OK. I think I understand the main thrust of what you're saying now. Probably I missed it before because my reading was sloppy, not because you didn't explain it well. I think your description explains the situation better than the one I gave, so thanks for taking the time to try one more time.
I think that some magical systems will work better than others because they're by their nature more effective. By way of analogy, rules of mathematics can be made up any way we like, but some combinations can accomplish things that others can't. This isn't to disagree with what you're saying though.
Some things emerge naturally from such effective systems. For example, I don't believe in any right or wrong imposed by an external God, or otherwise imposed on nature. However, some principles akin to the 'golden rule' arise naturally in almost any system capable of supporting life. If you play in the NBA, and you don't want your career ended by a foul intentionally designed to injure, then you're probably going to adhere to an honor code of not doing that to other players. This 'morality', insofar as this type of selfishness can be considered morality, arises naturally from the situation without being imposed by 'society', or legislation, or whatever. Bring in other factors like feeling, and the capacity to feel what someone else feels, and other principles arise that might be considered moral.
I dislike some systems of magic because they're overtly amoral, and not compatible with an environment that I would like to live in. I don't subscribe to the authoritarian morality of most religions though, which seem to me to have as much to do with control as with sincerity or compassion. Obviously any moral ways of thinking, including my own, are limiting, often in unhealthy ways. So I guess as with anything else there's an advantage to growing into more general, flexible, subtle ways of thinking which yield the same benefits without the downsides. In the past I've blown off chaos magic without really looking into it, because of its indirect association with Crowley, who's thinking I am unimpressed with. But possibly that hasn't been a fair characterization. It reminds me of the first time I saw an I Ching, I was maybe 17, I flipped through it briefly in a used bookstore and decided it was bullshit. Then someone else introduced me to it several years later and I thought it was great. I still think the aspect that I thought was bullshit really is bullshit - reality can't be explained very well by a system of five elements and a bunch of hexagrams. But as an oracle it really does work, and I think I've learned a few things from it.
I think a complication to what you describe is our ways of thinking interact with other people's. No man is entirely an island, even in his personal meditations. But this really isn't a disagreement either.