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    Thread: So I sacrificed a spider to Satan the other night

    1. #26
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      I just read through, and I enjoyed the time I spent.

      I once had a dream I killed Cheney in cold blood. I certainly felt the need to kill him, but once I did the anxiety of what to do with the body, and what I had done, was overwhelming. The best I can come close to comparing it is when I read Crime and Punishment (which was some time after I had the dream). I highly recommend that book! (Although the ending is some fake happy ending bullshit that Dostoevsky's publisher forced him to add).

      As for your sacrificial experiment, I have my two cents to add. I don't necessarily believe in magic, but if you are trying to appease a deity in order to do something for you, shouldn't it require some effort? The more extraordinary the effect, the more extraordinary the effort?

      Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely hate spiders (although I still do get a little sick to my stomach when I kill them -- I couldn't even bring myself to kill the black widow sitting outside my front door), but I think Shadowofwind has it right. And if you're going to kill an innocent to do something inconsequential to someone as evil as Dick Cheney, why not just do it directly to his own body yourself?

    2. #27
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      I wasn't going after a particularly potent deity, in retrospect. I've heard non-corporeal forms will often masquerade as Satan to gain some intimidation points with whoever they're fucking with. I figure maybe some lowly, dark deity might do something for the sake of creating a working relationship wherein he could convince me to make greater sacrifices for greater reward.

      Obviously this is a terrible idea, but if the spider was going to die anyway I wanted its death to mean something. Plus I was stoned and kicking it with an equally stoned and equally facetious friend along with an equally stoned but humorously superstitious friend. Whenever my equally facetious friend and I hang out, things go terribly wrong. One time I almost killed somebody because I was drunk and we thought throwing knives would be a good idea. He marked an x on himself in sharpie to signify his non-lethal zone and I hurled the sharpie as practice which created a nice black dot half an inch from the center of the X. So we thought, "Perfect, I can do this." I never intended to actually throw the knife I was just going through the motions for the comical effect and it... loosed itself and flew right by him, sticking the wall behind him with masterful efficacy. Later, as a joke aimed at the objecting cries of our mutual friend, he tossed the knife back at me for another go and I attempted to flick the blade open like I knew what I was doing, and again, in a room crowded with people, it loosed itself from my fingers. All I heard was the thunk noise a knife makes when its tip stick something solid, but no knife could be found. Us in the room stared at each other uneasily, I found myself immediately banned from touching knives in my friends house, end eventually we saw it sticking squarely beside me in my friend's coffee table, a gift from her late grandmother.

      So on this particular day we were stoned hanging out, and a ouija board was completely out of the question despite all our pleas. It was, unfortunately, my superstitious friend's house. I still don't know why she remained so adamantly opposed to it but then I recalled her story of the spider she trapped in a glass jar I grew inspired.
      Last edited by Original Poster; 01-29-2014 at 08:35 AM.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


    3. #28
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      Yeah, I wouldn't let you around my knives either! Even though they are so dull I can't cut a tomato without crushing it!

    4. #29
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      But no one got hurt so it's still funny

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


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