The only thing stopping me from lucid dreaming is a weird feeling I can't describe, advice please!

I have the alarm to wake me up to FILD, I dream journaled for a while so I know how to do it, I have lucid dreamed before, and I've read extensively on lucid dreaming and know a fair amount about it.
Yet, I never try to. It always goes like this.

Wake up, think "Ok, tonight I will lucid dream. I am so stupid for not trying!"

Midday, think "Alright, I got this. I'm going to set the alarm when I go to sleep and lucid dream!"

About to sleep. Then, I psyche myself out of it. I don't know how to put this into words, so I'll try to describe it. I get this deep feeling of both demotivation and also fear. But not like fear where you see something scary down the hallway, but fear like I want to avert doing it at all costs and just this feeling that lucid dreaming is scary (But, again, not like scary down the hallway scary).
So you can see, I'm both super shitty at explaining the feeling and at lucid dreaming.

I also get this weird feeling that the dream characters are all artificial and are going to act super weird towards me (And weird in a negative way, like they may do weird bad things to me). I can't describe this feeling either, I wish I could. But I just get this feeling of bad juju I guess, the feeling you get when you make a decision and half way through made a terrible mistake and you are in danger.
I don't know how to explain these thoughts, but I don't want them anymore. I've sat for hours trying to convince myself that, objectively speaking, lucid dreaming is extremely fun and will make my life both more fulfilling and fun. And I know that it will do that, but my emotions disagree.

Idk, this is a jumbled mess. Someone help!

I want and I can be lucid! It is normal and healthy!

Everyone faces struggles when it comes to Lding, but if this is something you really want to do you just have to keep trying despite the negative feelings, and remember your brain creates the world!! i wish you the best!

I had this for a couple weeks once, just go to sleep with the intention of lucid dreaming even though you feel a little scared or whatever. Just ignore the feeling and get on with it.

My guess is that you (and your subconcious), think of it as something unnatural/alien. And yea, it seems pretty far out there, to be awake inside your own head.
But once you read up on it, and start to get an understanding of how/why things happen, you'll start to accept LD'ing as natural.

On a different note.
You dream every single night. So it's not the dreaming you're afraid of.
You are afraid of being concious :P Which you really shouldn't

Wow, I've got this too. I thought that I was the only one. Now me, I have these feelings and I know that they are there and I also know that the only way to make them go away is to show myself that there is nothing to be afraid of. You see, friend, I get this feeling almost every time I attempt to do this and whenever I do, I simply tell myself not to trust my own judgement when it comes apprehension. I remember I was telling myself this as I was drifting off to sleep. Funny thing is I just happened to become lucid as I was dreaming and I immediately became overcome with fear and doubt. I was getting ready to wake myself up when I reminded myself that I couldn't trust my own judgement when it came to apprehension and I continued on in spite of these fears. The first thing I did was speak to a dream figure as I would speak to a normal person and all of the dream figures were very friendly and I was at ease.

I can't say that the fear has gone away completely but it is fading as I continue to do this. The key was moving forward in spite of my fears and thus allowing them to fade on their own.