Waking Dreams and My fears
O.K. Where to begin?
Well, I have waking dreams. And yes. I've searched here and found some info. on it. Still, I would like some personal help. Lucid dreaming sounds wonderful. I'd love to be able to do it. I believe in astral projection and think that might help me in that as well. I understand if most people here don't That's fine, but if someone does I will value your imput as well.
So..... I have waking dreams. Many and varied. Always frightening. But now I've had this one in particular and I just don't know what to do. Me and my husband (bless him for being so considerate) are sleeping in the living room now so that I can have the sofa on one side of me and him on the other. This way I can't dream of anything being right next to me. This thing is affecting my life even deeper than that as my sleep is not so peaceful anymore, I.E. being afraid to go to sleep and even being afraid to go to a comfortable place (I'll explain in a moment, but first, the ?dream?)
So, here it is: Just a rose.
You see, Jonathan( my husband) bought me a dozen orange roses (I love the orange ones) and I had just taken care of them before going to bed, clipping off leaves that would waste water, cutting a bit off the stem to open them back up and so on and so forth.
So, I finished that up and went to bed feeling a whole lot better than I usually do these days. I mean, I was perfectly comfortable and happy thinking about my beautiful roses and drifted right off to sleep. Then I woke up, laying on my side, looking off the edge of the bed, where our closet is right next to me with only a small space to walk back and forth in. There, floating in mid-air was an orange rose. I sat up (which woke Jonathan) then I started screaming. And I don't mean the screams I've made before when something scared me in my sleep, I mean full-blown horror movie type screaming. Jonathan screamed as well. He didn't know what was going on. I was turned completely away from him, staring towards our closet where this rose hung in the air. He couldn't see what was frightening me and soon realized that I was dreaming or had been dreaming. Still, I went on screaming. I mean I drew several breaths in order to keep screaming. I was completely terrified and can't remember being that scared except for once which was another waking dream where I thought someone was in the room with me between the lightswitch and me and it was pitch black (this one has been explained). This may have even been scarier because at Jonathan's scream, I thought he saw it too. I shudder to think of it even now. In fact I had been thinking of moving the bed back into our room tonight but I don't think I can now. It was so real. And so close to me.
As I watched, and screamed my off (thank goodness our neighbors couldn't hear) it slowly faded away. At this I was even more terrified. I drew more breaths and screamed even louder. Jonathan,(who only screamed once) grabbed me and held me and eventually I finally stopped screaming. I just sat there, unable to look away from the spot where the rose had been as I had been unable to do the whole time, and shook violently. I'm shaking even now. I asked Jonathan, suddenly, to turn on the overhead light, frightened that there still might be something in the room, but don't get me wrong, a light had been on the whole time. Our lamp on the nightstand produces a good amount of light and this particular night was set brighter than normal so I could see quite clearly. No, I just wanted the glaring and safe brightness of the overhead light.
Well? What do you think? I've tried to make myself feel better by telling myself that it was a friendly force, like No-face in Spirited Away just trying to give me something that it knew I liked (since I obviously loved the roses) but the fear is unshakable. No matter what I tell myself, I remember the horror of the moment, the shear terror and I don't think I've ever been that terrified before, and I KNOW I've never been THAT terrified for THAT long before. It was and is
unshakable.
Relevance to this site? Well, I would love to lucid dream but this (and other experiences like it) have scared me to much to try. The same with astral projection, I've always been too scared to pull it off I think. I would like to get past this and prevent it from happening in the future.
FAQ(Frequently Answered Questions)
I've read other material on waking dreams but mine seem to be fundamentally different. I AM awake. I can read. Work things, like electrical devices. I can talk intelligibly, answer questions. I'm aware of everything around me, except I'm aware of some frightening anomaly as well. And that's the scary thing. I KNOW it's an anomaly. Whatever is there that shouldn't be there, I'm thinking perfectly logically about it and know it shouldn't be there and that just terrifies me all the more. I worry that my problem might be deeper. Some essential problem with the way my mind works and I just don't have the money to get tests run. I would love some help from everyone here. This is really effecting my life.
I've never had a lucid dream but I'd love to. First, I have to work through this.
Thank you and sorry about the length...
Re: Waking Dreams and My fears
Quote:
Originally posted by Fallen.Rain
I've read other material on waking dreams but mine seem to be fundamentally different. I AM awake. I can read. Work things, like electrical devices. I can talk intelligibly, answer questions. I'm aware of everything around me, except I'm aware of some frightening anomaly as well. And that's the scary thing. I KNOW it's an anomaly. Whatever is there that shouldn't be there, I'm thinking perfectly logically about it and know it shouldn't be there and that just terrifies me all the more.
That is still a lucid dream, the dreams where things don't work properly and you cant read, are the low level ones where you are aware you're dreaming but things are still not right, not as stable etc.
The ones you sound like you have are high level Lucid dreams, not quite as common, mainly achieved by Natural lucid dreamers, i.e. those for who lucid dreams come frequently without having to strive for them like many of us, I've only ever had one.
Anyway, so let me get this straight, you saw this floating rose and it scared the life out of you? I'm only speaking for me here, but that doesn't seem like much to me, but it most likely means more to you than I.
What you said about it possibly being a friendly entity of some kind, that is what I would think, some form of benign or friendly creation of your mind taking the form of something you hold close. I mean, reading how you associated with the roses, perhaps you began dreaming, and this rose was there not to hurt or scare you, but intended to give you some form of guidance. However the level of awareness you encountered, on par with that of waking reality, knew that this rose should not be there and that scared the hell out of you, because we all know that giant floating roses aren't common.
Also, it sounds to me like you are running from your problem, while you researched, did you come across the concept of facing your nightmares?
