new lucid dreamer needing tips :)

hi all, im new to lucid dreaming (and writing on forums as well for that matter) and need some tips from experienced lucid dreamers.
i have had unintentional lucid dreams and sleep paralysis in the past but i started trying to become lucid 4 days ago and so far i have had a WILD each day even though i don't do reality checks or write a dream journal.
So my problem isn't becoming lucid it's that i lose lucidity after a few seconds, i can't control anything in my dreams and also my subconscious mind seems to be trolling me.

so far my lucid dreams have been like this...

day 1 - i become lucid and then go looking for sex, then i lose all my motor skills collapse on a bed then wake up.

day 2 - i become lucid then start jumping up and down trying to fly which doesn't work, then i start searching for a female dream character, i finally find one and ask if she wants to have sex and she agrees and then after taking all her clothes off i wake up.

day 3 - i become lucid and then find a wand and try to summon up the female i want to have sex with but instead summon some fat hairy bloke that is dressed as her, i then try again and manage to summon her up and then wake up.

day 4 - i become lucid and it is dark so i try to turn on the lights with the light switch but nothing happens, so i then start shouting for it to work but the lights that i didn't want to turn on go on instead. my subconscious then creates a second light switch for the lights i wanted turning on making out as though i was an idiot, then i try to go outside but the door wont open until in the end i shout at it to open. then after finally being able to go outside i wake up.

cheers :)

ps i have tried spinning and rubbing my hands but it doesn't seem to work

Day1-its normal I also did that but u have to learn to stay focused. Day2-well,I learnt how to fly by jumping off a mountain but note 'it's scary and u might wake up'try levitation. I believe u got too excited after stripping her(calm down). Day3- using "abilities"need full concentration and control and if not done right u loose dream stability.Day4-cant say much but I believe u have to meet ur subconscious mind,u can learn more from it. Oh! about the rubbing nd spinning, it never worked for me try flowing with the dream eg. Walk around,run,sing etc . hope I helped.

Welcome to Dreamviews!

I think you are trying to do too much. First thing you should do is to stabilize and establish yourself inside the dream. Become a part of it. Engage all your senses. Touch anything that's nearby, if there is nothing, then clap your hands, touch the ground, your arms, legs, ... those things are always there.
Smell the air, talk to yourself "this is a dream", eat something, stomp your feet to feel and hear it...

Sex can be done, but if the urge drives you like that, that means you are not fully in control. Tell yourself "ok, I'll have sex, but first I'll do this". And then stabilize.

Sex requires you to have a narrow focus and you lose track of rest of the dream, that's why it's not easy to do. Before getting lucid, make a plan of what you want to do.

Having good awareness in dreams helps you take control.

Sageouse's self-awareness - rest of the tutorial is also really good, it will help you with WILDs.

Sivason's Dream Yoga

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bluesman1

i become lucid and then go looking for sex

then i start searching for a female dream character, i

try to summon up the female i want to have sex with

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I think this is part of your problem. There is nothing wrong with the act itself, but you are attempting to steer your dreams in very specific ways that take a lot of practice; practice that you'll never get, if you try to start out at this level. Don't try to control the direction of your dream just yet. Just experience it. Even I lose many lucid dreams for this very reason.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bluesman1

day 4 - i become lucid and it is dark so i try to turn on the lights with the light switch but nothing happens, so i then start shouting for it to work but the lights that i didn't want to turn on go on instead. my subconscious then creates a second light switch for the lights i wanted turning on making out as though i was an idiot, then i try to go outside but the door wont open until in the end i shout at it to open. then after finally being able to go outside i wake up.

cheers

ps i have tried spinning and rubbing my hands but it doesn't seem to work

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Conviction.
When it was dark, you TRIED to turn on the lights.
Then you TRIED to go outside.

Even though you weren't consciously aware of it, you were causing all of this to happen. Most likely it is because you had doubts. When you TRIED to turn on the lights, you knew that there was a chance that they wouldn't turn on, and that's exactly what happened. When you tried to go outside, the same thing happened.

It's very hard to explain, but in real life, you don't TRY to turn on the lights. You just do it, with no second thought. If you do that in a dream, it will work. The laws of physics, within a dream, are controlled by what you know. If you KNOW that you can fly (and you can) then you will fly. If you know that you can't, you can't. If you know that you might be able to fly, then that is the exact reality. You MIGHT be able to fly.

EXPECT it to happen. KNOW that it will happen. I promise that it will.

The only exception that I have found, has been the limitation caused by the stability of the dream. I have been able to conjure huge buildings, and change my location, but not when the dream isn't strong enough. Try those stunts when the dream isn't vivid, and you'll just wake up.

thanks for the help :)