Nearing Lucidity?

Hi all, i have recently (in the past two weeks) got back into LDing, and within a day i was having some really vivid dreams but i haven't been writing them down.

Anyway, two or so months ago i had a dream that i became lucid, which was the first time that the topic came up in my dream, after a a girl in the dream and i were talking about lucid dreaming. I went to sleep, had an FA then I reality checked, with an arm pinch, and was like "yeaahh!" but i couldn't do anything and when i woke up (in reality) i realised i was just a character who thought he became lucid. It frustrated me because i couldn't become lucid despite what happened in my dream.

Now, two nights ago, i had a VERRRRY long dream, and everytime i went to this bathroom, i tried to switch on the light. It didnt work, and i was like to myself "oh yeah, i read that happens in dreams, remember when you tried to lucid dream?". Then i ignored it and went on my way, because the dream was tooo vivid!

Finally, last night i had yet another really realistic dream, but at one point i decided (do not remember why) to reality check. It felt very odd when i pinched myself, so i thought "Hold on, maybe i am lucid dreaming! Yahoo!" and got really excited, so i decided to try something to test it out. I ran down stairs and jumped a few steps, in an effort to float, but it failed. "Maybe its too complex at the moment". So i ran into my living room and saw my mother who was insulting me. I stared her right in the face and put all my effort in disintegrating her with my mind. I stared for a good minute and then thought to myself, while seeing her utterly confused face, "Hmpf, maybe i am not lucid dreaming", then i woke up!

So frustrating! What does this mean!?

Lucid dreaming is being aware whilst your dreaming. Lucid dreaming isnt about controlling your dream. Its just whilst your lucid, you choose to control it. But it seems like your getting close, because your dreaming about lucid dreaming. Write all your dreams down if you care that much, and improve your dream recall. And you will get there in the end, everyone does.

Good luck.