Stress and worry seems to be increasing my semi-lucids...

however, not really increasing my full lucids.

The past few weeks of my life have been incredibly stressful, possibly the most stressful weeks of my life as of yet.

Let's just say, kitten died, fiance in a very very bad car accident, money troubles and a lot of work and big changes.

I've been stressing and worrying before bed every night and to soothe these worries I've been trying to focus on lucid dreaming to get myself to sleep. A lot of these attempts are half-assed, but surprisingly there are some results. All of them as half-assed as the attempt.

My last semi-lucid dream involved me at my place of work. I was constantly making mental statements that this was a dream and I could do whatever, but I proceeded to do stupid things with no lucidity that was really tangible.

What I think is happening is that my mind is so stressed that during my sleep I'm having constant bouts of conciousness but since I have no real intention before going to bed to actually become lucid my mind just wanders away from the subject.

I do, actually, want a lucid dream. But my energy is just absolutely drained at the end of each day.

-sigh- I'm not really sure where I was going with this post, but I just need to hear some feedback. Maybe some kind words and a few pointers. I don't know.

Also, for some reason I feel afraid to go lucid because often when I become lucid my dreams get scary. I think it's because I know my mind can do whatever, even if I'm seemingly in control. Maybe this hinders my attempts as well.