Newbie here - I've been lucid dreaming all my life but want to explore more
Hello all :)
I'm new here and I hope I get to learn, help and be helped.
My story is a bit different than I guess most people, who try and try to have lucid dreams.
I've been lucid dreaming all my life. Not all dreams, of course. But most of them...
I remember being around 4 or 5 years old and already having dreams which I could control - one recurrent theme was going to a nearby shopping mall, while dreaming, which had a colorful water fountain, and just jumping from high places into it, splashing about... like it was some sort of amusement park ride. I guess for a child it seemed pretty exciting!
Since I can remember I've been dreaming and aware that I was dreaming, and able to control dreams to some extent. In fact, I thought this was the standard for everyone, until when I was 12 or 13 years old, discussed this with several people and found out it wasn't.
I also suffer from sleep paralysis since childhood (not very often) and always thought it was normal, so it never frightened me much (it does frighten me, nowadays, when it's accompanied by auditory hallucinations and I can't figure out if someone broke into my house or if I'm just hallucinating! heh).
Growing up I had severe lack of self esteem, and it would reflect on my dreams. For example, I'd try to fly but couldn't do it properly, could only fly very low. Or I'd "create" a motorbike (always wanted to have one) and effectively I'd get one, but once I got to ride it, I'd realize it wasn't a real bike, it was a toy bike. This was very, very frustrating for me, I would wake up everytime with a great sense of frustration. It got to a point where I'd be aware I was dreaming and think, oh no... not again... I have to wake myself up (I can wake myself up without any problems). Instead of a blessing, my dream control became some sort of curse. As I eventually got over my lack of confidence (mostly), it got better.
Anyway, eventually I searched the internet for clues some years ago, and realized this was called lucid dreaming, but never really thought about getting "better" at it... until now. Finally something "clicked" and I realized I might be missing out on a lot. Nowadays I don't have as many lucid dreams as I had when I was, say, a teenager, but they still occur, and I want to explore them.
So, after this long text (sorry) I was wondering if anyone has good topics for me to read (I'll start exploring right away though!) or wisdom to share. I'm really glad I found this forum!
