My brain is trying to scare me out of being lucid - self sabotage or subconscious fear?

Hi everyone!

I have known about lucid dreaming for a while, and while I don't actively try to induce lucid dreams that often, I still have them on a somewhat regular basis. I have also had very frequent nightmares/stressful dreams (sometimes multiple times a night, 4-ish+ times a week) for as long as I can remember. I would say about 85% of my lucid dreams and many of my most lucid lucid dreams take place during a nightmare when I realize I'm dreaming and immediately start trying to wake myself up. Whether or not I'm actively trying to have a lucid dream, most of my nightmares transition into waking dreams, where I again realize that I'm dreaming and continue trying to wake myself up before something bad happens. I know I could be taking advantage of these situations, but that's usually the least of my priorities in the moment.

Another variant of this problem takes place when I do set the intention to have a lucid dream, which can sometimes result in a really freaky waking dream where there may be some type of creature in the room, or I actually dream that I’m experiencing sleep paralysis. I don't think I've ever actually experienced sleep paralysis, only dreamed about it, although I’m not 100% sure.

Part of me feels like my brain is trying to sabotage my lucid dreaming progress, since sometimes after becoming lucid in a normal, non-scary dream, my vision goes extremely blurry or I experience a strong (false) sensation that I’m waking up, leading to another waking dream or losing lucidity. I just don't understand why my brain tries to trick me into believing I'm waking up or triggers some other unpleasant experience whenever I try or succeed at become lucid.

It may be worth mentioning that I was terrified of “scary things”, the dark, etc. growing up and never wanted to go to sleep because I didn’t want to have a nightmare. I have mostly outgrown this phase, and to be honest, few of my nightmares really disturb me since I usually know that I’m dreaming and don’t actually believe I’m in danger. I just want to escape them asap because they’re gross and exhausting.

I do come from a religious background that believes a lot of different things are “demonic”, and while I do not consciously believe this, I’ve definitely had a dream or two where it feels like something is trying to possess my body.

I’m glad I’m able to have lucid dreams somewhat intuitively, but this is definitely not how I want to experience them. If anyone has had a similar experience or has any thoughts on what could be causing this/what I should do, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks so much!

Eden :)

Hi Eden,

thanks for your message and sorry you are having such stressful dreams and nightmares. It is my understanding that the "creature in the room" phenomena is a hallmark of sleep paralysis, caused by our body's perception of itself while we are experiencing REM atonia.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/para...leep-paralysis

It may be less that your mind is trying to scare you out of being lucid, but that as your dreams are often stressful or nightmarish, there is a natural reticence to lucidly experience the dream state. False awakenings are also common for me, or the drop back into non-lucidity. This is where persistence pays off, to become better at balancing between these two.

Its great that you are here, and others may have further ideas on how to improve your dreamtime.

Hang in there.

I had a nightmarish experience in one of my early lucid dreams.
I was being chased by three women, they were screaming and trying to hit me. I began running which made me feel even more afraid. "I can't run from myself" I thought as I turned around.
Now facing them I felt empowered, I possessed one of them like a spirit; my perspective would shift and I now saw out of her eyes, I lowered their fists, the other two attackers were now fighting each other. Like the first, I possessed and passified each of them.
I turn to the first attacker and with my finger I drew an x on my cheek, giving them permission to hit me. Their fists were still up, ready and wanting to hit me, but they didn't throw the punch, If her her face could talk, it would say "you're not supposed to do that!". I began walking away when I heard her shout "Wait!" She had a disappointmented look on her face.
-They didn't want me to go.

Basically, running away from and rejecting fear fuels it.
It's best to either not react or confront it.

I try and remember when I drew that x when I feel anxious or afraid.

You can try different techniques that may help with lucid dreaming. For example, start keeping a dream journal where you write down your dreams every day. This may help increase your awareness in dreams. Additionally, regular meditation practice before sleep can also help in controlling nightmares. It's also worth avoiding stressful situations before bed and trying to maintain a calm and relaxing atmosphere in the bedroom.

For me, false awakenings, or the relapse into non-lucidity, are also frequent; it may be less that your mind is attempting to scare you out of being lucid than that there is a natural reluctance to experience the dream state lucidly because your dreams are frequently stressful or nightmare-like. This is where it pays to be persistent in order to improve your ability to balance between the two.