Need any Advice on staying in a LD. Closing Eyes Causes End

[You can skip the top and get to the question below, a little background information keeps me busy typing]

Hello everyone, through the last year after joining DV I have had an interesting time with lucid dreaming , and have yet to give up hope (not that I would). Starting with mostly fully fleshed out dreams I could remember every morning and write an always detailed entry in my journal, during this time I had my first and only WILD that lasted a few minutes, after this about a week later things hit the fan- I ceased remembering anything at all, and only had memorable dreams when I had been drinking the evening prior... and even then it only worked at my Friends house, as Alcohol and Marijuana seem to hinder my dreaming any other time. After being on Wellbutrin I began leveling out mood wise and beginning to remember some more dreams. Then after my contaminated substance induced Seizures I was hospitalised and placed on Topamax.

[A Side note, look for alternatives to Topamax if anyone ever suggests you take it, my god I'd rather have seizures- and sure it affects everyone different, but why bother risking Severe (Severe) depression from which there is no return, and the aboslute IQ drop of about fifty points, it makes you dumb as a bleeding bag of rocks.]

This continued another period of not remembering my dreams, being able to recall one once a week, which was always a completely pointless dream, thus my journal is quite empty for more than a month. I have no doubt in my mind that its true some instances of depression supress dreaming, and luckily for me I am off Topamax and on Atenolol and Trazodone- and both claim to induce vivd and strange dreams as side efftects. Not to mention it should reduce the negative dreaming effects from depression as well.

[Question Below]

In the last three days I have had three or more short Lucid dreams, where I realise someway or another that I am dreaming. This morning I was inspecting an indoor pool, and for some reason I decide to start flying, so I scull my hands and shoot up- then I realise I am dreaming and feel the usual annoying buzz (on edge, an "amazed" feeling) creep up on me instantly. Now I have a few choices in this predicerment, I could TRY to enjoy myself and do things (but fail very quickly and wake up), I could try spinning (this worked only once), I could rub my hands together, or attempt dream yoga. The dream meditation is right up my alley, so I have tried to use this to salvage my LD that last three days. Unfortunatly every time I close my eyes in the dream everything goes black, and upon opening them I appear to be awake.

I acknowledge the fact these could be false awakenings, yet it sure doesn't seem like it. I never used to get giddy in my original lucid dreams, and it REALLY pisses me off I can't control my own excitedness, what a bastard I am. I never remember to try rubbing my hands together, so hopefully I will both have an opportunity and sense to remember to rub my hands. Recognising dream signs is hard for me, I have reread my entire lengthy journal several times, and coming back to reread it for dream signs hasn't yielded anything obvious or worthwhile. Sure I sometimes have mechanical failure, or sometimes can't run, and I sure as hell fly alot, but I can't comprehend a useful method to make myself say "I am obviously dreaming because of this dreamsign."

It may sound bad, but after trying to instill RCs into my life I found I never remembered to do them, and managed only to get annoyed repeating it to myself all bleeding day, so now I continue to Journal, and see a have huge improvement over my original LS turnover, as they are coming in a higer frequency now. So my only problem is how to stay in the LD, I've decided to stay away from Dream Yoga (< I hate the word Yoga :mad: ) and seek others advice, and try to remember to Rub my hands. :idea:

Thanks for any help.