Could a Ld ruin a dream?

Here was the scenareo. I am in the process over the past few months of teaching my father how to LD.
He had a dream with my mother in it who passed away in 1995. In his deam he remembered her as if things had never changed. He then said, "Wow, now that is a case whare I wish I could have become lucid".
His point - Once he became lucid, he could then dance laugh, etc.
my point - Once (at least for me) you become lucid, since you are concious you would then realize she is not really there.
I have had four LD's with my mother and altough it was good to see & talk to her I was still anguished by the reality that she is still gone
I would rather have had my dads dream.

When you have reoccuring dreams about past loved ones, I believe it means that your subconscious mind is trying to deal with the loss because having a conversation with the descesed can help heal wounds and close doors (so the person can move on with their waking/conscious life).

There are actually some advantages to being lucid in those dreams. When your lucid, even though you know the person is really gone, you will be more able to heal your own wounds and put closure to the person's death. However, you have a good point, but with an LD you can also try to put closure to her death.

I understand. Different but similar situation. I cant be with my girlfriend right now and woudl lvoe nothing more the to be with her, and often plan on spending lucid dreamtiem with her, but when Im lucid, It doesnt feel like Im with her really. It kind of does, but its not at all the same, so Id rather be doing somehting else when Im lucid. But Id love to have non-lucid dreams where Im with her again.

Thats really an interesting point I never thought of. But most of my dreams arent lucid so I like the variety.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Howetzer
I have had four LD's with my mother and altough it was good to see & talk to her I was still anguished by the reality that she is still gone

---

I get what you mean, however consider that we do not know the full extent to which our powers as lucid dreamers could stretch. Perhaps, if one believes in the concept of the afterlife, you could somehow reach the essence of the person that you are dreaming of...

It may be slightly far fetched to some but its not improbable...

i can understand how lucidity might spoil things in a situation like that... but sometimes it may make it a better experience. many people say they've had incredibly vivid lucid dreams about deceased relatives and it seemed so real that they still felt as if the person was present, so for some the lucidity doesn't spoil the feeling. if your lucid you control what you say or do to a greater extent than in regular dreams and could possibly have a very deep conversation (or any other experience for that matter) with your loved one.

i don't know, there's always two sides two the coin... i can see how if your lucid you still know in the back of your mind that the person in reality is still gone. but still, either way... when you wake up your gonna have to face the reality of the situation.

for me, like many others, for the most part lucid dreams do nothing but make the dream better... but it comes to no surprise that there might be exceptions to that. maybe if you want to dream of your mother it would be best to incubate the dream rather than strive for lucidity. this way you can dream the dream you want believing that she's really there with you.

Of course LD's are amazing and Id never ask to get rid of them bycasue they are amzing. Im jsut saying this is one situation where Id rather not be lucid.

That's a difficult topic.

There's a rule : "treat every gun as if it is loaded". I apply something similar to my LDs - I treat every DC I care for (like family members or girls I love) as if they are "real" and alive.

I've never met dead people in a dream, so I dont know how it will go :/

But if your father just beginning to learn LDing, you can remind him of this rule...

Thanks everyone for the excellent responses :!: Very thought provoking answers.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Aphius
I get what you mean, however consider that we do not know the full extent to which our powers as lucid dreamers could stretch. Perhaps, if one believes in the concept of the afterlife, you could somehow reach the essence of the person that you are dreaming of...

---

---That could also be a possibility. I have learnrd to rule nothing out.

I think next time I have a Lucid dream with her in it I will concentrate on the time I am shaaring with her and maybe this will take the attention of my aknowledgment of her passing.

I recently watched a documentary about the Titanic called Ghosts of the Abyss. In the doc, a crew of a science expedition went down to the grave site of the Titanic to use modern technology to gather information about the wreckage they could not gather in the past.

In the doc one of the scientists mentioned that while the other scientists, of a differing fields, looked at the wreckage from the perspective of the life that was lost; she saw the wreckage from the perspective of the life that still lived.

It is possible that in your dreams about your mother, that you still aren't seeing her as being alive. While I know she has passed away, and I know you have heard this before, I believe that a part of her still lives within you and that is what you are seeing. What you see in the dream isn't just a construct of your imagination, but it is a part of her that she left behind with you before passed away.

Ev is right, you should treat every archetype the same way you would treat someone who is 'real'. They may not be flesh and blood human beings, but they are life forms (maybe memories, angels, genie, etc.) all there own.

Another possibility is that the anguish you feel isn't your own anguish, but instead they are the feelings of someone else close to you. This may be a 'real' person or an archetype. In order to alleviate the anguish you must try to look beyond what you feel and acknowledge that you are aware of the feeling of others (in this case the feeling of anguish). Sometimes showing sympathy to other helps a lot. Sometimes when I feel pain this is what I do, and it really seems to work.

Not all archetypes are visible. Some archetypes remain invisible, but they still effect you. Different archetypes act as an extension of the self. Like us they feel emotions and think and basically live. Showing sympathy to these archetypes is as important as showing love to a real person. By alleviating their anguish you may help to alleviate your own. :)

Thanks for the reply dreamcaster. Although rather complicated I feel somthing good can come out of your outlook on the matter. =The feeling of anguish of others has been prevelent in a few or more of my dreams.
They say nothing comes easy. If it did it would not mean as much. :-P