My spiritual connection to this man? 10 points?
I saw this heard about this man in my dream in 2003. Just a few words. Didn't see his face. I was 12 time. After that I saw/heard nothing and he never appeared again for the next 4 years.I hardly remembered my dream but I did remember the words. In 2008, something happened and I became in tune with his company and their events.
In April, I finally saw him. I saw him from a distance but I immediately recognized him as the guy I heard about in my dream. Nobody believed me but I was adamant and I was right. He was the same guy. He was 28 years old that time and I was 16.
I was immediately fascinated by him and his looks. But he is an American. I am British/Indian (live in India, English by ethnicity) I became his admirer. Not romantic at all. I looked up to him. His ambitious attitude and influential personality affected me. We were very much alike and I thought we must have been siblings in past life.My admiration for him continued till March 2010. I had two boyfriends in between this time but nothing worked more than 4 months. I liked them a lot but they cheated on me. In the end of March 2010, when I broke up with my boyfriend, this man suddenly started appearing in my dreams.
When I closed my eyes, I saw his face. I didn't know why and this continued for 3 months. I struggled hard to get rid of him because of our age difference,nationality etc. I was diagnosed with typhoid and lay in bed for 2 months and all the while I saw his face in spite of being annoyed with him and everything due to sickness.
I finally accepted that I started liking him and let it go. In Jan 2011, I suddenly thought my ex bf was good and compared him to this man. For the next 3 days I felt sick and horrible. This man refused to come in my dreams. I coudnt see his face. My hair felt greasy. Finally I prayed to him and repented for comparing my ex to him and next day while showering, black water came out of my hair (i shampoo my hair daily!) and I was cheerful!
In May I had a dream where I saw him wearing a blue shirt, celebrating with a blonde girl. The next day I came to know he won a huge contract in his blue brand section and was involved with a blonde colleague. I had many such feelings like these.
In Nov 11, my mom got a box from the market which had his name imprinted on all sides of the box. His name isn't common. I was stunned to see it.
In March, April and July 2012, I felt as if someone was penetrating inside me while asleep. I think it was him. His company hosted big parties in April and I genuinely hoped he came alone on his birthday and for all parties without his then gf (now broken up) who always attended these parties. Surprisingly he came alone! In 2013 I again hoped he would come alone in April and he did.
I also hoped he would break up with his gf as she was a drinking addict, who spent lots of his money on superficial stuff and never stopped him from doing drugs and only partied at bars with her friends. And finally this year in June after separating for 6 months, they called it quits.
What is this connection? I am so confused. I don't know what to do? I love him too much.
And my life now is dictated by him. I went to US this year on F1 visa, but I gradually learned that I would have problems there in meeting him and the Uni I applied to was more expensive than the I-20 stated so the loan would finish off in one year and I wouldn't get any money to pay off for next year. So I returned back in 4 days. I am distressed. I want to go back there. I am not sure if he ll feel the same and should I go on as a tourist to see him and see how he feels when he sees me? He meets everyone and is very friendly towards women,especially.
What is this? Is this a sign of both of us getting together? How do I go about this situation? Please serious answers only.
