common thread

[Silver Sphere]

Read the whole manifesto here: http://www.panix.com/~clays/Una/ He doesn't like liberals. I haven't read the whole thing yet, but I probably will sooner or later. He was serious enough about what he believed in to take serious action. Make of that what you will, I guess.

[evangel]

Originally posted by Second Attention What are you talking about? He only killed two people, one the head of the logging company, another a guy that helped exxon get away with their huge oil spill outside of Alaska. He injured a few innocent people, but that was on accident. Know what? I was confusing Kazynsky with MacVeigh the Oklahoma bomber dude (who is dead now, I think). Sorry for the confusion. :yumdumdoodledum:

[azwe_echo]

OK, my last post was cut short...class was over and I just had to hit "submit." Plus after having read everything posted since then, I feel like I should go into more detail... Originally posted by I Ditto (May 18th)...well except for the manic depression thing. I'm very creative. If you read my profile you'll see that I've been drawing ever since before I could write competently. More recently I've begun painting and just experimenting in general with different pens, pencils, paper, etc. I've always thought space was fascinating too. I'd love to associate peacefully with some aliens or be able to sail the universe like we do the oceans. Because of my enlightened interests, I've always had this \"loner\" existence. That's the way I want it though, because it's not that I'm trying to fit in and failing, I am who I am and I like being this way rather than \"common\"--having no interests outside of making ends meet. I'm very shy/backward as well. And like Jill said, despite being much better off than most people I know, I can't even manage to find the happiness they do..let alone enjoy life as much as those I idolize. I guess this dissatisfaction is because with enlightened interests comes enlightened perceptions--we are able to see more deeply into most things, and find much less contentment with what others do. Alright...with that said... I didn't mean to convey the impression that I'm negative. By being less content with everything than common people I simply meant that I am very emotional and curious. I enjoy indulging, for as long as I see fit, in things that interest me. I don't want to have to do this or have to do that...I'm not convinced that this "normal" way of life is the way it should be, or is even the way it really is. So I basically meant that I plan on making my life one long childhood Because if you think about it, we're born with everything we need. Sure, such an extremely naive outlook could prove dangerous, but only in a world where not everyone has this naive quality. I still think it better serves to expand our knowledge and existence. My school had a speaker just last week. I thought he was awesome. He was a lot like me: child-like and in touch with femininity...so others thought him to be weird. His laugh was high-pitched and like a child's and everyone laughed at him...I was disgusted by everyone. Anyway, I digress...what I wanted to say is that this speaker taught me SOOO much. He said that we're only born with two fears: a fear of loud noises and a fear of falling. Also, a child's self-awareness is next to non-existent...and it's much easier to enjoy life when you aren't wrapped up in what you think are your own flaws...of course, knowing what I know now, I realize that's almost a falsely fabricated sort of happines that only exists because of ignorance--I still believe to truly live you must become fully self-aware, and still retain the ability to be exactly who/what you want to be. The thing is, I've not always been self-aware, but I have always had this certain sense of my lack of it. What I mean is that as I've matured mentally, I actually realized that I see everyone I know completely differently. I notice things I didn't notice before...like now I constantly compare myself when I was 7 to myself now, as well as to my parents; I do this with everyone. I'm fascinated by how different people change as they grow up and how they really are this unique product of two other people's minds, emotions, thoughts, etc...that's the good part about growing up, but I'm trying to gain this without losing that naive curiosity I mentioned up there ^ I also wanted to comment on what Serinanth said. I'm the same way, Seri...but don't hold it back, it's great to be so in touch with yourself. Everyday at lunch I sit in the hallway and just wait for it to pass. And everyday this teacher, Mr. Dudley, always comes walking down the hall and sits in a chair to the left of me and does paperwork. Meanwhile Just around the corner of the hall is the cafeteria, where everyone is acting out-loud and eating with each other, even the teachers. So when I see Mr. Dudley everyday...I don't know, it's like what you said Seri...just seeing that he is, even if only for those brief moments, alone with me and just like me in a sense...it just fills my heart with warmth. Sometimes familiarity alone can really conjure some emotions because change can make me sad. I recognize and feel these connections with everything, whether they mutually feel them or not, and I guess what I'm looking for in other people is this like-mindedness for spiritual, cosmic, emotional things. And I hate to see anything come to an end...I enjoy change, especially good change, but still.. if I had things my way, nothing in life would ever come to an end. The birds would always sing, the crickets would always chirp, the stars would always shine, ambience would always be autonomous, day and night would co-exist and the warmth would never blow away...everything...I just want to experience EVERYTHING. Even the things that I know I'll see again someday, sometimes that's not enough...I hate to say goodbye even if only temporarily. Sometimes I get this feeling that there are SO many people in the world that I'll never know exist, though they might be someone I share like mind with, one might even be my soul mate (though I think I already found my same-sex soul mate). Or I'll pass someone by that I'll never see again..those kinds of things make me sad. I just wish everything could know that everything else exists, and that everyone could know all this too. I agree with some of what Ted Kaczynski said, but not all of it. Being such an exception in nearly everything that is, I don't apply to all his talk of being "oversocialized." I agree that his studies and everything largely encompass the world's population, but the fact that I understand it all so well has always allowed me to be an exception. This is the case with nearly everything...I have such an intiuitive understanding that if something is to influence me, I'll know it and I will willingly allow it. I don't get these guilty, depressing, frustrating, feelings of being inferiorly disordered or in disease. I feel the way I feel because of self-inspiration...outside influences are largely part of it, but ultimately it's my realization that outside influences play a role that allows me to be in such control of myself. And to also realize that everything is still very self-fabricated and that these things about youerself cannot be changed. I disagree about being liberal too. I think conservative ways are waste of time/effort/energy. That's one reason I want to move out of here; Indiana is a conservative state. It's not that I so firmly believe in something particular that I want freedom to express that belief, but rather just my belief that everything should be unrestricted and everyone should be open to ANYTHING. I just want to be in an environment that somewhat reflects myself. I believe anything is possible...in some space and time or another... Again, don't think I'm negative. I'm just very in touch with my feelings and emotions on so many levels...there are so many situations, and so many different ways to feel... and largely, the only unhappiness I have is that things are so unfair. If life was the way I want it to be, everyone could just make theirself... Whew!..I could speak forever about my feelings, even though it's hard for words to describe them. I'm sure this is much longer than I intended, so read it/don't read it...it's OK, it's as much for me as it is for anyone else, it's like a therapy for me...like I'm constantly reiterating my beliefs to myself about everything, constantly observing myself and trying to become the best "me" I can. EDIT: one more weird thing I wanted to point out. I often like to conduct my own little experiements. Like: I'll imagine what someone I idolize would do in certain situations and judge myself by what I think of that. And if I find myself to be the inferior one in any sense, I will try my best to become their equal. I try to pick up EVERYTHING I possibly can from others. If someone has a quality that is interesting to me, I'll study it and compare myself to it. I'll see the differences, and again, try to better myself. Or like on this board, I intentionally didn't answer the gender question because I don't want that to define who I am. I've obviously already disclosed my name ( ) but I still want my personality to come through in what I say...like I almost wanted to see if people could tell if I'm a guy or a girl by what I say. Basically this is because I've found that the most appealing personality (to me) can easily exist within a girl or a guy. The best mind is a perfect balance of femininity and masculinity..actually, I think femininity should outweigh the masculinity... Of course this has to exist withing someone with like mind overall... This all must make me sound like a weird person, but I'm capitalizing on it in my writing much more than I would lead one to believe in person. I mean, it's not like anyone can tell I'm this way...but then again, that's where I'm different...if there ever is to be someone out there like me, I'll most definitely notice. I'm so curious and observe everything obsessively! I even observe how others don't ovserve that I'm observing what they observe... y'know?

[Serinanth]

I discovered something, that gives me the warm fuzzies. I went out in my kayak one dismal rainy morning... The birds still sing when it rains out. Just that no one is there to listen to them.

[DreamCoil]

Well well well, look what happens when im not around, you all get depressed! j/k Yeah I get depressed, everyone does, but to me it sounds like you guys like being depressed, but if it makes you happy to be depressed then thats cool, atleast your happy. About creative people I think it's weird, creative people don't seem to get along well with more logical people (or whatever you want to call them) I remember drawing a picture in maths and the teacher came up and ripped it up saying that this is useless and I should be focusing more on my maths. I hate maths. So what where we talking about?

[A Lost Soul]

Originally posted by DreamCoil About creative people I think it's weird, creative people don't seem to get along well with more logical people (or whatever you want to call them) I remember drawing a picture in maths and the teacher came up and ripped it up saying that this is useless... Hrm.. interesting you should say that. My ART teacher did the same thing to me. She asked me why I was even in her class because I was wasting time. She hated my style and I wasn't going to get anywhere. She even made it a point to fail me. Heh. Here's a message for her: Go look at my DA site, bitch.

[azwe_echo]

Originally posted by Serinanth I discovered something, that gives me the warm fuzzies. I went out in my kayak one dismal rainy morning... The birds still sing when it rains out. Just that no one is there to listen to them. ...Yeah... Sort of like you feel whatever you think they should feel in that particular situation..but it's comforting that they don't feel that way, because that's what's so great, everything/everyone is so different and trying to understand it all is really..fascinating. EDIT: About the art thing, that is funny... It seems most people dwell on my abilities more than I do. I do it because I love to be able to create whatever I want (hopefully what lucid dreaming will grant me, eventually), but everyone else seems to think I should just drop everything and pursue an art career like there's no tomorrow. I'd love for it to grant me some returns, but by and large, I get enough enjoyment out of just having the ability. I'm lucky to be surrounded by such encouragement, because I'm known to be very humble...

[jill1978]

If I could create art for a living it would be a dream come true, but I might tire of it if I had to make things to sell, I get attached to my artwork and like to keep it or give it to someone special..... I dont know what kisynski is saying about over socialization....I think part of our existance is to get along with and help other people, not go live in the mountains and play god.

[evangel]

...if you think about it, we're born with everything we need. Sure, such an extremely naive outlook could prove dangerous, but only in a world where not everyone has this naive quality. In other words, a world where evrybody is ignorant? I think I understand your general point that a child-like approach to life is good. (\"The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these...\") But we are also born with one very negative thing: self-centeredness. [/quote]He was a lot like me: child-like and in touch with femininity... Or like on this board, I intentionally didn't answer the gender question because I don't want that to define who I am.[/quote] I wouldn't have mentioned it otherwise, but you repeatedly drew my attention to it... You gave yourself away here... [/quote]I guess what I'm looking for in other people is this like-mindedness for spiritual, cosmic, emotional things. [/quote] I think that you may not be as "different" as you think you are. There are many people out there who share at least some of the same "enlightened" perspectives as you... (I think maybe your use of the word "enlightened" is used a little too lightly??) Most just do not know how to express these things -or they suppress them (their beliefs/views) beneath the normalcy of routine and propriety.