lucid dreaming has made me a nihilist in my waking life

lucid dreaming has always been fun for me but thanks to time dilation I can spend more time in my dreams then in my waking life. <3 Einstein

My dreams are no longer about amazing feats, flying or what ever. I just go with the flow, I'm a feather in a gust of wind. Most of the time in my dreams is actually talking and searching. The coolest person I've found was my evil side. You know the whole Faustian good angel and bad angel, lol. Well yeah, that was a real interesting conversation, but this topic isn't about that... it's the reason I'd rather be in hell... you know what, this is another topic I tend to go off on tangents.

My main goal in life was just to maintain my current set and setting. I live with my mom and I've just been a bump on a log. She told me to go to college or get kicked out. So, I started going to college. I majored in chemistry though a sociology elective has really blown my mind and I want to major in sociology and philosophy now... though it doesn't matter because I'm going to fail out. I failed Chem, Phys, and Math passing only sociology and english.

One girl I met at a bar said she thinks I may have a mental disorder. When we chat on MSN she says that I have a tendency to change topics on a dime. We were arguing, I said reality was subjective, she claimed it was objective and we sort of clashed heads. In a lull in the debate I just said, "you ever heard Time by Pink Floyd?" That's when she brought up that I go from topic to topic and never with a transition.

And actually, it is evident in this post, I almost went off on a tangent explaining a dream you probably don't want to hear.

Yeah, I met a girl at a bar and we are friends now. I am the designated driver for my friends because I only drink on New Years and during lent just to spite my family who give up alcohol during Lent... see I did it again, that thing about Lent didn't need to be mentioned. Though now that I did mention it I should note that I don't get **** faced every night during lent, I just drink wine at dinner... but yeah.

So, this girl I met is a prime example of how I am a nihilist. My friends and I were out and they are always trying to get me to hook up with a girl. I tell them I don't care and they call bull. They find girls for me and give me lines to say and I go up to the girls and just tell them the truth and why I'm talking to them. That's how I became friends with this one girl(and two others). I'm 21, a virgin, and have no desire to have a sex. It should be noted that I can have sex in dreams and wake up with ejaculate in my pants... that was graphic but I know the only people in the world who won't think that's crazy are you guys.

I feel like Ben Stiller in a Night at the Museum. All this amazing stuff happens to me and all I have to do is show you to make you a believer.. except I can't show them.(you guys are Dick Van Dyke and Mickey Rooney, hehe)

I think my main problem is that I failed college and haven't told my mom. I have had problems sleeping and last night my dream was so gloomy... thank god for mirrors eh?

Post Script: I know it isn't normal to just sleep your life away. That is why I make a concerted effort to ONLY sleep eight hours, not a minute more.

Post Post Script: before posting this my mom called and I told her I want to see a psychiatrist, going to call my physician first thing in the morning and have him refer me to a shrink.

Post Post Post Script: Never had a post post post script, disregard this one, lol

sorry I didn't read all that but "Time by Pink Floyd" jumped out at me. congratulations on your exquisite taste in music, that's one of the best songs conceived by the human mind!

You sound pretty normal to me to be honest, just maybe a little depressed. I'm no psychiatrist, but you already said you're going to see one so you're on the right track.
As far as school goes, you and I were in a similar boat. You failed classes because you were in it for the wrong reasons. Go back, take introductory classes that interest you until you find what you want to pursue. School can be expensive, but you wouldn't be the first person to spend more than four years getting a degree.
You're just in a rut, and oversleeping, and dreaming is a side effect. The only advice I would give is to start exercising regularly, eating healthy (assuming you don't already), and talk to a psychiatrist.

Yeah, my all time favorite verse is in that song. I'll say it here. If I get it wrong I'm sorry, doing it from memory.

"you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around, to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older. Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MrBeelzy

You sound pretty normal to me to be honest, just maybe a little depressed. I'm no psychiatrist, but you already said you're going to see one so you're on the right track.
As far as school goes, you and I were in a similar boat. You failed classes because you were in it for the wrong reasons. Go back, take introductory classes that interest you until you find what you want to pursue. School can be expensive, but you wouldn't be the first person to spend more than four years getting a degree.
You're just in a rut, and oversleeping, and dreaming is a side effect. The only advice I would give is to start exercising regularly, eating healthy (assuming you don't already), and talk to a psychiatrist.

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Sorry for double post, this one happened while I was doing my last.

And that's something else about me, brought onto me of course because of lucid dreaming.

I don't care.

You said eating healthy and exercising regularly. I don't care about my health.

I spend more times in my dreams then I do in my waking life. My only goal in life is to maintain my current 'set and setting'

I realized I might have mentioned 'set and setting' and what that means is mindset and setting, it is something that psychonauts do before they go on a hallucinogenic trip. I have found that when I sleep somewhere else I always, always, get spontaneous sleep paralysis. (well five times in a row so far). And I know I've been doing this for going on four years but spontaneous sleep paralysis still freaks me out for an instant, and I hate being freaked out.

fuck yeah that's the best verse because it kicks in right after the kickass solo by none other than sir david gilmour! what other floyd songs do you like?

I think your tendency to change topics speaks more to your attention span that any kind of mental disorder.

I would be careful about getting psychiatrists involved unless your thoughts are really distressing to you, or preventing you from functioning in daily life. Just because some random girl tells you that you have a mental problem doesn't make it so. It sounds to me that she is not on the same philosophical level as you are, and further can't accept that people experience life differently. Those kind of people are the most dangerous, to be honest.

Anyway, good luck with your academic pursuits. Failing a few classes isn't anything that you can't recover from, especially now that you've identified what really interests you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Captain Sleepalot

I think your tendency to change topics speaks more to your attention span that any kind of mental disorder.

I would be careful about getting psychiatrists involved unless your thoughts are really distressing to you, or preventing you from functioning in daily life. Just because some random girl tells you that you have a mental problem doesn't make it so. It sounds to me that she is not on the same philosophical level as you are, and further can't accept that people experience life differently. Those kind of people are the most dangerous, to be honest.

Anyway, good luck with your academic pursuits. Failing a few classes isn't anything that you can't recover from, especially now that you've identified what really interests you.

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I'd say you are right but I don't think I mentioned this.

My Grandfather was bipolar and suffered from severe post traumatic stress syndrome from WWII
My aunt is bipolar
My other aunt is bipolar/schizophrenic
My twin brother is bipolar/schizophrenic

This is all on my paternal side and there is a history of bipolar disorder in my family, I've never been to a shrink anyway and since I am a Native American living in Canada it is entirely free of charge... I have nothing to lose by doing it.

Wow Garlic, you described me in a nutshell. We should talk lol. My life is basically my dreams - I don't really have a social life. I get depressed when I don't remember my dreams. I haven't started college as of yet and I have a full time job. I've been missing days at work as well - but that's mainly due to mono which I got in August. No one in my family suffers from a mental disorder, luckily. And I am trying to eat healthy and exercise more, but not having a social life doesn't seem to make it worthwhile sometimes.

Don't pay attention to that girl... unless your thoughts are seriously disrupting how you interact with others and your ability to simply do things, then I think there's little reason to see a shrink.

Your focus on dreaming however, could be revealing a simple disappointment with waking reality. From your perception, you have grown bored and dispirited with the way reality is, and that the dream world is simply more exciting and interesting. But even your attitude in your dreams is also revealing. You gain control simply to 'go with the flow', meaning you have little interest in changing your situation, a mentality you have made clear in your posts. But a lot of this stems from just that. You are bored because you are stuck in a very convenient situation, and you don't want to change it. As for you failing college, it's more of a case of picking the wrong subjects. To be honest, one should really only go to college if one has an idea of what one wishes to do after college, or at least an interest in continuing study in a subject or two. I am the latter... little idea of what to do after university/college, but still has an interest to continue study. In a way, it is simply postponing the time when I have to make a decision, but by giving myself more time, I get to think more on the issue.

Overall, from my perspective, you may simply have a short-attention span, a boredom with 'normality' and simply wishes to maintain the convenient situation you are in. But, if you try to at least change one aspect of your situation, you might find things might get more interesting, whether for better or for worse.