A (very long) introduction
Hi all!
I've literally just registered on Dreamviews and thought I'd introduce myself and also attempt to organize my own thoughts considering the world of lucid dreaming. Warning: babble, babble and some more babble.
My dreams have always been extremely vivid and detailed and I have also always been able to recall them extremely well after waking up, although I have never had a dream diary (I really should start keeping one). As a kid I used to entertain my friends by telling them about my dreams, and occasionally I still do it. I have also always had lucid dreams, sometimes more, sometimes less, without fully understanding the possibilities they offer, and they have never been that clear and have always ended quite abruptly. The realization of being in a dream is there, but everything is kind of murky and confusing and I can't think clearly, and then it ends. I also remember returning to a dream after waking up when I was very young (it was a terrifying dream about my favourite cartoon characters dropping down from a mountain, but for some reason I wanted to get back to it).
The first time I really became aware of the nocturnal possibilities of my mind was when I had a terrible sleep paralysis attack after having just moved out to live on my own. I floated, saw someone sitting on my desk, couldn't breath, did that Exorcist movement up and down in my bed and was absolutely terrified. The next morning I googled a little and found out about sleep paralysis and lucid dreams and became mildly curious. That time I didn't do much research, but the next time I had a lucid dream it was a bit clearer, although I still didn't know what to do with it. I was in my bedroom and attempted to read a letter on my desk to find out what my subconscious had to say, but it made no sense, and then the dream started drifting away and became just a regular dream. The following morning I simply said "meh" and continued with my life as normal.
Then about a month ago I woke up (?) in the middle of the night and got this awful feeling. My body was vibrating, I heard a loud, humming sound and felt like something was violently dragging me into the unconscious. I had to fight the feeling to keep my eyes open and to remain conscious as I genuinely felt that if I let go I would never wake up again. Once again I was terrified, and really felt like I was going to die if I let the force drag me to sleep. The next morning I was convinced I had had a stroke or something, googled the symptoms and once again read about sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming, but this time wanted to delve into it a bit more. I found out about hypnagogia and WILD and was absolutely amazed.
That evening, after having read a little (very little) about the WILD technique, I decided to give it a go. I laid there on my back, relaxed with my eyes closed, staring at my eyelids and counting seconds. After a while I felt this weird sensation of heavy darkness somehow falling on me and my eyes, got freaked out, although evergrowingly curious, and quit. The next day I researched some more.
In the past couple of weeks I have attempted an evening WILD a few times, and I believe I have been pretty close. I actually had a succesful one one morning, almost by accident, as I woke up very early and saw these shapes and patterns before my eyes and could hear a loud, chiming sound in my ears. I went "Hey! This must be hypnagogia!" and remembered what I had read about imagining a dream scene. I imagined what first popped into my mind, the beach at our summer house. Then I felt like something was vacuuming my gut from the inside, and found myself floating amidst reeds by that exact summerhouse of ours. It was incredible. Unfortunately I still didn't know what to do while lucid, as I had only read about how to achieve one. I dashed across the water, entered the summerhouse and found myself at my parents'. I went upstairs, found my mother in the kitchen, freaked out (yeah, I get freaked out easily), went back down and attempted to enter one of the buildings on the yard in hopes that I'd enter another dream reality. Then the dream just kind of drifted away. A couple of days after that I had a DILD on the front yard of the house of my parents. I jumped into the air and flew, but the dream once again disappeared just as I was about reach our neighbours'. Neither of these dreams was crystal clear. I became frustrated and searched for ways to stay lucid and make the dreams more clear, but haven't had an opportunity to test those methods out yet. Well, I have had these odd semi lucidish dreams where I frantically rub my hands together in complete darkness and nothing happens, but I doubt those count. I might just be thinking about it too much.
Now on to my evening WILD attempts. Remember when I was freaked out by the darkness falling on me? The next thing that freaked me out was my heart attempting to pound it's way out of my chest. That time I had to stop, too. Yesterday evening I endured both and got quite far, and very fast, too. I almost completely lost sense of my body, even my lips went numb. The buzzing and the chiming sounds were loud. I could see swirling lights before my eyes. I attempted to imagine a dream scene a couple of times, but nothing happened. Now I'm a bit ashamed to admit this, but I got bored and wanted to sleep, so I quit this time, too. I have this annoying problem with my eyes forcing themselves open while relaxed, and I believe that might be a part of the problem, as I have to force them shut. I also feel like I have to squint whenever I see a bright light while attempting a WILD, so I can never fully relax. I also believe I might be trying too hard, and analysing and thinking about what should be happening now and what should happen next, too much. It's almost like I'm too concentrated inside my head.
I have also attempted to have an early morning WILD a couple of times but, apart from that one time it happened on accident, so far I haven't even been able to reach the hypnagogic state. For some reason I just give up very fast and go back to sleep... I'm really not a morning person.
Well... I suppose that's pretty much it. Sorry for the long read. I'm planning to practice some more and hopefully more often, and perhaps some day achieve a succesful WILD or DILD to report back to you guys.
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Sweet dreams everyone (I think I just used the biggest cliché known to this forum...)
