Help! Seemingly unable to lucid dream

I’m posting on this forum in hopes that it will aid in allowing me to have a lucid dream, as I have read others say that posting on this forum can do that. However, I am not very hopeful as I’ve been trying to lucid dream for over two months without results.

To give some background, in my teens I read a book about out-of-body experiences and tried to have obos based solely on curiosity, buy in retrospect I think this was a bit naïve on my part. I think I have read recently that obo’s might only be a kind of lucid dreaming. In my mid-twenties, I involved with somebody for a few years that was a talented lucid dreamer, and I tried to have lucid dreams myself during this time, to no avail. The only interesting thing I could do was generate ‘photographs’ just as I was closing my eyes at night, that is, still images that seemed crystal clear to me, yet not created by a thinking process. These lasted an instant then quickly faded, but sometimes I would try to draw them, as they were often beautiful painting-like images that were far more interesting that anything I would have thought of.

Now, a decade later my interest in lucid dreaming has returned with the purchase of a book, ‘Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self’. I started reading it about two months back, and since then I’ve been thinking about lucid dreaming constantly. I haven’t had a lucid dream though. However, early on in this process, I did manage to have a really interesting dream ABOUT lucid dreaming. I will re-tell the dream below:

I was with a friend that was a super-model. She was on her way to a modeling convention and she asked me if I wanted to come with her. I thanked her but told her I couldn’t, I was too bogged down by motherhood. She then offered me an alternative, another event I could come to that was nearby, this time I accepted. It was a lucid dream simulation. This simulation had something to do with a ferris wheel like structure you had to get on. I did so, and noticed that it turned in all sorts of strange directions. I was clinging on to a pole that protruded from the wheel structure. Other people who were on other poles would jump off and free-fall, they landed safely because it was a lucid dream. I, however, did not want to let go because I did not know what would happen (the dream blurs here and I forget certain parts). At some point, I start to hear beautiful tones. They really resonate with me and I start to sing loudly. Eventually the simulation stops and I am off the wheel structure. I run after the man who had orchestrated the simulation . . . I had questions for him. But he was surrounded by other interested parties and I had to wait. Finally I had my chance and I went up to him. I told him what a coincidence it was that I had just started to read a book about lucid dreaming three days ago and here I was, attending a lucid dream simulation. He replied “Amazing! Well . . . happy dreaming!” and turned away, starting to ascend some steps. “Wait!” I said, “I have more questions! . . . I know lucid dreaming is real . . . but . . .” I started. “What do you mean by ‘real’” the orchestrator replied. “I mean, that it can really be experienced, as you and others have described it . . . but . . .” And here I was going to describe how murky my dreams are, how they don’t seem anything like real life, and basically, can I really lucid dream?

But then the alarm clock went off and sadly, forced me out of my dream, just as I felt so close to getting some answers. Since then no more dreams –about- lucid dreaming, and no lucidity, ever.

I know what the recommendations are in order to achieve lucidity, dream journals, reality checks, etc. I’ve read through this forum a lot and feel I have a good understanding about what I should be doing. However, I am the mother of two small children right now they demand A LOT of my time and attention, so I cannot keep a consistent dream journal, nor have ideal or regular sleep habits, etc (any other parents out there who find parenting decreases their ability to normal dream or lucid dream?) Maybe its bad timing and I should try again when my kids are older?

I’ve been keeping journals for many years, in which I intersperse accounts of my day to day life with dream memories. I’ve always been interested in my dreams and some of them have been quite meaningful, in a few instances I would say they were even precognitive. However, many of my dreams are murky and convoluted, during sadder times in my life the dreams have been darker, and during happier times they have been more mundane. Never are they as exciting or clear as lucid dreamers describe. I feel I am really missing out on this experience.

My reason for wanting to lucid dream is to grow in consciousness, and to do some of the ‘inner work’ that I cant seem to get done during my busy waking days. I’ve been on a spiritual path for years and would like to get some answers, if I can, in the dream world.

This is a last ditch attempt. I am hoping by posting on this forum something will be triggered and help me to at last have a lucid experience.

Thanks and blessings to you all.

I have found that on average it takes 6-12 weeks for a very devoted person to her even a brief flash of lucidity. Do not be discouraged. You are starting a journey towards one of the most powerful mental disciplines man can develop. Give it time. It is worth it. If you try for two years to no end,,, then maybe it would be time to get frustrated. For now, you are doing fine.

Welcome. I found your personal story interesting. You're right that you'll need to find a balance between lucid dreaming and being a busy mom. I don't think you need to stop completely. If you're already versed in journaling, RCs, etc then you're already doing everything right. You say your dreams are mundane and you'll looking to do "inner work", so I think perhaps you're looking to dreams as an outlet for creativity, imagination, and self-awareness. I think the best thing you can do is it bring those things into your waking life so that they will also filter into your dream life. Having kids is an opportunity to re-discover what it's like to think like a child, to explore you creativity, and to regain wonder and imagination. So try not to think of it as competing priorities. Instead, adopt the attitude that dream life is an extension of waking life and vice versa. They can reinforce and complement each other.

Hi Sivason,

Thanks, your reply is encouraging. It is good to know it takes time. And actually, I have a small update. One of my frustrations is that even though I do random reality checks during the day (looking at my hands), I never have recollection of looking or seeing my hands in dreams. Well, this morning my alarm clock woke me up in the middle of an interesting dream. I was walking with a group of people in a kind of demonstration. I was walking next to the my ex-partner/lucid dreamer (who is a reoccurring dream figure), and he grabbed my right hand in a tight grip. He told me to raise my left hand in protest, to show that I believe in the ‘cause’. I raised my left hand slowly, I remember the feeling, and finally I pointed my finger upwards. My arm felt heavy but I made the effort. I didn’t have enough consciousness to realize that my hands are my cue to do a reality check. But when I woke up I actually felt happy because I actually had hands in a dream! And I am taking this is a sign that I am making some progress, and that some level of remembrance is seeping in to my dreams.

Hi Sisyphus,
Thank you for your insightful response. You are right, I am finding it difficult to find the time for self-expression and growth that I would like . . . and I do find motherhood overwhelming at times. But it is true that our dream life reflects our waking life, and so in order to 'wake up' in my dreams, I need to 'wake up' in real life, that is, I need to contemplate life in all of its wondrousness in spite of its complexities and apparent burdens.