. I'm trying to get used to being alone since my friends' busy lives don't seem to include me, but I don't know how to do it and the pain is real. I can't rely on people to be there for me, nor should I expect it from anyone, even I care very little about other people's loneliness. So I need a solution. I might spend some time finding out what Buddhism has to say about this.

If you ever think you found an answer/solution, tell me about it too. Because the only solution I could come up with was nothing but putting the actual problem inside the fridge. (this is my way of "dealing" with everything) So whenever I open the fridge, I see my fresh problems smiling at me. I'm not sure if longing for basic human contact can be solved by anything other than getting that basic human contact.

I'll let you know xD That made me laugh, maybe because it reminded me of someone.. Me! :chuckle: Do you think LDs can fix this? If you spent time with nice people every night, would you still long for real people? I don't know if it will erase the problem but I think it will get you pretty far, judging by the 5-10 minutes of cuddling I had yesterday and how it made me feel the day after.

ok. so i would do what has already been suggested, use the MILD technique to remind yourself to take control once lucid. its funny, i do the EXACT same thing sometimes. i just casually mention "hey, i'm totally dreaming".... but i just carry on like its totally normal, and don't do anything. sometimes i think this is a good thing, but it is definitely a low level of lucidity. its different from other lucid dreams where i do not take control, because in the other ones i've had the option to alter the dream, but chose not to - which i actually think is difficult and powerful. if you have the option to do whatever you want and choose to allow the dream to play out like it normally would... it can be a very interesting and revealing process. good luck!

Thanks a bunch opalwolf!