Bullied By Talking Otters
I was at my apartment, just chilling. My room mate told me he was going somewhere to study. I realized that I left one of my possessions at a building that I was just at and I would have to run back to get it. I started walking down the side walk and was having major trouble with my vision. I kept almost going blind and I was concerningly unconcerned, because in real life this would be a major medical emergency, but I guess going mostly blind was just another annoyance in my day.
When I got to the building/classroom I realized that I forgot what I had forgot. I couldn't remember what I had left here. I didn't focus too much on that though, because in front of me a chaotic scene was unfolding. My class was talking to the professor about the final exam grades, and shit was going doooown. I decided that I didn't care enough to stay and decided to go home.
I started walking home when I passed by a high school class mate. At first I wasn't going to say anything, but as I walked by I felt his eyes looking back at me and I turned around and there he was staring at me. He looked happy to see me. We probably haven't talked since middle school, but he's hella cute so I wasn't complaining.
We started talking and my winter coat hood was annoying the crap out of me. We decide to go back to his place to catch up.
When we get to his place, he shows me that he has an indoor pool of otters. Way cool. I jump in the pool and start playing with the otters. He leaves me with them for some time.
There was one otter that was flat and wide like a pancake. I decide to sit on top of the otter. Then I start hearing the otters talking to me. And at least this time I was partly concerned for my sanity because holy shit talking otters. They were derogatory AF so I get out of the pool and leave.
I go back to the living room where my class mate is and I sit on the couch. This guy then takes my fingers and starts kissing them. OK buy me dinner first please?! But I let it slide, because hella cute. And then we kiss and stuff, but nothing more than that. 
SEXY GERMAN MAN
This memorable dream was during finals week (last week), so I'm just getting around to posting it now.
I was dating a total weirdo. I mean, I am a weirdo, but this guy was the bad kind of weird. He literally was a school shooter. And I was still dating him (but was highly considering dumping him). Something happened during the school shooting that left him in a wheel chair. I went to a family Christmas gathering where we were gathered around a small Christmas tree singing some hymn and the entire time he was yelling racist slurs. It was super uncomfortable.
I'd like to think that waking-Zukin would have dumped his ass by now, but dreaming-Zukin had the not-so-wise idea of further torturing herself by bringing him out to dinner with the family. We went to a make-your-own sushi bar. The toppings included sawdust, literal bacteria, Snickers, and whiskey. I realized that I had left my wallet at the hotel we were apparently staying at and I'd have to go back to get it.
When I got to the hotel lobby, I noticed an older woman and a nice looking young man. The older woman was crying in German. Seeing an opportunity (not to just interact with the hot young man but also to be a decent human being (for once)) I decided to ask them what was troubling them. The woman explained to me that her dog was throwing up and she was really concerned that it was going to die. I inspected the dog and indeed it was throwing up. In fact, it was so ill that the tiny dog was resting on the toilet seat, throwing up into the toilet bowl. Like a little human. I told the woman that she could give her dog diphenhydramine for the acute illness, but she needs to take it to a vet asap since I'm not trained in veterinary medicine. I didn't really know how much I helped, so I apologized that I couldn't be of further use and walked away.
The sexy German guy thanked me for trying to help and walked me back to my hotel room where kinky things happened. 
The next morning, I realized that I forgot about the fact that I left my family waiting for me at a restaurant and had to make a bolt for it. I ran outside and suddenly I was in New York City. I saw one of my group-members who had bought new boots apparently. She said that even though it had been at least 6 hours later, my family was still at the restaurant and she would take me back to them. We started walking around and I got distracted by everything there was to see in the city.
We walked past a renaissance fair tent and I decided it would be an appropriate time to contort my spine backwards and walk around their tent four-footed.
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