Stupidest Ways You've Missed Becoming Lucid

Normally my RCs never fail 95% of the time, but there was this one time I looked at the time and each time I blinked the time changed, and I just thought it was a glitch! That reality check almost always works! :facepalm:

I just gave a lecture on a new triggering method for lucid dreaming, it was based on using moral outrage to trigger. When your in a dream and you see something that in the real world would shock the conscience but realize it can't be real and become lucid. There were many skeptics in the audience, when my lecture was over I went to the back corner where all the hot girls were and then I sat down with them, then I woke up DOH!

The lecture itself had its good and bad points. The good thing was that I chose the nights previous dream to describe to them and I had excellent recall much better then a typical dream journal entry. The bad thing was I was describing a non-lucid dream.

No wonder the prevailing attitude about lucid dreaming in the auditorium was "its not real", but that was an improvement, because before the lecture they had a pseudo-Shakespearean attitude of 'kill all the dreamers'.

Oh well maybe I can use the concept and write an article "Conscientiously using the unconscionable to become conscious and reach the sub-conscience"

I posted this in another thread too but it's applicable. A couple nights ago I was doing a WBTB, fell asleep, and in my dream was attempting to do the same WBTB. Der da Der!

Me: *enters room*
Two guys: HEY YOU WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU
Me: *raises arms* Fools. *uses the Force to choke them*
Guys: *die*
Me: This is so cool! I thought it only worked on Star Wars and in my dreams!

I plugged my nose to do a RC, take a breath. I can breath. I think, 'Huh, must mean I'm dreaming.' I do it a couple more times and then go back to the dream plot, non lucid.

Does a reality check

Le me: *breathes me through plugged nose* hmm, thats weird.

Sees pixies flying around me

"New breed of fireflies, they look adorable. "

Wake up..........."why"

I mean, come on now! Let's see:

+ a full-sized adult pig jumped up on the couch and laid down with me. My thinking: "Pigs are great pets!". My mom's on the couch, too, and is taking just a bit too much enjoyment from the pig.

+ while I'm chasing the flea that jumped off of my pet around the carpet, I feel something brush up against me from behind, and I then notice that there are small pools filled with little fish dotting the carpet of my childhood home's living room. I stand up and notice that there is about 3 inches of water on this floor of the house. I look outside and see that the water comes from a flood that fills the area. [My childhood home is at an elevation of around 1000 ft.]. I go running for my dad to come look at the flood and help sandbag the doors, and to come look at the fish pools in the living room carpet. The water is almost gone when he comes downstairs. I see the water suddenly drain hundreds of feet down. "DID YOU SEE THAT!?" I cry to him. I also tell him to clean up the tadpoles.

Wasting Life at High Speed:

I just woke from a dream where a dead relative and I were trying to catch the bus, I saw a large bus coming but I wasn't ready. I kept trying to get ready but would end up less ready (dressed etc) and kept wasting time eating potato chips. Then my dead relative got on the bus and I waved it on wards (when it left it was a small bus), then even tho the relative hadn't taken the potato chips with them they were gone. I had noticed before it was 6:15 AM but now it was 8:00 AM then suddenly I noticed it was noon, I decided to take a few seconds shower, when I got out it was midnight. I yelled angrily "What it's midnight now?" :wtf: (my conclusion: I was wasting my life faster than usual) then suddenly it was 1:00 AM then it became bright outside, and I concluded it was now 1:00 PM and thought "That's more like it!" :-?

Right, I had two dreams back to back that were joined together by a false awakening.

One character from the 1st dream appeared in the 2nd briefly. The 1st dream took place in a church where I was receiving a chemistry lesson oddly enough xD This person who appeared in both dreams had caused people to cry in the chemistry class.

I then woke up, still in the church and on my way to geography. Odd, I know. I was walking behind this person who caused people to cry and discussed the 1st dreams' events with him, without knowing it was a dream if you get me?

Anyway, he said that none of that happened, and I actually followed up with;
"Oh, I must have been dreaming it then!" Despite me still dreaming and failing to realise that I was in the same location as the first dream with the same person.

I was officially kicking myself xD

i'd say the one where my wife was getting it on with her best friend in front of my dream eyes...

sure beats the one where i saw beermats flying all throughout the sky... i consider that more probable

Practically every third dream of mine is so ridiculous that it's really impossible to choose... Just three days ago, closets were transforming into skyscrapers in front of my eyes, so to climb them I just used a chair... In the same dream I had a memory of a stranded pirate ship in the middle of an alpine forest, and was trying to find it (for the first time).

But I think I'll give the prize to a reoccurring DC of mine. He is based on my mid & high school friend who constantly discussed lucid dreaming with me among other shared interests, but I haven't seen him in years. Yet, every couple of months he pops randomly into one of my dreams, and eventually starts talking to me about LDing... Very rarely I actually get the hint. Last I met that DC, we were super soldiers training in some tundra. He kept rambling something like: "Have you ever had a lucid dream? You know, where you know you're dreamin'. For all I know I could be having one right now. Hell, for all I know I could be in your dream."

All I replied was: "Stop talking already! Is that all you ever think about? Dammit man!"

...as I'm standing in a very awkwardly open bathroom setting, I stop and think to myself, “This is just a dream. I don’t have to worry about anyone watching me poop.” - Full DJ entry here.

FFS :facepalm:

I felt like a complete idiot this morning.

So I 'wake up from my bed' and look at my hands, they are all bruised like almost the whole hand. Instead of becoming lucid my reasoning was 'fuck, I must have had a really intense dream and hit myself with something' :(

Don't know how to quote parts of my DJ entry yet, but here is a copied text from a dream I had tonight:

"This one started as a WILD attempt. I WILDed and got to the stage where I saw a dream being formed. This time it was my garden, being shaped piece by piece from fractalish shapes. Then, I suddenly got excited since this time my jaw didn't clench, so my heart rate increased and I fell back to HH vibrations... I tried to save the situation but couldn't, and "woke up" opening my eyes. What I didn't realize was that I didn't REALLY wake up - this was yet another FA, and again I just forgot all my training to RC at awakening. :|
Anyhow, like many of my recent FAs, the first 15 minutes of the dream were constant attempts of re-WILDing, and then realizing the I can't even fall asleep, much less WILD. Everything looked normal in my room, just like in RL. I just kept turning and turning to no avail. Then I suddenly hear a woman's voice telling me to be quiet, that I woke her up and hinder her lucid dream attempts. I sit up, and find A SECOND BED IN MY ROOM (in RL, there is not even enough space there!) Questioning nothing, I apologize, and remember that she is my roommate, and that I'm at the "Dreamviews dorms". :cackle:
This was like a specialized building were people can have very good conditions of sleep to optimize lucidity chances... :rolllaugh:"

Walking through a trail near a highway and suddenly a giant white snake with black scales in the shape of "Lucid" slithers into the highway wrecking stuff....what do I think of?

"That is awesome."

1. I was looking around in a city and knowing that I'm in some sort of virtual reality. I was thinking something like "If VR looks like this - no wonder that people can't tell the difference between the RL".

2. I was riding my bike on freaking ice and I was saying to myself "I'll be aware when I'll be dreaming".

3. I was lying on my bed, had intensive vibrations and I freaked out, got up and turned on the lights (still in dream).

4. I was trying to type something on computer and I couldn't so I just thought that in dream it's impossible ._.

Had another one of these the night before last (14.01.2016: Alejandro González Iñárritu's next film; renovations; watching a LD documentary; punks):

"3. I'm at my childhood's home. Everybody is asleep so I sneak passed my grandma's room to the living room and turn on the TV. I go through the many different channels, but stop on this documentary about LDing (no, didn't even think to reality check :facepalm:). It mostly followed a couple in which both are lucid dreamers, some teenager lucid dreamers, and some loner lucid dreamers too. As the docu progressed that talked about they're techniques and beliefs, etc. For some reason the docu even followed that couple into the bedroom (not only during sleep), so the show contained nudity to some degree and I felt dirty watching their private life like that. But that was a minor part, no sex shown or anything like that... After the show ended, I grabbed a snack and sneaked back to my room to sleep. (without even trying anything from the show!!!)"

Joining DV made my brain a reeeeal "funny guy" -_-
Had another missed FA today (which becomes a daily routine), but probably won't put it on my DJ here since the whole night had a very NSFW theme...

Me while wrestling a snake: "I shouldn't have taken that B6 last night, it makes me dream of snakes."

I actually DID get lucid, but I was so stupid about it that it deserves to be posted here.

Basically, stuff was happening, I realised I was dreaming, but I was sure I was about to wake up, so...

Me: I'm dreaming, obviously! I'll wake up now, though.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: ...uhm...?
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: I guess I was wrong! Okay, this lucid dream is here to stay! Now what should I--

I woke up. :doh:

Not as if I was trying to dream in a lucid way in these occasions, but there was one time I was literally levitating like an Indian man on a flying carpet up the stairs to my bedroom so I could watch Mike Mozart's BlogTV broadcast. After I woke he was having a broadcast too.

(Yes, back when BlogTV was a thing.)

"Huh, you would think I'd have picked up by now I am dreaming in that sort of situation..."

Also the numerous times I turned myself female in dream didn't surprise me nor did the time I turned into Rainbow Dash. Yes. A cyan coat-colored rainbow-maned female Pegasus from My Little Pony. Not even THAT surprised me. Still, I'm capable of Lucid Dreaming... Somehow.

Lot of people misunderstand the concept of lucidity. You can see all the dream signs and still ignore them if your logic or memory isn't kicking in - this is where levels of lucidity comes in. You could even dream of doing RC and talking about LD and still not become lucid if your level of lucid awareness is still "unconscious".

Personally I had lots of dreams where i talk about dreams, LD, RC, and even have dreams of retelling a recent dream to someone and still missed becoming lucid. However, the times I do count is after I have have sufficient awareness and sometimes dreams are so stable RC doesn't help me confirm its a dream. Here i am becoming lucid, but feel i may have slipped into an alternate reality. So, I become overly cautious and eventually end up waking up. XD

I'm really angry at an adult-sized ghost for possessing a young boy, I yell at him "Stop that, you're getting his body all stretched out its right size!"

I had to stop smoking weed for court, and its been like a month, now I'm having multiple lucid dreams every time fall asleep, except their more like nightmares then dreams? does this happen to anyone else? their also so clear I can remember every little thing like watching a movie that im in and can control really weird

I was telling my sister I had lost the key to the house so had not been back to feed the dog - I was really sorry and had been running around everywhere trying to find her to tell her I had killed her beloved dog... And after I had told her this sad news I thought to myself -

'Is this for real? This sounds soo over the top... Has it really happened?' And then carried on:huh::roll:

I flew above a lake, and made small dives so that I just barely touched the surface and then I flew high up above the trees.

Obviously always happens in waking life.