Experienced lucid dreamer slowly losing control after strange dream experience...

This is quite strange and I would like to see if anyone has any answers to my problem.. I'm almost 23 years old, I trained myself to lucid dream when I was 12 upon discovering the possibility of such dreaming. Since then I became strong in the respect of dreaming. Think the boys from Chronicle and their abilities, then add the ability to manifest not only objects, but people that I wished to have envolved in the dream. I could change an entire landscape before me with ease if I had pleased. In other words, when my head hit my pillow at night I become the closest thing I believe to a God that is possible. Going lucid itself was a cinch... I'd simply began dreaming, and within 10 seconds I would have known it was a dream and I would began doing as I pleased...

And then I had a strange dream.

I awoke on my bed, which is floating mind you, on a path of dirt towards a great door. On either side of me and this path I am on, Trees. Large and tall, but all the same exact size. Not randomly placed either, they are all in rows and columns, and I could see the horizon beyond the trees, and it's a very subtle grey along the horizon. I am lucid, but I do or change nothing. Why? Because this special dream was utterly beautiful. Never could I conjure this on my own in any dream state. The bark on the trees are heavily detailed, so is the dirt, and path. As if this were the Garden itself! As I approach this great door it opens, I'm still a good 20 feet away when it does so, and I can see that the path only goes far enough into the door to fit the bed and I. Beyond it is shrubbery, twice my height standing, and on all sides surrounding the bed stretching for what I discovered
very... Unpleasantly, went on for miles. The door begins to close as I take a look around, still seated on the floating bed. I say to myself "What a strange but beautiful dream.." and as I begin to speak the word "Dream" the doors seal shut and I'm flung at what feels to be a thousand miles an hour into the shrubs, turning "Dream" into a scream that begins to warp and turn into a very mechanical,synth-y type yell. I attempt full control, fail. I attempt to stop myself, fail. I attempt to summon a wall to stop me, fail. It's as if another being stronger than I is in control, and the scary part about it is that I could literally FEEL such a beings presence. I do only what I can do, and I thankfully taught myself how to do so, and wake myself up.

That was 7 months ago.

Ever since this dream every dream I have had I can FEEL that other entity, in every single one. Draining me of my power. within 2 months, I lost the ability to manifest people and objects. within three, I could no longer move objects within a dream. After 5, my flight speed had been seriously reduced. Last night? I could not fly. I could do nothing. I was just... Dreaming.. But fully aware that I was!

As well as this, my dreams have gotten... strange. They are beginning to tease me with my deepest desires.. To see someone I will never see again (THAT one utterly destroyed me. I awoke in tears.) To, simply put, punish those that have wronged me. Dreams that I would never manifest myself for it would break a sort of moral code.

I ask if anyone else has experienced something similar.. And if they could overcome it and regain control? Reality is honestly such a drag, and my dreams were such a beautiful escape of it. But now I've lost control of them and have to ride out the dreams laid before me.

Any help would be appreciated.

do you feel you have control in your waking life?

If you look at schema and the way they are created and develop, I would say that you created a dream entity that can steal your powers. Each time you believe it and he does it, it gets stronger. I would recommend
1) making friends
2) killing
3) resolving in waking

One of those 3 should do it.

Like the personabove said, it could have been created by not having control in waking, or just normal stress, or randomness, or maybe you created it and forgot! Haha.

But that beginning actually matters very little now for getting rid of It, just for not repeating.

Let me know if you have any questions. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by oneironautics

do you feel you have control in your waking life?

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Sorry for such a long wait on the reply, been without computer. No, not so much. then again I never really did, I just kinda went with the natural flow of life. It's Why I liked dreaming, cause it [I]was[I] something I could control.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sensei

If you look at schema and the way they are created and develop, I would say that you created a dream entity that can steal your powers. Each time you believe it and he does it, it gets stronger. I would recommend
1) making friends
2) killing
3) resolving in waking

One of those 3 should do it.

Like the personabove said, it could have been created by not having control in waking, or just normal stress, or randomness, or maybe you created it and forgot! Haha.

But that beginning actually matters very little now for getting rid of It, just for not repeating.

Let me know if you have any questions. :)

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Well that's just annoying. LOL. And I do have a question or two. When you mean "Make Friends" Do you mean manifesting projections of my actual friends in waking life for my dream world, or projections of randoms, people I create along with personalities, to befriend? Cause I kinda have a small problem with the firstmost so. I'm an avid believer in mutual dreaming, and believe I discovered a method to actually creating one, and part of the process involves manifesting the person you want to share a dream with. The problem with it is that I tend to keep what I do dreamwise private, and would rather not accidentally summon a friend to my world lol. (If you wanna know the process of how I believe in starting a mutual dream I've decided to make a post on it soon!) And Kill who, or what? Should I just kill every projection I see in hopes that this entity is watching me close by and I get lucky? lol

I've noticed a new phenomenon in regards to this topic. I'd say this entity is starting to get a little more hands-on, and it's causing some weird affects to my dream worlds. I flew out of a house last night to walk around in a park nearby, just having a little fun. Then when I looked back at the house the house was surrounded in some dark aura... So I quickly flew back to investigate. as I approached the door the whole world became "Glitchy" like I were in a computer program that was bugged, and that's not the first time I've seen that, it's just now I can confirm that it's related to this entity. but it quickly put itself back together and I walked inside. I felt a sort of demonic presence, as I have felt in the waking world. (I'm very in-tune with the paranormal, my buddys house is haunted and I absolutely love talking to the spirits there, they even taught me to tell the difference between a spirit like them that's gone bad and a demonic spirit, so I know what I felt.) I have tangoed with demons before in the waking world, and I'll tell you now it is not pleasant, and makes me thankful that my bestfriend is a witch. That being said I was not prepared to fight a demon in a dream, so I used everything I had and busted out of the house, waking up shortly after. I'm now worried that this entity may be a demon that I thought I had expelled from my from my home long ago, which may have been true but decided to take refuge in my mind.

how about doing a cleansing, spring is a great time to clean house :-)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by oneironautics

how about doing a cleansing, spring is a great time to clean house :-)

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I cleanse the house monthly lol. As I said my friend is a witch, and taught me some cleansing techniques besides just burning white sage in the house.

I unfortunately have to, often. Being in-tune as I am, some people would call it being a medium, isn't as pleasant or as fun as it sounds at times. Don't get me wrong there are some kind spirits out there. But there are bad ones, not necessarily all demons but just bad. And some aren't bound to their place of death. They flock to people like me cause well, we can see them more clearly and better sense their fuckery. And that just won't do in my home, I take care of my grandfather that cannot have another heart attack, and these spirits would definitely try to scare him.

maybe you need to make it more clear to the spirits what your boundaries are, if you feel they are invading your private space you need to tell them 'contact me only on working hours' for example some witches will use crystal quartz and place around an area not allowing anything inside, in Thailand they build a small spirit house outside of their own home for spirits so they don't feel neglected :-)

Charley Morley calls every negative aspect in our dreams "shadow" in one of his books. He says that everything in our dreams is our subconsciousness. So you can see the situation from this perspective and try to find this creature while lucid and show it love , hug it and tell it that you accept it and love it uncoditionally. If you try to be sincere with yourself then the dream might change in positive way and you might feel freed and healed.
Hope this helps.
I am interested to read what happens next and I hope you get rid of it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by oneironautics

maybe you need to make it more clear to the spirits what your boundaries are, if you feel they are invading your private space you need to tell them 'contact me only on working hours' for example some witches will use crystal quartz and place around an area not allowing anything inside, in Thailand they build a small spirit house outside of their own home for spirits so they don't feel neglected :-)

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You know I totally forgot about barriers. My friend is a witch, and in every home he's laid a special red dust at every window, door, or opening to the home and says it keeps negative energy and spirits out.
I'ma need to get some of it from him next time I'm over lol.

Update:

I have found the entity. It's the living embodiment of my greatest mistake in life, one that not only I will regret for the rest of my life no matter the circumstance, but has also scarred my mind emotionally. It has now become a consistent person in my dreams, shoving it in my face every time I see it. I don't know how I didn't see it sooner.

I plan on conquering it by destroying it. It will not be easy. It wears a face that haunts me.

I'm glad you were able to pinpoint the source of your dreams, but i hope you remember that everybody makes mistakes in there lives and you will have to forgive yourself if you want to move on in your life, and accept the fact that you have grown into a stronger person. If you do go into war i hope its not on yourself but on the cause of the mistake, perhaps you didn't do enough research, or were not paying close enough attention to something.
also the most important thing about boundaries is that you have to make a strong intent yourself and not rely entirely on powders etc. sometimes b4 sleeping i imagine my apartment is inside a pyramid and i follow all the lines and map them out clearly so everything inside is calm and peacful :-) Good Luck

Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Scary bad self will change. :)

I'm not sure I will ever forgive myself for that mistake. Sad and very negative nancy thing to say, but unfortunately it's probably true.

Update though:

I dreamt of it again, and made my first attempt. It was sleeping on a bed. I came from behind it, materialized a gun and put it to its head. Before I pulled the trigger something (which I immediately discovered after the fact was IT) spun my body 90 degrees to the right, and there I stand, starring it in the face as it hits me so hard in the gut in an upward motion towards the stomach and holy HELL did it hurt, you know people say you don't feel pain in dreams but we all know that smack is a lie. But this hurt worse than anything I had ever felt, and I've been shot (Both in waking world AND dreams) and it wasn't even THAT bad. Like this punch shattered my soul, dude. I'm still working on invulnerability so that sucks, and my best option after that is rapid healing but that was of no use. As I'm doubled over I look up at it and try to bring the gun back up but as I do it hits me so hard in the face I wake up. Wanna know some trippy shit tho? I woke up and still felt the pain in my gut. I was forreal like O.o

That's pretty fantastic scary crazy man. We are pretty powerful at controlling our experience.

If you don't want to do the loving, self compassion path, another classic way of dealing with IT is to ask them what they represent in your next dream with them, and then ask them what you need to do to heal.

If it does represent regret for a mistake, wouldn't killing it be tantamount to shoving it down rather than truly coming to terms with it and letting go?

OK so several updates,

Update 1: It is actually NOT the manifestation of my greatest regret, like I had assumed. I had a very detailed conversation concerning the past few years of my life to my witch friend and he got suspicious, and claimed that it actually sounded like I had been legitimately cursed, or someone had sent an evil spirit to torment me. So naturally, we performed a ritual to test his theory and it yielded a positive result for a curse, which would also explain the demon/evil spirit in my room we mentioned before. But it's this spirit trying to trick me into thinking regret and sorrow were the cause of this dream entity so I would seek the wrong assistance in riding myself of it. Sneaky little prick. We are preparing the ritual to remove the curse soon, it just takes quite the few materials and a few hours of free time.


Update 2: It's beginning to alter re-occurring dreams I've had for years. Last night I had a re-occurring dream that I get every few months, where I myself am a form of wizard along with a female companion are running from a police force that are non magikal in nature. Usually me and this woman would run into a forest at the end of the dream and shortly after I would wake up. Mind you I am semi-lucid for this, just didn't stabilize and take control cause I like this dream, I learn a new spell every time I have it lol. But before we reach the forest I yell "we're almost there!" And for some reason the woman stops, and turns to face this police force that would easily overwhelm us after just a few minutes, and just stands there. I stop to and ask what she was doing, to no answer. I thought it was strange but not strange enough to do anything, so I just carried on to the end of the dream. I get to the treeline and I stop again, and turn to see her being subdued. and I think to myself "why is this one different?" And almost IMMEDIATELY this thing grabs me by the throat from behind and begins to lift me into the air. As soon as it happens I think "That's why!" And try to stabilize to fight it but it was too late, it grabbed the top of my head with it's other hand and snapped my neck before I could stabilize.

People have different understandings of how the dream world works. And maybe your frustrations stem from a misconception about it's nature.

Couldn't this all just be your unconscious messing with you. Maybe just to get your attention. Or to show you that you're not the all powerfull god you were allowed to think you were? I don't know.