The same person in my dreams every night.
I'm new to this. I only joined for this:
Recently, I broke off a 3 1/2 year relationship with a really wonderful guy. The only reason why I did it was because 1) we lived 100 miles away. 2) he dropped out of high school, and at first it wasn't a big deal, but since I'm about to graduate high school and go into college, I didn't want that constant burden of knowing he has done absolutely nothing. I couldn't see a future with us if he barely had his own life together (he also recently got fired from wal-mart so that made matters worse) 3) my mother died in Jan. 2010, and since then I've been battling depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety, and I couldn't deal with a relationship and still be on the verge of a mental breakdown every single day. He didn't understand me and It frustrated me. But, every since we broke up I've only felt worse.
At first, it wasn't bad. I didn't cry. But, now... every night I have this dream. And, he's in it. But, it's him when we first got together. And, they are very vivid, so I understand everything. I feel so good in the dreams. Then, I wake up and I feel like I'm the worst person in the world. I feel so guilty.
Well, last night was the worst. Typically, after the dream I think about contacting him again and go against my instincts and try to get back together. This dream was exactly that. I contacted him and at first he hated me and then we got back together.
I don't know WHAT to do. I want my mind to just shut up and let me sleep without this constant agonizing feeling of guilt and regret all mixed up. It's like my mind is teasing me, giving me this good happy feeling and letting me feel safe and secure, then takes it all away and tells me how I should really feel.
I just wanted to know how to can stop dreaming of this same person. If there's any way to trick my mind into stopping. I'm afraid to sleep, I'm afraid to dream.
Dreaming used to be peaceful, and now it's a nightmare.
