Coming back after a while, could use some advice (DILD)

Hello, everyone. Let me explain my situation:

So, a year ago I tried to lucid dream. I had a good dream recall thanks to my dream journaling but had trouble trying to remind myself of reality checks. I can remember it kinda worked a few times (None of which I managed to stay fully conscious, I couldn't control anything and it only lasted for a few seconds), but due to some reason I can't remember, I just stopped.

Now, after such a long time, I want to try and do it again, maybe with a little more enthusiasm. So, what advice you guys could give to someone who's basically just starting, but with a bit of previous knowledge?

(for the record, I have a stable sleep cycle of roughly 8 hours, I go to bed at 12-01 AM, and get up at 8-9. My dream recall gets pretty consistent with a few days of DJing, but, as I said, I have a lot of trouble trying to remind myself of doing RCs. Also, WILD just doesn't work for me, it always ruins my sleep, that's why I want to go with DILDs.)

My way of getting myself to do reality checks while awake tends to be by setting an intention to remember to check under specific circumstances/signs and also whenever anything particularly unusual happens, like a synchronicity and such other things. Even so, I actually have a universally poor time actively getting myself to do RCing whilst dreaming even when it's actively on my mind during a waking day; I kind of know why and I'm just saying this so you know the context of my experience.

I think if you've had some success with this before, then getting back into it shouldn't prove to be too much of an issue for you. Think about what did work about your previous experiences, and with regards to what didn't work, see those times as something that are unknowns right now, rather than as previous hard failures or anything like that. Sometimes things that didn't work before can then start working on fresh attempts. That said, if something like WILD really wasn't good at all for you because of messing with your sleep, then it's also totally fine to avoid it. :)

Although lucidity is rare for me, on average my lucid moments in dreams have gotten progressively longer, so I think that this will just generally improve as you journal both your lucid and non-lucid dreams. It might not be very noticeable in the short term unless you're getting to do a lot of practise work around it. There's still variation in the length of my lucidity, to be sure, but my very first lucid dreams were incredibly brief compared to most I have had more recently. Over the years I have felt myself to become more and more present in my non-lucid dreams, which is probably part of it for me too.

Welcome back.

Having short lucid dreams can be frustrating, but it’s best not to dwell on it too much. The trick I’ve found is to not worry about the dream ending and they tend to last longer. Easier said than done I know. Have a few dream goals in mind so when you get lucid you have something to put your focus on instead of worrying about the dream ending. Pursuing and achieving dream goals is also a good way to maintain your enthusiasm. Start with a simple, quick to achieve goal and that way even if you’re lucid is short you’ll have achieved something.

Like DarkestDarkness, I tend to focus on dream signs as RC triggers. I’m not referring simply to recurring dream elements and themes, though those are good opportunities as well, I tend to aim for broader signs, that are sometimes subtle but more abundant. Signs such as strange oddities, or things out of the ordinary. Dramatic, emotional and amazing moments I find are good as well. Study your dream journal for these signs and then set an intention in the morning to spot them and RC as soon as you pick up on one. Treat it like a game and count how many you spotted at the end of each day. If you only spotted three, aim for five or more the next day.

Even if you hit your RC target for the day don’t have the mindset that that’s it until tomorrow, the nighttime is where you need to re-set your intention again, to perform RCs when ever you spot these dream signs. Waking up briefly after 5-6 hours of sleep and re-setting this intention to perform an RC in the near future and going back to sleep I find helps a lot as well.

Just be patient, experiment and don’t get discouraged if you’re not seeing results. Enjoy your none lucid dreams and see every bit of progress as a success. You’ll get there again!

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Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

My way of getting myself to do reality checks while awake tends to be by setting an intention to remember to check under specific circumstances/signs and also whenever anything particularly unusual happens, like a synchronicity and such other things. Even so, I actually have a universally poor time actively getting myself to do RCing whilst dreaming even when it's actively on my mind during a waking day; I kind of know why and I'm just saying this so you know the context of my experience.

I think if you've had some success with this before, then getting back into it shouldn't prove to be too much of an issue for you. Think about what did work about your previous experiences, and with regards to what didn't work, see those times as something that are unknowns right now, rather than as previous hard failures or anything like that. Sometimes things that didn't work before can then start working on fresh attempts. That said, if something like WILD really wasn't good at all for you because of messing with your sleep, then it's also totally fine to avoid it. :)

Although lucidity is rare for me, on average my lucid moments in dreams have gotten progressively longer, so I think that this will just generally improve as you journal both your lucid and non-lucid dreams. It might not be very noticeable in the short term unless you're getting to do a lot of practise work around it. There's still variation in the length of my lucidity, to be sure, but my very first lucid dreams were incredibly brief compared to most I have had more recently. Over the years I have felt myself to become more and more present in my non-lucid dreams, which is probably part of it for me too.

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Thank you so much for all the help!
regarding these "specific circumstances", could you give some examples of good moments for doing a RC? Can examples even be given in this case, or is it something really subjective?

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Originally Posted by Tiktaalik

Welcome back.

Having short lucid dreams can be frustrating, but it’s best not to dwell on it too much. The trick I’ve found is to not worry about the dream ending and they tend to last longer. Easier said than done I know. Have a few dream goals in mind so when you get lucid you have something to put your focus on instead of worrying about the dream ending. Pursuing and achieving dream goals is also a good way to maintain your enthusiasm. Start with a simple, quick to achieve goal and that way even if you’re lucid is short you’ll have achieved something.

Like DarkestDarkness, I tend to focus on dream signs as RC triggers. I’m not referring simply to recurring dream elements and themes, though those are good opportunities as well, I tend to aim for broader signs, that are sometimes subtle but more abundant. Signs such as strange oddities, or things out of the ordinary. Dramatic, emotional and amazing moments I find are good as well. Study your dream journal for these signs and then set an intention in the morning to spot them and RC as soon as you pick up on one. Treat it like a game and count how many you spotted at the end of each day. If you only spotted three, aim for five or more the next day.

Even if you hit your RC target for the day don’t have the mindset that that’s it until tomorrow, the nighttime is where you need to re-set your intention again, to perform RCs when ever you spot these dream signs. Waking up briefly after 5-6 hours of sleep and re-setting this intention to perform an RC in the near future and going back to sleep I find helps a lot as well.

Just be patient, experiment and don’t get discouraged if you’re not seeing results. Enjoy your none lucid dreams and see every bit of progress as a success. You’ll get there again!

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Thank you for the words of encouragement! I was wondering, what if most of my dreams are set in places where I don't visit frequently IRL, doing things I don't really do, and with people that I don't see often? Most of my dreams are either set in places I don't go to regularly, and the dream characters are either IRL people whom I don't talk to on a regular basis or fictional characters. Doesn't it get harder when you don't have frequent settings/characters?

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Originally Posted by DaffodilSum6788

(...) some examples of good moments for doing a RC? Can examples even be given in this case, or is it something really subjective?

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Although there is a bit of a subjective element to it, there are some universal concepts that can be applied. Tiktaalik has already mentioned this fairly decently when he said this:

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Originally Posted by Tiktaalik

I’m not referring simply to recurring dream elements and themes, though those are good opportunities as well, I tend to aim for broader signs, that are sometimes subtle but more abundant. Signs such as strange oddities, or things out of the ordinary. Dramatic, emotional and amazing moments I find are good as well.

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There's not much I can add to that if I'm honest. :)

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Originally Posted by DaffodilSum6788

(...) what if most of my dreams are set in places where I don't visit frequently IRL, doing things I don't really do, and with people that I don't see often? Most of my dreams are either set in places I don't go to regularly, and the dream characters are either IRL people whom I don't talk to on a regular basis or fictional characters.

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Depending on how this goes for you, it can be a good way of setting intentions around broader signs as Tiktaalik has mentioned; in a way you could say that you could set an intention to RC by expecting the unexpected. Ideally this is something you can do on your run up to bedtime and whilst actually in bed too, while keeping in mind that for the next hours you're going to be asleep and likely dreaming too.

In any case, for me this is actually related to what I was on about when I said I have difficulty actually performing RCs in dreams. My dreams often have locations and other dream content based on games I play and apart from that, a great number of my dream locations only have a very distant relation to real locations I've been to, often meaning that many of my dreamed locations are mixes of many different sources. Because so much of my waking life already involves surreal/imagined/dreamlike content (mostly because of art and games), it's seemingly very difficult for me to be truly surprised by almost anything while dreaming.

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Originally Posted by DaffodilSum6788

Thank you for the words of encouragement! I was wondering, what if most of my dreams are set in places where I don't visit frequently IRL, doing things I don't really do, and with people that I don't see often? Most of my dreams are either set in places I don't go to regularly, and the dream characters are either IRL people whom I don't talk to on a regular basis or fictional characters. Doesn't it get harder when you don't have frequent settings/characters?

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I’m not sure I fully understand what you’re asking but you can definitely use “unfamiliar locations” as a dream sign to RC to. I know because I’m currently experimenting with just that! Most of my day to day involves me being at home or work, so whenever I find myself any other place, a store, a cafe, a park, even if it’s somewhere I visit frequently I’ve started doing RCs. It’s actually working really well for me and if I remain consistent it could turn out to be a very effective RC trigger. It’s a strange feeling but when you set that intention to notice when you’re in these unfamiliar locations you start to get a sort of sixth sense for it. My mind quite reliably alerts me when I’m in a location I don’t visit regularly. I’ve had quite a few lucid dreams so far from this but I think it will take time to become consistently reliable. If I get lazy and ease off doing this for even a day or two I lose the ability to notice. It’s definitely something you have to stick with and do consistently. I also remain aware of other dream signs as well so that I’m not putting all my eggs in one basket. Awareness of oddities is still by far my most reliable lucidity trigger. The same approach could definitely be applied to people/ characters I’m sure. I just find people harder personally because I don’t meet a lot of new people day to day and nearly always forget to RC when I’m in conversation. I’ve had lucids in the past though when I notice I’m in a room full of people I don’t recognise.

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Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

in a way you could say that you could set an intention to RC by expecting the unexpected. Ideally this is something you can do on your run up to bedtime and whilst actually in bed too, while keeping in mind that for the next hours you're going to be asleep and likely dreaming too.

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This is a good way of putting it. Remain vigilant at all times, day and night.

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Originally Posted by Tiktaalik

Most of my day to day involves me being at home or work, so whenever I find myself any other place, a store, a cafe, a park, even if it’s somewhere I visit frequently I’ve started doing RCs. It’s actually working really well for me and if I remain consistent it could turn out to be a very effective RC trigger.

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Hmm, I think I get it! So, whenever I have an experience that deviates from my routine or visit a place I don't regularly visit IRL, I should do a reality check. From now on, I'm gonna do just that!

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Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

Ideally this is something you can do on your run up to bedtime and whilst actually in bed too, while keeping in mind that for the next hours you're going to be asleep and likely dreaming too.

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I used to do that before, setting up the thought that I was gonna start to dream as I was falling asleep. It actually helped considerably, although it was pretty hard to stick to.

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Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

My dreams often have locations and other dream content based on games I play and apart from that, a great number of my dream locations only have a very distant relation to real locations I've been to, often meaning that many of my dreamed locations are mixes of many different sources. Because so much of my waking life already involves surreal/imagined/dreamlike content (mostly because of art and games), it's seemingly very difficult for me to be truly surprised by almost anything while dreaming.

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That's exactly my situation! I most of my dreams involve elements of my waking life mixed with elements and characters from games I played, or things I've watched. It makes things kinda harder, but now, I'm sure this'll all get easier from now on.



Huge thanks for all the help, guys, I'm sure I've been able to learn and re-learn a lot of things thanks to you two! I managed to get back to dream journaling yesterday, and I'm gonna get started with these tips right away! Thank you so much!

Welcome back! For one thing, you could open a workbook in the DILD class DVA section of the forum. (I'm a teacher there, along with Fogelbise)! Having a workbook helps you to track your progress and ask for feedback. You can also do the same with this thread here if you like :). I like the opening of a class workbook because it really cements your intention to get serious about DILDing :).

For another, I recommend (re-) reading LaBerge's ETWOLD, chapters 1-3. I try to re-read this once a year in any case, it always ends up refreshing or motivating a portion of my practice. And do what he says. Sounds like you have the DJ part down pat, that's great, but there's a lot of other good stuff in there: PM exercises, intention/reflection moments, goal setting.

DILD really benefits becoming very familiar with your dreams: not just dream signs, but the *feeling* of begin in a dream. Once you get back to having very vivid non-lucids, the kind where you wake up and think "Whoa...you mean *that* was a *dream*!?", you will fully come to believe that at any time, any conscious experience *could* be taking place in the dream state. Never assume you're awake just because you're having a vivid experience! Always take time to stop and seriously question your state. And not just waking/dreaming, but what is your state of mind? Confused, alert, emotional, etc. Learning to track your state of mind is also very helpful for DILDs.

MILD is great for DILD, both night-time classic MILD and what I like to call daytime MILD: visualize a dream scene, see yourself in the dream recognizing it as a dream, and tell yourself "I'm dreaming! I'm dreaming! I'm dreaming!", getting lucid, and pursuing your dream goals.

It is very very helpful to have concrete, specific dream goals that you are excited about. For me, simply the general goal of "I want to be lucid in my dreams" does not seems sufficient. Concrete goals really help both in getting lucid, and in staying lucid: if you move from goal to goal in your dream, you can really stretch out the length, it helps to stay engaged in the dream environment.

Reality checks are a tool to determine your state (waking / dreaming). They help you get lucid but do not *make* you lucid. What gets you lucid is paying purposeful attention to your experiences, being aware of and reflecting on your experiences. In short, "being lucid" during the day will translate to being lucid in dreams. The RC helps you cement budding lucidity once you have that "hey, this is weird/dreamlike" spark, and that spark comes from critical reflection and contemplating your state during the waking day.

Hope that helps and gets you started!

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Originally Posted by DaffodilSum6788

Hmm, I think I get it! So, whenever I have an experience that deviates from my routine or visit a place I don't regularly visit IRL, I should do a reality check. From now on, I'm gonna do just that!

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Yeah, that’s right. Like I said, it’s probably best to not rely on just this as a trigger, as it may work well for me but you may find something else that’s more effective for you. It’s worth experimenting with though, so let me know if you find it useful.

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Originally Posted by DaffodilSum6788

That's exactly my situation! I most of my dreams involve elements of my waking life mixed with elements and characters from games I played, or things I've watched. It makes things kinda harder, but now, I'm sure this'll all get easier from now on.

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You can always RC whenever you’re thinking about, or watching a character from a game/ movie that regularly appears. It’s about connecting those ideas. “Game character” = “I could be dreaming”.

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Originally Posted by FryingMan

Reality checks are a tool to determine your state (waking / dreaming). They help you get lucid but do not *make* you lucid. What gets you lucid is paying purposeful attention to your experiences, being aware of and reflecting on your experiences. In short, "being lucid" during the day will translate to being lucid in dreams. The RC helps you cement budding lucidity once you have that "hey, this is weird/dreamlike" spark, and that spark comes from critical reflection and contemplating your state during the waking day.

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This is so important to understand. When starting out you feel as though the “check” aspect is the most important element, but it really isn’t. It’s the bringing your attention/ awareness fully to the present moment and accessing the situation you’re in. Quite often I never even get to the test part in a dream as simply reflecting on what I’m doing is enough.