My First Guided Visualization Meditation
I really liked Shakti's books, so I tried out her guided meditation cd's. The first time I tried it I was too sleepy and couldn't see anything she told me. Instead I just had random HI and started to fall asleep
I decided her cds were lame and didn't try them again for months
Now..............since march I've had a stomach ulcer. The average number of days I can go before it starts to burn again is three days. So between march and november, most of the week I was in physical pain.
When my stomach was not burning, I still had a physical sore. I only had to lightly touch my stomach in that one spot to feel something wound like. And unlike the burning sensation, the sore was EVERY DAY. There was also a knot in that area.
Like a hardened lump in the area where it hurt. I never found out if the knot was just a stress knot in my muscles, or if it was the ulcer making my stomach swell. I did go to the doctor just to make sure some organ wasn't about to burst, but he couldn't find any medical emergency. So I just always had this knot. I'm skinny enough for you to see the physical difference in one side of my stomach and the other (it actually freaked my doctor out, at first he thought something was going to burst!!)
On November 30th (and yes I was stressed as hell the entire week) I was in so much pain, I had to leave work. I mean, I could practically taste the stomach acid in the back of my throat. And it felt like I could just gag on it! I was miserable the whole day.
The next day, I finished reading Biology of Belief and found out something interesting, the stomach lining actually renews itself every 72 hours!!!! Every 72 hours, we have a whole new stomach lining!! And here I am thinking....why the fuck am I still in pain if theoritically speaking a stomach ulcer should heal in days??? It's been..how many months?? And I was avoiding all acidic foods, drinks, caffeine, pepper, the works. And consuming natural foods and drinks that kill infections and support friendly bacteria so ulcers can heal. Still, months later...pain.
So that day I decided this is an evil ball of stress and only meditation could kill it. Since I totally suck at meditating, I tried her cd again. This time I was awake.
I wasn't actually expecting results....I thought it would take weeks for my stomach ulcer to go away!! Boy, was I wrong! :eek:
It was gone in less than hour............
Shakti's guided meditation is a simple one. She first helps you relax your body. And has you visualizing healing energy going to places in your body that hurts. Sure I've done this before on my own, and it never worked. But this time, where my belly hurts it started to grow warm. And it felt like it was sizzling, sizzling as if someone had put ice over something hot. Then the area became warm and numb.
She then has you visualize your own Sanctuary, an imagined natural landscape where you feel safe. You know, flowers, trees, mountains...what ever just comes to you.
My visualization was NOT very vivid. It wasn't solid or colorful like an HI. But the imagery wasn't completely random either. It was remaining consistent enough where I can imagine myself walking around and interacting with my Sanctuary.
A bit later she has you invite your Wise Being into the Sanctuary, the wise part of yourself. At first my Wise Being was just the shape of a man glowing white. I tried to give him a face, and at first I tried to imagine this Temple Monk character I met in a dream who felt kind and wise.
But the image wouldn't stay still, his face kept melting away, and when that didn't work my Wise Being turned into a bright light, and flies past me. He lands by a lone fruit tree. To my happy surprise *or not really a surprise :D* he takes the form of a small eastern dragon instead. The scene of an eastern dragon standing by a lone fruit tree in a garden was kind of biblical, but hey, it worked. My guided visualization meditation was now at it's most vivid, there was finally some color.
My wise being was friendly, he didn't say much. Mostly I just stroked his nuzzle.
Shakti tells us that our Wise Being has a message, mine simply said 'Believe'. I couldn't get much more than that. Afterwards we were allowed to ask our Wise Being something.
Since I knew ahead of time we would get to ask a question, I had a question in mind. The funny thing was, by the time we got to the point to finally ask the question...I FORGOT IT! There I was staring at the face of this Wise Dragon and the question I had in my mind just vanished. I guess my original question was stupid anyways. Instead what blurted out of my mouth was, please heal my stomach!
Immedietly ugly black slugs would pop out of my belly where it hurts the most - and then my Wise Dragon would pop them with his talons. And they would burst into black blood! Actually, I guess they looked more like leeches than slugs. And they just kept on coming. And another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and he smushed every one with his paw.
I look down at my stomach in the visualization, and I'm upset. Because even after he had popped dozens of nasty leeches, I still had this enourmous bulge in my stomach.
Shakti guides us back to our body, but she says we can invite the Wise Being back with us. So I imagine that my Wise Dragon was on my bed with me. And there he was popping ugly bloody leeches until he was finally done, and then he vanishes away.
When I opened my eyes I felt better :eek: I was in disbelief that a simple visualization could actually make me feel better. So I kept poking my stomach in my ouchy spot, but the knot was gone. And so was the pain, and that nasty acidy feeling.........all gone....like magic. I was in so much disbelief I was laughing. This can't have actually just happened, right here right now. Just like that, so simple!!
The next day I waited for the burning. But there was no burning, and again no knot. I was still in disbelief. It took me a few days of zero burning to really begin to accept that my ulcer was actually gone. Even nearly two weeks later, with zero symptoms of ulcer, I'm still anxious around acidicy drinks. But that didn't stop me from enjoying my first sip of soda in months, and my first orange juice as well! I admit, I still waited to regret drinking it!
It's really weird to say, that I'm finally ulcer free. Even weirder to say it happened in less than an hour. Even weirder to say that I'm actually in still in disbelief that it actually happened
I still having to deal with stress, a lot is still happening in my life. But at least now I know the healing power of meditation.
:D
I think a guided visualization meditation is great for everyone is a mediation idiot like me. Especially if your mind doesn't shut up. I found it so much easier to shut up my mind when I was allowed to focus on peaceful imagery instead. Though her guided meditations have been helpful, they can also be real limiting
The Wise Being meditation was great because we first spend a good deal of time exploring our sanctuary, and doing so seems to help you enter a deeper state of mind before meeting your Wise Being
In some of her other meditations though, we only spend a minute or so exploring our sanctuary before we invite an aspect of ourself. It's a bit rushed, and if you haven't entered a deeper state of mind, the results are just foggy. The message I got today was "visit me everyday" and "without Shakti's help"
sigh, oh well! Thank you Shakti, where ever you are. I feel better, I really do! :D
