Reoccurring DC- Deceased Friend

Alright this may interest some of you.
I am currently 18, but when i was 13 my best friend in public school, while we were in grade 7 died.

He apparently hung himself in his closet, although i didn't think it was true for a long time, Hell I'll never know the truth. All i know is we were really close, and this happened all of a sudden, without warning.

The night it happened i was having troubles breathing, and i didn't know why... but i kept telling my sister i felt like i was being choked.

This was the exact time frame it all happened, and it was as if i had a strong spiritual connection with my friend. I found out the next morning he has died, and realized why i could int breathe the night before (and it shocked me)

When the funeral came around, i went, and it was an open casket. There played my former friend, with his face sunk over his skull. Such an eerie sight, that can't escape my memory.

During the service, i fainted from emotional stress, and the heat inside the funeral home. During this fainting spell, i actually had a dream i was at the funeral, but i was WITH me friend, standing there talking to him. I almost think it was his way of saying goodbye to me, after he was gone.

After this, my life changed drastically. My other friend contemplated suicide, because he thought he was responsible for my deceased friends death. (he was teasing him) It took months to get him out of this mindset, but eventually became sane again.

Since my friend died, i have sensed him greatly in everyday objects, when i least expect it. It may sounds odd, but its like his spirit, not his face. Just a very strong feeling of his presence. Oddly i sensed him the most in car headlights, and smiley faces (i know, its weird)

Anyways, he visits me in dreams constantly, and its a very surreal experience. It's as if we can hang out, even though he died many years ago.

My question is: Do you think this is really my friends spirit, or just my own traumatic dilusions.

It's hard to answer your question.
I guess it's possible that it's his spirit. But even if it's not his spirit but just your memories of him coming to life in dream, I don't think it's less profound: You friend is still within you, in your mind, and your mind recreats him in dreams. So I wouldn't dismiss it as "traumatic dilusions", but as something deep and beautiful. And like I said, it could really be a spirit.

THe thing is, its too strong of a feeling to shake. And i only see him once in a while. Infact i havent seen him for a few weeks. He visits every now and then.

I really beleive its his spiritual shell.

I don't want to get you down because i feel that you have convinced yourself that it is a spiritual connection over the years since his death, its a tragic loss i must agree, i had a friend that died this year, she wasn't a close friend but still a friend.

I think that what is happening with you is that your finding it hard to let go of the fact that your friend is dead and your trying to convince yourself that he is still part of you, the truth is that he is gone, he died, there is nothing you can do, the fact is that since all of that he has been on your mind alot, you feel attached to him. My advice to you is that you believe what you want to believe, i cannot tell you what to believe, but i think that what you really need to do is let go. Cherish the memory of him, don't dwell on the memory, move on.

I mean put it this way, i'm sure your mate would want you to get on with your life, the reason it feels so strong is because it has built over the past few years since his death, you need to let go otherwise you could end up letting it dominate your life in ways you don't want to, you need to move on and i know it seems hard but it is what i think you need to do.

If you want to speak about this in anymore detail please feel free to PM me, i'd be happy to talk to you about it :)

I read all of this thread, and Lucid Seeker is right.

You need to let go, because it might stay in your mind and it will turn horrible eventually. You could have nightmares somehow, I don't know why you would have nightmares about it but you never know what's round the corner.

I'v been in a rather different situation in the past but it's the emotion that gets inside you that you might feel happy about letting go, because like I said before, it could turn ugly if you get sucked into this feeling.

Lucid Seeker said exactly what I wanted to say.

Spiritual or not, if this continues there is an next to complete chance that it will mutate into something harmful. Brutal as it may sound, you have to let go. Or you will start having seriuos problems that could very well ruin your life.

Btw, this could quite possibly be on the Help! forum, it's that kind of thing, but I'mnot sure. You might get some better and some more responses there.