What makes you burn? My first LD in eleven years.
I dont know if the community has a term for this, but when I was a child I was what you could call a "chronic LDr" in that I would have an LD every month or so. I never had control of the dreams, but I always realized very quickly that I was dreaming. Usually they were nightmares and I would seek the quickest way out of the dream - killing myself. In addition, sleep paralysis was also very common for me.
This all stopped once I hit puberty. Once puberty hit, the LD's stopped almost completely and I dreamed "normally". I no longer was conscious that I was dreaming, and most of the dreams Ive had were blurry and inconsistent, and rather bland.
Until now.
Today I decided to take a nap to relieve my hangover. When I napped, I almost immediately began dreaming. The dreaming was like I suggested before - irrational, blurry, inconsistent.
I dreamed I was travelling, meeting people, talking. I cant remember anything else, it wasnt specific or anything. But, eventually I found myself atop a balcony in a large hall, overseeing a party of sorts. I was overlooking a hall filled with people - mingling with each other, talking. I watched them, and eventually looked over to see someone standing next to me.
It was at this point I realized, for some reason, I was dreaming. The words "Holy crap! I'm dreaming!" crossed my mind. I dont know why, but I realized I was dreaming.
"So I'm dreaming, huh? How about this time I try to control it?" I thought to myself.
But unfortunately at the moment i tried to control it, the entire dream began to dematerialize around me. I began to beg the dream to stop, to continue but it went on anyway. The vision blurred and objects etc were torn apart. I was very distraught. I felt as if something else was controlling my dream. I was not controlling it, and whatever it was wanted the show to go on.
At this point I wanted out. I tried waking myself up, and I thought I did - because the vision went pitch black. But I found myself still oddly dreaming. (I think there is a term for this idk though)
In fact I swear I felt like I was under some sort of external control, and let the dream continue. Highly intricate, complicated geometric-shaped squares, rotating and spinning in a methodical manner, aligned themselves forming a screen in front of me. They first appeared as if in a close up, and then slowly drifted back into the vision, getting smaller. This continued until these geometric squares formed a perfectly large pinkish screen. This screen gradually grew brighter, until the head of a Caucasian man, bald, appeared in front of me, and looked into me, and asked the question:
"What makes you burn?"
At this point I was completely shocked, excited and terrified at the same time, and the dream ended and I woke up with a little bit of sweat on my forehead. This was an extremely intense dream. I havent had anything like this in a long time. I didnt sense anything malicious about the dream itself, I was more terrified of the vividness of the dream and the loss of control. I could sense myself this time in the dream, which I usually could not do.
I did however found the experience quite fufilling, oddly, and I'd like to try to bring the LD's back. My friend who is practicing LD's said that I may have a natural ability to LD and I suppressed it when I was younger because I was so scared of the dreams. I think this time I will face my fears and ride the dreams out. I have a feeling I was so scared that I ended this dream, and I wonder what would have happened it I didnt end it. An interesting fact is that my dreams tend to be very intense when I nap for short periods of time.
Any thoughts, advice etc would be appreciated :) (thanks for reading this far!)
