Greetings everyone - I'm a lucid dreamer, sleep paralysis sufferer, and have so much I need to say.
Hello everyone! My name is Jesse, but you can refer to me as Jesric. I've actually been a member of this community for around 10 years if not longer I believe but I just sort of stopped attempting lucid dreaming so I sort of stopped visiting. Since then, several events have occurred that have profound effects on my dreams, and I think it's worth mentioning those events as they add context to who I am as a person, and maybe some of you might find how my experiences tie into lucid dreaming to some extent. I'm going to separate this introduction into three sections. First I will tell you how I achieved lucid dreaming on a regular basis and the tools and methods I used in the past. Second, I will tell you how my use of DMT and an accidental dose that was, due to my own carelessness the most profoundly terrible event in my life and how it has affected my dreams (mostly in a negative way) since that event. Last, I'm going to talk about where I am now and what brings me back to this community after so many years.
My History
When I began using this community, I was really just interested in discovering how to have lucid dreams and especially control those dreams. I began by using the straightforward technique (not sure what it's called), where you hold your nose and try to breathe. This worked exceptionally well, and I began having frequent lucid dreams. The downside was that I also began to experience sleep paralysis on an ongoing basis. Ultimately, I decided it was not worth the sleep paralysis to put my lucid dreaming on hold. I still have lucid dreams and have continued to have them to this day (although on a less frequent basis.)
The DMT Misadventure
I've always struggled with death anxiety. Trying DMT and safely experiencing death would be an excellent way to overcome that fear. The first time I tried DMT, I used Syrian Rue capsules along with the DMT (you must have an MAOI to make it orally bio-available.) That experience went really well, but I guess it only scratched the surface. I wanted to dig a little deeper. I didn't precisely like swallowing 8 Syrian Rue capsules, so I got harmala extract. This is where I seriously messed up. Without doing at least a trial run with the harmala extract, I went in based on a Reddit post, which was far too much. I experienced the feeling that I had taken something that was killing me, and I could feel life slowly fading. Hysterically I begged my wife to call 911 because I was positive I was near death. By the time the EMT arrived, it was too late. I experienced basically four stages of death, and based on testimony from others, I still believe these are the four stages of dying.
- Panic & Anger
- Grief & Regret for those I was leaving to clean up the mess (my wife, for example.)
- An overwhelming sense of peace and calm and the slow realization that life does not end at death; while I don't want to get too deep into this if anyone is interested in hearing what I learned, I am happy to share.
- Ego-loss and dissolution of your subconscious.
After that last phase, I remember nothing except returning to my body like I was arriving at a high-speed train station. This event caused many changes, both good and bad. The big difference is that I am no longer afraid of death, whenever that may come. I am only afraid of death if I don't get close.
The adverse effects included an extreme increase in sleep paralysis to the extent that I have seen some seriously terrifying entities while being unable to move or sometimes even breathe.
Current Situation
I have been a hefty user of Marijuana edibles daily with extremely high potency. I had no idea, but one of the side effects of marijuana withdrawal is strange or unsettling dreams. Since going through the withdrawal period (which is over), I experienced my first lucid dreams in a long time and some other bizarre dreams.
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To conclude, I have a unique perspective where my dreams have changed significantly since the DMT incident, and I'm hoping that posting them here will allow me to both vent, help entertain the community and maybe share some ideas you might not have ever considered.
