-=Request : Advice=-

Dear Dream View Readers and Writers,

ok, i'm gonna level on you a bit, first i'm gonna get into a bit of history of myself since it kind of matches with the question :

Ok, I am the youngest of 4, 2 older sisters, and one older brother, well my brother is 2 years older then me and happened to like to play pranks when we were growing up, and still does, and my cousin practically lived with us with the same prank instincts.

So, some examples, from the time I was little little, I was always scared to sleep in the dark, like, I slept with my parents till I have 4 years old, and then I would hate having the light off. Then I slept with my brother in his room, with seperate beds. And I would still leave the room so I could have the light, or do the hallway light with the door cracked thing. One time when I was a bit older, I saw a white thing in my closet, probably an illusion, another time I saw some eyes outside of my window, on the third floor... heh.. (tri-level house), so one of my problems is I'm very visual.

Ummm, I have known about such things like the Bible since I was 3 years old. And since I believe in it, I also believe in some more supernatural stuff. Or at least I dont turn things down right off. Like angels, demons, yes I believe in. And for anyone who has read some of the bible, some of that stuff for a 3 year old to grow up learning, haha little creepy ;)

Anyway! Examples of why I still dont like the dark :

1. Once when I was in my check under bed and closet and things stage my light went out... I was very scared to go change it but I was more worried to sleep in the dark, so eventually I sucked it up after pleading my brother to change it(which he didnt) so I am going in to change it and my brother jumps out from behind a desk, all I see is a dark figure, start screaming bloody murder... yeaaah
2. Went on a camping trip for a week, my brother and cousin started on the first day, mentioning how "Scream" lived only a few miles from the campsite, or that's where it took place, of course I didnt believe them. On like the 6th day, I am walking to the bathrooms, and my cousin in the full Black Robes with White Scream Mask jumps out with a butcher knife, I scream, punch him, start crying, run . And because it was so dark, the scream image is burnt into my mind.
3. Being very visual I can see things even if I only have an idea of what they look like, so my brother and cousin would go Hell *pause* O before I went to sleep one time. Everytime they did it I would see flames, and demons looking at me...
4. Whenever I would try to hang out with them, one of the ways they used to get rid of me was to tell scary stories, one of them was skeletons coming out of the ground, annnd I could see them in my mind.
5. My parents didnt really care if we watched "R" rated movies, soooo we have seen certain things, one that bugged me was "Nightmare's under the stairs" or something like that. annnd some other movies
6. I lived in the basement of our house, or rather, not like "basement" but lowest level, and I lived right next to the outside door, and had a big window, thus... ofcourse my brother or cousin would bang on the window every now and then.
7. I can't always control my mind, it's like when you dont wanna think something with all your might, and because of that you think it, or say it. Except to a farther degree of not being able to control my own mind when it comes to not thinking of stuff, getting better.
8. Turned 15 in march, I'm becoming more aware of death and mortality, and coming to grasp with death, immortality, eternity, so forth and so on.
9. Again, I can't always control my mind, so i'll be laying in bed thinking of things I dont want to, like questioning my faith is the biggest. thinking about things I really dont want too, so I usually stay on the computer really early, or I read a book and concentrate on that till I can't stay awake anymore.
10. When I was 5 years old my mattress had sea animals on it, instead of say flowers or anything, and my brother took a steak knife and was stabbing the sharks... and my leg kinda was ontop of a shark... sooooo I woke up to getting stabbed by my brother with a steak knife.
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Anyway, 7 and 8 are some of my biggest problems with why I dont lay down and sleep like everyone else, I dont really get tired. I don't feel this way when i'm with other people, when my mind is on something else, but when its me vs my mind... my mind somehow gets the best of me, and I start thinking about God and Eternity, and death, and what happens after, life's biggest questions hit me when I have nothing else to think about...

I think I made some progress with the brainwave entrainment, and I tried some of the breathing techniques in HILD(hypnosis induced) just the breathing and listening to my heart, but I was at a sleep over with a bunch of people, not laying alone with my own mind.

So I guess the question is how can I overcome this, how can I relax more, or brainwave entrainment works rather well but I am still thinking, just not about 7, 8 stuff, and WILD requires relaxation and open mind... sooo, I'm open for advice.

Sincerely and Thank You,
Ezekiel

Wow, that is pretty intense. You have the desire to change, that is always the first step and the hardest.

It is impossible to conquer everything at once and you are likely to fail, especially if you try to do too much at once. Set for yourself a series of very small simple goals. Also, there are plenty of support groups out there that you might think about contacting, I am sure you are not alone in this.

You have stated that you are a person of faith, have you prayed about this or spoken to your minister?

Good luck and chin up, you can overcome this and anything if you desire, believe, and work on it.

Well, I tried something last night, which was BWGen and HILD, and trying to think about that instead, and that helped alot, I also changed my usual prayer... seemed to help


Thanks guys,
Ezekiel

In regards to all this stuff that you think about at night, why don't you set some time aside each week to study up on these subjects and make that the ONLY time you think about it. When you start thinking about it at night, remind yourself that you've set aside a couple hours the next day (during the day) to think about these things. Or have a couple of hours here and there where you write in a journal all the thoughts that you normally have at night. Train or condition yourself to only allow these thoughts to occur when you determine it is okay for them to occur. Maybe even something like meditating might help. Just lay on your bed for an hour or two in the afternoon and get all these thoughts out of your head.

As well, I bet if you were exhausted by bedtime, you would pass out and not have a chance to dwell on certain things. Try getting up crazy early for a few days and having a few really good workouts as well. Maybe take some Valerian root. I find two around 5pm and two more around 9pm have me totally chilled out and ready for sleep. But you have to devote yourself to it and actually want to do it.

I used to think about all that crazy stuff when I was like 7 or 8, it sucked. I would question how the world started and how it didn't make any sense, how did atoms and molecules and all the stuff just appear out of nowhere, what happened before that, was it god, is there something else we don't know about, where does the universe end, it has to end somewhere, but it can't just end, IT MAKES NO SENSE! Pretty intense thoughts to be keeping a little kid up at night. So I do feel your pain.

Good luck!

In a way being so visual might be a benefit for lucid dreaming a Technique you should try is HIT (Hypnagogic Imagery Technique) or VILD (Visually Incubated Lucid Dream). I personally can't use either technique because when I close my eyes I see nothing.

I do understand thou what you were saying about thinking to much about immortality, eternity, and so fort. I used to do this a lot and it would cause me to question my "faith" (I didn't go to church or have and religious up bringing but did get the normal Jesus info and Christmas crap) so I would end up thinking that there must not be a god or Jesus and then would feel guilty about it.

When I was a kid I watched all sorts of R rated movies and none them really effected me much but then I saw The Exorcist and it scared the crap out of me. Before sleep time the thoughts of that movie would pop into my head and would freak me out all night long. I think that movie was so scarry because in some peoples view a possession could actually happen.

Anyway as I got older those thoughts didn't go away but I am able to deal with them better and they don't have any significant effect on me anymore.

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Originally posted by djk99
.....When I was a kid I watched all sorts of R rated movies and none them really effected me much but then I saw The Exorcist and it scared the crap out of me. Before sleep time the thoughts of that movie would pop into my head and would freak me out all night long. I think that movie was so scarry because in some peoples view a possession could actually happen....

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Ewwww....yeah. I have a scary movie that used to keep me up at night and sometimes still does. Even during the day it gets to me. I don't even want to post the name of it. I actually think it scarred me so bad that I should get counseling for it or something. It is a true phobia. But yeah, I spent hours letting my imagination run and scare the crap out of me. I think I've always been a thinker when my head hits the pillow and therefore have never learned to get proper sleep. But some of the stuff I mentioned above is pretty useful. If you get up really early and pack a lot of stuff into your day along with a really good workout and take something like Valerian root to calm your body, you should be passing out as soon as you lay down. But keep it up for a bit. Also, don't eat past a certain time. I find eating any time in the evening keeps me up really late and that's when the thinking starts.

And do you drink coffee? If so, what time do you stop drinking it?

Oh I just thought of something else, kichu said

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As well, I bet if you were exhausted by bedtime, you would pass out and not have a chance to dwell on certain things.[/b]

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I don't know if this would apply but you might want to check out Delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) in the sleep disorders post http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/viewtopic....p=123847#123847
its kinda like a nightowl disorder and if you suffer from this and are trying to go to bed at the wrong time I could imagine why your mind would be awake and thinking so much. I hope something I have posted has helped. :huh:

Wow guys, I was thinking long post not a lot of replies, thank you so much for your advice...

something I was saying is that because of these thoughts I read books till I physically knock out, ummm, I am homeschooled so I am able to go to sleep at say 2 or 3 am and just wake up at 10 am, but then I dont feel fully rested, last night I went to sleep at 1 am and tried HILD(hypnosis induced lucid dreams) and BWGen - The Dream Expierence 1.8.2. and tried going to sleep with those, the thoughts got shut out of my mind more, and I started concentrating on the breathing and body point techniques and I prayed a different prayer then I usually did and I just enjoyed the fact I was alive rather then dread the fact that it wasnt forever... I dont know it must've been the concentrating on my breathing and the meditation brainwave entrainment, it took my mind off the usual things and helped me to focus more.

Another thing, it helped me to concentrate more on praying and focus more, I dont know, just having a non-music beat in the background... maybe that was it...

Thank you very much for your replies I will look into the dream disorders...

I'm glad someone can relate... well not exactly haha, but I mean i'm glad i'm not alone ... Good Luck with it, I really think the entrainment keeps my brain on my heart, and my breathing, rather then the things around me.. and since Lucid Dreaming is like a goal of mine, I actually got off earlier then I would, said I'm gonna try this, and had a clear mind... for some reason since looking up this stuff I have had more control over it, maybe it's because I have a goal with my mind versus letting my mind control it.

Thoughts, opinions?

Sincerely,
Ezekiel


P.S. Thanks Again. !

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I personally can't use either technique because when I close my eyes I see nothing. [/b]

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It's semi-hard to describe how it works, I cant see very vivid, but if I think of how to draw a smiley face for instance, I don't exactly see the colors and everything but I see 2 dots and a line... or if i'm bored on the freeway I picture me on a motorcycle jumping off cars, but yeah... not colors or major details..

anyway,

Thanks again,
Ezekiel