Living Freely : A story of a recovering addict, MAtthew

**whitedreams** · 08-14-2011 07:20 AM

Been home for two days now. MY names matthew and i am a recovering addict. I am from the same place as you. I believe we are all one, here to help and guide eachother. The 6 months i spent in utah changed things. I have had experiences in the spiritual world as well as the material framed world that have impacted my life souverigly. My life used to be one lived in fear, a life controlled by the mind instead of one as infite as the great spirit. I lived trapped in a free world. The first night in the facility, i lucid dreamed i was in my bedroom back at home and black dark evil spirits swept all around me and danced. I screamed for help, but i could not open my mouth. I was caught in sleep paralysis, in close contact with those who have passed on. As the months whent on and i progressed deeper into my recoverey, i experienced more lucid dreams, at first i was full of fear, and terrified of the dream charactors (entities from the other) who haunted me in my dream. Mid dream i realized, I am life, this is my dream, i am real and alive, these evil spirts simply cling trying to scrape my life away from me. They want what i have to cause harm. With that i said fuck it all in my dream, got on top of a stage in an empty room, turned on some techno and danced alone on stage. I learned that in order to conquer fears, we must first truely acept ourselves as what we truely are, and be grounded. Later in my treatment i experienced 2 more lucid dreams. Once in which i was in my room in the treatment facility, and i tried to stand up but kept falling down. I was weak, and i could hear an evil spirit laughing at me trying to break me down. I got fear full and rolled and bull rushed towards the laughter trying to ataack it. I fell into darkness woke up. The next day, i had the same dream, i arose from my bed and was able to just barley balance. No laughing this time, except i still feared what lied down the hallway. I could not seem to get a clear picture of the dream, instead, my eyes were hesitant to see what lied ahead. In an addiction or any other tramatizing experience, my true spirit filed with life was polluted with evil spirits of darkness/. Once all that evil has been expelled, there is stil a weak spirit, and you better believe the dark entities will try and enter you. IT is up to you!! and only you, to live strong, courageous, and most of all honest, in order to grow in your life, and conquer that which haunts you. Fre your mind, realize you are the true force of the universe, and connect your spirit with that , which is. Connect with others that are l ife. Conect with Earth. Be one. Ground yourself, love, respect, and cherish your life. IT was easy for me to runs toward the darkness and say fuck it i shall attack and join this evil. It takes a set of nuts to sack up and stand up in that room of yours and control your dream. To control your life. To live free with yourself. To live infinitley. To get your mind right. To be one.
Matthew McLaughlin August 13

**cmind** · 08-14-2011 04:28 PM

Originally Posted by whitedreams

Been home for two days now. MY names matthew and i am a recovering addict. I am from the same place as you. I believe we are all one, here to help and guide eachother. The 6 months i spent in utah changed things. I have had experiences in the spiritual world as well as the material framed world that have impacted my life souverigly. My life used to be one lived in fear, a life controlled by the mind instead of one as infite as the great spirit. I lived trapped in a free world. The first night in the facility, i lucid dreamed i was in my bedroom back at home and black dark evil spirits swept all around me and danced. I screamed for help, but i could not open my mouth. I was caught in sleep paralysis, in close contact with those who have passed on. As the months whent on and i progressed deeper into my recoverey, i experienced more lucid dreams, at first i was full of fear, and terrified of the dream charactors (entities from the other) who haunted me in my dream. Mid dream i realized, I am life, this is my dream, i am real and alive, these evil spirts simply cling trying to scrape my life away from me. They want what i have to cause harm. With that i said fuck it all in my dream, got on top of a stage in an empty room, turned on some techno and danced alone on stage. I learned that in order to conquer fears, we must first truely acept ourselves as what we truely are, and be grounded. Later in my treatment i experienced 2 more lucid dreams. Once in which i was in my room in the treatment facility, and i tried to stand up but kept falling down. I was weak, and i could hear an evil spirit laughing at me trying to break me down. I got fear full and rolled and bull rushed towards the laughter trying to ataack it. I fell into darkness woke up. The next day, i had the same dream, i arose from my bed and was able to just barley balance. No laughing this time, except i still feared what lied down the hallway. I could not seem to get a clear picture of the dream, instead, my eyes were hesitant to see what lied ahead. In an addiction or any other tramatizing experience, my true spirit filed with life was polluted with evil spirits of darkness/. Once all that evil has been expelled, there is stil a weak spirit, and you better believe the dark entities will try and enter you. IT is up to you!! and only you, to live strong, courageous, and most of all honest, in order to grow in your life, and conquer that which haunts you. Fre your mind, realize you are the true force of the universe, and connect your spirit with that , which is. Connect with others that are l ife. Conect with Earth. Be one. Ground yourself, love, respect, and cherish your life. IT was easy for me to runs toward the darkness and say fuck it i shall attack and join this evil. It takes a set of nuts to sack up and stand up in that room of yours and control your dream. To control your life. To live free with yourself. To live infinitley. To get your mind right. To be one.
Matthew McLaughlin August 13

Wow, that's incredible that you had those dark spirit dreams, because I've had those exact same dreams myself when I was in withdrawal from the various medications my doctor put me on. I was also in my room in a semi lucid state, and there were these dark figures with red eyes that I believed were the dead, and they were slowly coming closer and increasing in numbers, and I felt like they were trying to suck away my life force. Very scary.

**whitedreams** · 08-16-2011 07:21 AM

go watch insidieous

**Seroquel** · 08-16-2011 07:27 AM

Can you please break that up into paragraphs.

**whitedreams** · 08-26-2011 01:36 PM

i would but it will no longer let me i am sorry

**greenhavoc** · 08-30-2011 01:23 AM

What were you on, and how long less the 6 months were you on it?

**whitedreams** · 12-14-2011 10:45 PM

i was on lots of things, Cough syrups, weed, painkillers, alchohal, it was something everyday

**LucidFlanders** · 12-15-2011 05:49 AM

Nice story, glad you found yourself. I don't believe in evil spirits, i believe it's probably just the bad in us trying to win, and we need to face it and let it go much like your story. Good job beating it. But it doesn't end here, now you know how to beat it so keep fighting the fight and not letting yourself fall back to your old ways. Evil spirits can mean your bad choices in life, it can mean simple things but because of TV and stories we need to see evil (or bad) in a form of a person in order to understand.

**whitedreams** · 12-15-2011 10:41 PM

thats so true i feel the same way thats why i am in working the shit out of the 12 Steps of AA.. gotta lvoe those guys , andi really try and avoid watching tv at all costs i got an addictive personality and if i start one show im freaking hooked , it could be freaking icarly it doesnt matter what it is im womdering wats happening next week. I think i see a lot of myself in other people which is why i am so intrested in other peoples lives, Thatl whole voyerism thing any way thanks for your comment