Just as any topic in lucid dreaming, even technique, it is vast and sometimes vague. I cannot say what is normal for DG's, as it's been a while since I have regularly participated in this forum, but what I can say, is what I know, personally, about DG's.
My particular DG, and it is indeed my only DG, met me in my very first lucid dream, and made me lucid. In the dream, he was beckoning me to come into a strange building, and the instant I saw him, he made me lucid somehow... it's worth noting that every time I see him, there's a strange sixth sense presence that tells me it's him, and not his appearance, which always changes, outside of he is never white, always male, always has the sixth sense sensation, and his hair is always crazy looking, often Einstein-esk. He has been young, he has been old, but he always follows those guidelines.
Since my first meeting with him, in which he sent me into a strange dream-state that altered my consciousness while awake at first too (long story), he has always showed up to help in some manor/way... either to make me lucid, or to help with, say, a stubborn dream aspect; for example: one time I couldn't fly, he showed up, and made flying possible.
So, 1: I really have no idea about standard protocol for meeting a DG, but I can tell you an idea that may lead to it, however, I suspect you have already tried. In my dreaming, I can talk aloud, to the dream as a whole, and ask for things, almost always with those things happening... if you are like me in this regard, perhaps try, or retry, asking the dream to present you with your DG. I don't really have any other tips outside of this, and perhaps keeping a keen eye for recurring characters.
2: From what I do remember about others comments, you can indeed create a DG, but my efforts in this have lead to nothing but my original DG over thousands of LDs, and many failed attempts to create a DG. I've tried making a DG poof in front of me, and then asking it if it is a DG, often with a yes, sometimes with a no, but like you said, the ones that said yes, were of no help, and didn't recur. I've also tried finding either random DCs, or DCs that seem to know much more/are more lucid, or even find DCs that have actually said they realize they are dreaming, and then tried to make them my DG with instructions to make me lucid and help me when they can, to no avail. If you haven't tried, asking a lucid DC to become your guide is as best a way about it as I can think of.
3: As I stated above, while most peoples DGs appearance stays the same, mine, personally, does not, outside of non-Caucasian male with messy hair.
4: Like I said before, a DG can instill lucidity or help you in your lucid endeavors. If your a spiritual person, which I suspect you are not, there are other spiritual aspects I suspect they can do, but have not confirmed or denied such a thing.
Hope I've helped - best of luck!
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