Does your significant other read your dream journal?

Hello everyone,

I've decided to dedicate some time to increasing my level of lucidity while dreaming and it looks like the first step is to start keeping a dream journal.

So my question for the seasoned LD veterans is this. Does your spouse/significant other read your dream journal?

If so, do you record EVERY dream? I remember my dreams frequently enough to know there are some things going on in my dreams that would make my wife uncomfortable.

Heck, on rare occasions there are things happening that make ME uncomfortable. :D

So what do you do? Censor your dreams? Ask your significant other to not read your journal? Or just lay it all out in the journal and let your spouse decide whether or not they want to read it?

My fiance doesn't read my journol, but has been known to thumb through it once in awhile. Anyway, they are only dreams, and although I might be embarrased if I had a dream that was uncomfortable for me to think of, he knows they are just dreams. If I'm not lucid, it isn't really something I can control.

Hmmm although I have even blocked all views of my dreamjournal on this website, and even after that, leave out certain things.
The phrase "they are only dream" seems like something I should have thought of, why should it matter what other people think about my dreams

What significant other? :(

:P

Anyway, If I did, and she was interested, or asked, I'd let her read a few pages, hopeing that she would be understanding enough to also recognize they are only dreams.

I wouldnt let mine just for the fact that when you write down your dreams you write them so they appeal to you and you can remeber them. when a spouse is involved you might "censor" like you mentioned or change it some.

My hubbie has read mine but if you have a jealous other I don't recommend it. They will try to pick your dreams apart for their benefit.

well, i don't have a lover, but i would share my DJ if i did. and i would love to read their own.

love is about trust, openess, and unconditional acceptance. if someone would reject me for anything i dreamt (lucid or non-lucid) i wouldn't want to be with them anyway.
and if i read something in their DJ that made me uncomfortable, i would simply talk to them about it.

the longer life goes on the more i think i am alone precisely because i am capable of brutal honesty...and expect it in return :P

Trust, honesty, and openess are all ideals of a funtioning relationship. Although we strive for these goals in each of our relationships, it isn't something ( I think ) that most couples are capable of all of the time. At least, on a level, that they would be totally comfortable with sharing every aspect of their subconcious. For a number of reasons, but I think mostly out of not wanting to confuse the spouse. Our own insecurities play a serious role in how we function with one another on a day to day basis. Volunteering information that may prey on our significant others insecurities isn't always healthy in a relationship. I think that saying that you would "always" share them, and "...wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyway." Is too strong a statement, even for someone who is comfortable in his/her ability to be brutally honest.

My hubbie and I have are own computers and the unspoken rule is that we don't mess with each others desks or computers.

My dream journal is a Word document saved on my computer. So I don't think he's ever read it - but he certainly could behind my back if he wanted to (I don't have my computer passworded or anything). I don't think I'd feel very comfortable with him reading it because sometimes I have dreams about things that I would never do it real life. We have a good relationship, but if I look at it the other way around, I wouldn't want to read about him dreaming of anyone else (I'd be a jealous, too).

And even though he doesn't read my DJ, I still finding myself censoring some things when I log dreams. Like I don't even want to remember that specific part.

that's a real toughy

I record all the dreams I remember, unless I get distracted/lazy or something. But for the most part, they're all there. And yes, I linked my significant other to my online DJ and told him that I don't hide anything, and to "read at your own risk."

I don't even know if he reads them much or not, I usually tell him the dream first thing in the morning anyway, to help improve my recall until I can write them down. I'm sure some have disturbed him, but he knows they're just dreams. At least this way he knows that he can read them at anytime, and I'm not hiding anything from him. I think it would be harder for him to NOT know, and then imagine the worst, like I'm dreaming all these wild exotic sexual things with strangers or friends. Which I do sometimes :P , but at least this way, he doesn't have to fear the unknown.

I don't have a significant other at the moment, but if I did I might be kind of afraid to let them read it. I don't like to censor myself and I'd be worried if they thought I was wierd... even though I probably am. Heh.

It'd be great to have a Girlfriend/Partner interested in Lucid Dreaming too.

My sig other has been through my dream journal here. But I usually share my dreams with him before they are posted here anyway,

I write them out as I remember them, as embarassing or as freaky or as pointless as they seem. The only thing I leave out is excessive and graphic violence, and sexual situations. I'll just post something like...not for underage eyes...or something similar. But if my bf asks, I have no problem telling him about the 'unpostable' dreams.

Well, I don't have a significant other.

I do change slightly some things that I write down, but only in the way that I phrase stuff, rather than what actually happened.

I also rarely have sex dreams, so it's not really weird or anything if my parents find it.

The only people who get to hear all my dreams are my best friends. They need to know what goes on in my brain, and I can trust them. I would probably show a significant other if I had one too.

I do on occaision deliberatley not record dreams AT ALL if they freak me out. I have some quite odd penis dreams that never get recorded. For the sake of my stomach...

It seems the more i write in my journal the more dreams i recall the next morning .
Dont ask me why :oops:

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for your feedback. I think that a very small amount of discretion will go a long way in making my dream journal something that I can share with my wife.

Of course, after I talked with her last evening about the LD project I'm about to start, SHE was the one who had big, vivid dreams to share this morning while my dreams spun in tight little circles around the software problems I was working on before bedtime.

:D

Quote:

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Originally posted by Gez
It seems the more i write in my journal the more dreams i recall the next morning .
Don't ask me why :oops:

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Wow that was totally off topic :P

No, I wouldn't share my dreams with my girlfriend/ wife, maybe some of them i would tell her but I hate censoring my dreams because my mind easily accepts lies if i tell it to, thus I wouldn't actually be remembering the dream but instead, the lies I wrote down with no knowledge that they were actually lies, and lets face it... if we're censoring something the it must be pretty good :wink:

Anyway If my parents ever look in my DJ they might have a heart attack or something because in pretty much every LD or dream i have I'm having sex with something/ someone 8) but i don't hide it or anything, they haven't looked in it yet and its been a year since i started :lol:

Quote:

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Originally posted by SiKnesS
Trust, honesty, and openess are all ideals of a funtioning relationship. Although we strive for these goals in each of our relationships, it isn't something ( I think ) that most couples are capable of all of the time. At least, on a level, that they would be totally comfortable with sharing every aspect of their subconcious. For a number of reasons, but I think mostly out of not wanting to confuse the spouse. Our own insecurities play a serious role in how we function with one another on a day to day basis. Volunteering information that may prey on our significant others insecurities isn't always healthy in a relationship. I think that saying that you would "always" share them, and "...wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyway." Is too strong a statement, even for someone who is comfortable in his/her ability to be brutally honest.

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let me put it another way, i would always make inform-ation available, and expect the same in return.

and i know exactly what statements are too strong for me personally...that was certainly not one of them :D

i reiterate my previous statement wholeheartedly.

Quote:

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Originally posted by SiKnesS
Trust, honesty, and openess are all ideals of a functioning relationship.

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This is my relationship mantra. In High School, I noted it made the acronym "HOT." I feel if you can't tell everything to the one you're with, you're with the wrong one. By definition, a relationship in which the participants don't fully relate isn't all it could be. Even uncomfortable truths make a richer, more wonderful symbiosis.

JSmithPI

Quote:

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Originally posted by JSmithPI


This is my relationship mantra. *In High School, I noted it made the acronym "HOT." *I feel if you can't tell everything to the one you're with, you're with the wrong one. *By definition, a relationship in which the participants don't fully relate isn't all it could be. *Even uncomfortable truths make a richer, more wonderful symbiosis.

JSmithPI

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I agree with you there...if the person hearing something like that loves you, they're going to stick by you anyway, and not let it affect the relationship.
And yes, i do read his journal, and he reads mine. We sort of interpret each other's dreams.

My husband couldn't read it if he wanted too! Because my handwriting is so messy. But I do share my dreams with him, even the sexual ones. They are just dreams, and even while lucid you do things in dreams that you wouldn't do in real life even if you could. It would make me uncomfortable to know that he read my DJ in the same way that it makes me uncomfortable if someone is reading over my shoulder. I don't really know why. If I want to share, I'll share vocally. A DJ is the same as any other journal - private. It's not that I wouldn't want him to know what is in there, but it's just nice to be able to put your thoughts on paper without worrying how another will interpret it. We share everything, even if we think it may make the other person uncomfortable or upset. I wouldn't be married if that wasn't the case.